| Show Telegram Short Story They Come Dumber By E. E P. P OBryan I Gracie Grade knew as much about horses andr andrace ce tra ks an Eskimo knows Ws about tho price o of seats at a Car- Car nera-Baer nera fight in Madison Square Garden In fact she asks in the taxi taCi on the way to the race raco trace how the horses know which way to run and do they have to be told when to start Naw Jake says they make it up among themselves Where you from anyway anway Didn't you ever see seea a horse race before Honest I never did Gracie Grade says Gracie Grade was dumb all right but I have havo seen them dumber No one though ever gave me the surprise of my life Ufe like Gracie Grade did When we get to the track Gracie takes a look at It and says kind of surprised like Why Its It's round How do t the te c horses know when to quit running I They dont don't Jake says they just run until they get too tired to run any more then they quit quits s Yeah Mouth Big says say the last one that quits wins tho the race Gracie Grade was down to San Diego to see the sights and Jake Joke kind of at liked her looks when he saw her in the hotel lobb lobby Of Ot course he didn't know she was so dumb or maybe he wouldn't have asked her to go to the races with him Jake Joke got a a. program program program pro pro- gram and showed Gracie Grade how each horse was rated but she didn't get any of it Look she says you mean to tell ten me Fly Flytraps Flytrap's traps trap's the name of a horse that horse that one down at the end of tho the list Hat 1 Sure pure Jake Jako says lays Why not Ive I've heard of worse names than that But why do they have him down at the end nd of the list Yo You said aid he was twenty to What does doeg that mean 1 Simply this Jake says Hes Hess Hesso s so good goo they wont put him up atthe atthe at atthe the head of the list They start him way down at the end sos BO'S all the other horses will have a chance Ho How Hosy unfair I Grade Gracie says I dont don't call that sportsmanship Nor mo me either Mouth Big-Mouth says I If It I was doing it I would give him hima a half halt hours hour's start and then maybe hed he'd have a chance I think youre you're kidding me Gracie Grade says Now you got us wrong Big Big- Mo Mouth th says his sides shaking from J laughing hl g so o much u h. h Wo V wouldn't kid a pretty dame like you you not not much Lay off oft Jake says Have a aheart heart But you just g got through telling I me hes he's down at the tho foot of the list so 10 the other horses would have a chance Now you say lay you would give him a half halt hours hour's start If It that's not kidding then I dont don't know kidding kid Idd- ding when I hear it it When Mouth Big-Mouth went down to tolay tolay tolay lay a little bet on Tippy toes in the second race Grace asked to go along When they came back Gracie Grade was full of ot eagerness It looks terribly terribly terribly ter ter- ter- ter easy she says ays Is Is that al all you do pay in your money like that and get some back 1 If It you only got some of ot it back Jake sighed it wouldn't be so bad The h h- h hof of It is most of ot the time you dont don't get any back How much would you win win win-it if you d do win in 1 Gracie Grade asks Mouth Big-Mouth made some mental cal cal- About 40 he concluded Somewhere around that But But you only bet 10 didn't you Uh Hell He'll pay four to one Mouth Big-Mouth won all right That is is won and Mouth Big-Mouth collected collected collected col col- col- col 2860 for his 10 spot Gracie Grade was b bubbling over with en en- thu She had 50 sQ in her purse she said that she ahe could afford to bet You keep It in your purse Jake says Lay off oft these horses For anybody that dont don't know no more about a horse than you do you better better better bet bet- ter not even open that purse Somebody Somebody Somebody Some Some- body might sell lieU you the track I know some slickers around here tHat tRat would take fifty for the tho track and be glad to sell It it Grade Gracie said Well Ve 11 I wouldn't wouldn want their old track anyway I would want a track that was straight straight not not one that just goes round and round Well this ones one's anything but straight Jake says I ought to know if it anybody does Ive I've got slick slick- ered on it more times than youve you've got fingers and toes By the time the horses were goIng going go go- ing lug to the post for tor the last race Jake and BIgMouth had lost six ninety-six bucks between them including al altho all tho the profits from the s second con race Here Jake says to Gracie Grade godown godown go godown down and bet this sawbuck on anything anything anything any any- thing and dont don't toll tell mOl which one Dont Don't stand there looking foolish Go make a bet on some horse horse any any horse Just give it to the man at tho the window and tell teU him hint which horse you like Gracie Grade a came a m in e back presently clutching a green ticket In iu her handT handI hand I T dont don't want to know Jake warns her I want to be sur sur- priced The last Jast race finally got under underway underway underway way and which nag do you suppose gallops home two lengths to the good Fly Flytrap trap Now that t just to show goes goos you what a horse picker I am Jake says Last week week week- but just then Grade Gracie lets out a scream and looks like mee she sho wants to go somewhere but bu dont don't know where She didn't say anything She just handed Jake the little green ticket It was a n. 60 mu mu- tuel on Fly Flytrap trap the winner Oh Oli Jake Grade Gracie finally manages manages manages man man- ages to say the one I be bet your ten and my fifty on him I It ItI I you hadn't told me mo he ho was such a good horse and all allBut allBut all all- But just then Jakes Jake's eyes popped out of his head and a second later h he passed out completely I 1 saw them what he had seen The price had just gone up on tho the automatic announcer an an- Gracie Grade doesn't yet know why th the theman man mOon paid her 2592 though if it Jake Jak has tried once to explain hes he's tried a thousand times Copyright for The Telegram |
