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Show WjklPhillipr P m N mnm ITALY AND INVASION ETIQUETTE ("Pamphlets urging Italians to be polite to Invaders have been circulated circu-lated la Italy." News Item.) Italy doesn't want any misunderstanding misunder-standing about this Invasion. She knows the danger she faces if it is slowed up too much. She wants the invaders to feel at home. This Is one of the most important im-portant invasions any country ever faced. And no country ever had more reason to want it to come off all right and with all possible smoothness. "I've got some inside lines In Italy," said Elmer Twitchell today, "and my sources of information tell me the Italians want our Invasion to be a 100 per cent success. They don't want any half-hearted welcomes. wel-comes. They hold that any Italian with the best interests of his country at heart will show the invaders every ev-ery courtesy, and throw in a few flowers. "After a country has had the Nazis around a few weeks it will welcome any change, however unusual," un-usual," he continued. "There are thousands of Italians learning the words and music of 'Yankee Doodle Dandy right now so they will be abie to sing and play it when we are sighted anywhere near shore. They're so sick of what Hitler has done to their country that even Mussolini Mus-solini is getting impatient at the Allies Al-lies for holding off so long." Twitchell may be right. There are some signs of it. This department depart-ment has just received a report that rules of Invasion Etiquette are being be-ing circulated all over Italy, the purpose pur-pose being to see that no Italian does or says anything that might give an invading party the notion its arrival is not fully appreciated. We hear the following rules have been adopted: 1. Blocking streets or sidewalks to invaders must be avoided. 2. All persons near any dock or beach when invaders appear shall bow respectfully, give a cheery greeting and step to one side in order or-der not to interfere with the speed invasion. 3. All questions by invaders shall be answered politely, Italians asked for directions should, whenever possible, pos-sible, not only give them fully, but accompany the Invaders to the desired de-sired ooint. 4. It shall be considered good etiquette to invite an invader into the house. 5. Italians observing any attempt by Nazis to slow up the invaders shall oppose such attempts. 6. In rushing to the waterfront to welcome invasion all slow moving natives shall keep to the right in order to permit swifter moving people peo-ple to pass. The baseball season is on. Broadcasts Broad-casts will be made to troops all over the world. And fighting morale is certain cer-tain to be built up. There will be more than one case where a Yank, after making some heroic charge and capturing cap-turing a bunch of Heinies against great odds will be asked, "How did you do it? What did you think of as you went over the top?" And the answer will be, "l was thinking about that lousy decision the ump made against the Yanks in the ninth and it made me sore." There is no question of the Influence Influ-ence of baseball at the front. The yen of every American soldier is to strike Hitler out, nab Mussolini off first and get Tojo trying to steal home with the bases fulL BROADWAY STUFF An outdoor circus is being opened in the heart of Broadway, which considers itself the center of sophistication. sophis-tication. This department predicts that it will be a sensational success and make its promoter rich. Mazda Lane makes a pose of pretending that it has outgrown country tastes, thrown off the corny appetite and become be-come hard-boiled and blase. But the hay is thicker in its hair than in any similar area on earth. The chance to go for pink lemonade, popcorn jumbo peanuts, balloons and a small-town circus atmosphere right off the Main Stem will be irresistible. Gangway for the boy, uh0 have out-grown out-grown all that sort of thing! NO I'RIVATION Today I cheer the OP A And all its busy groups, For now it doesn't take' the book lo get a few canned soups. Tomato now is cut in half l.et huzzas fill the air! For I can get along n that hen all the runhnnrX. u iur c Add Similes: As difficult as getting get-ting any scrap meat for the dog under un-der that recent OPA ruling that it would be allowable. Americans are urged not to go far for vacations this summer. But don't let this encourage you to swing . hammock too near the home gar- Elmer Twitchell thinks the height of .urprise is being surprised a MuZTy that th" ,aP do un-civilized un-civilized things. |