| Show r READJUSTMENT HARD HARD i. i FOR R GIRL WHO LOST PRECIOUS POSSESSION POSSESSION i c r B By BETTY BLAIR I.- I. It is is the anner manner in which we meet and overcome the crises I our our lives s that brands us as failures or s successes that sets us r on a level evel of infantilism or an adult emotional l scale r L f Dear Mis Blair A few tew months ago aso I X lost th the deer dear dearest est t st of ot my possessions my ray mother othe The bt e loss seemed more than I could I bear then I be began an to realize burden burden bur bur- I my great den of or caring for tor the r S. S home borne and the family U I and It made the Borrow sorI sorrow sor sor- row row rown a n little less My problem Is ii this I I 1 that though my ray I- I tt t I friends all 11 sent lent flow flowers II ers and letters of or I t condolence which I Ia Ia ii a p p pre r e c 1 they flu LI have all seemed so 80 sor ru hesitant to me mo since r Iw They seeni leem to dread meeting me When I do meet them In Instead Instead Instead In- In stead of ot the time old-time merry exchanges of or conversation and plans to meet Its It's Jerry how are you yot and your father getting long along Then they are gone cone If It ever I needed their friendship It Is 15 now My Iy father tather and I have attended shows shown together and with my boy friend I have gone to a dance or two 1 I dont don't fe feel fesl 1 I I 1 am not showing reverence to tomy In my mother by doing so 80 It was more than a a month before I went out atall at nt all and then lt was to try to forget the tho tragedy that pressed down so heavIly heavily ily and made me his morbid Going out occasionally t helped me mc to keep In In mind wind the beautiful things my mother would have me remember Do you jou think my ray going to these places place has ho any bearing on my situation One boy friend sent flowers but didn't come to see me Later when I Imet Imet met mot him bini ho said he had been working at night but that he be would come soon oon But he hasn't come Another boy asked me meto to go for tor a n ride and I accepted Then he asked for br a R. date But when my mothers mother's name was mentioned mentioned mentioned men men- he be was much surprised to learn that thit she was was gone and I later ter called to break th the tho date b by saying laying he had bad to work york Now It seems I I- Ibave have bave but three friends left left- Two girls with in whom horn I have gone all aU my life Ute and a boy boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend friend who has hu been practically a r of or the family for tor years I realize eliZe I have hOon changed but whenever I X see these thes friends I smile and show them they arc free to talk and s say Y what they please I am arm a coed at the tho theU U U. U of U. U and aud hope to make mako this year yeara a success But without the cooperation cooperation cooperation tion of my ray friends to help me over my loss Tm rm afraid It will b bea be-a a failure What can I Ido do to make mak them understand understand under under- stand tand PIU FRIENDLESS LESS j You You are making a a. very brave brav effort t to do the sane and sensible thing in this crisis of at your life Friendless It would be little honor i nor to your mothers mother's memory for you rou to lo stay at home and grow morbid morbid mor mor- r- r bid over h her hir rl loss ss and if it she could let you know her will In fn the matter matterI I f feel el sure sUte she would tell you to toc c carry rry on on n as as nor normal al a a plane as po possible ible I r r But in doing so you may nay be e criticised criticised ed by yo your r f friends People can be so tho thoughtless and alid 8 so cruel in their criticisms critIcisms- Your effort to keep ep the threads Js ds of f y your l life te I in na a a. aI pattern I as 0 unbroken as u possible m may y be construed by others other to suggest suggest sug- sug g gest st a lack of feeling for your mothers mother's moth moth- Ji ers er's memory But even in spite of 1 i nil all this his you m must st go on I think t I however ho I l' should limit my ties for a few months to come to movies an and Invitations of your friends to see you In your home at definite times Then too loo it will be a v very ry good goodplan goodplan plan for you YOU to make new friends a at the university l Cr il People who will willbe willbe be less aware of your loss and who can can th therefore the better help you to to forg Perhaps you haven't stopped topped t to consider the gr great at hardship hardship hard hard- ship lp it Is fa a on understanding friends to attempt t to appear natural In face farie of the fact that you have undergone un undergone undergone un- un so so o much mucho of an ordeal They dont don't wa w want to offend you by ing in gaiety and arid it is difficult for forem them em to try to to fit lit into 0 a gloomy y mood Z Some of them e ni merely mere nr- r Jy ly thoughtless and have no real mo ma tive back of their conduct of trying t to ignore you you The he best thing for you to do I is to ignore their indifference and as I aay ay make new contacts contact among cl classmates mates mates' that w will p put t you ou back backon backon on on a normal al plane of pf living JivIng in the world as ss if there were no tragedies and Lind n no nei grI grief f It U will help to keep the the- mcm memory ry of your mother with yoU you OU as 54 asa a living ever guiding principle principle principle prin prin- ciple instead of of something that U pass passed ed and andl gone DOUBLE CEREMONY Blair I hope YOU wilt will n not t think rae me me too foolish when I ask uk you a question Miss Blair but I should like to know whether the wearing of ot a plain gold band w weddIng ring on the third finger of a a mans man's left hand band has any significance significance cance I 1 have seen two o or three men wear rings In this manner and I am Just a a wee bit curious to know the mea meaning tn If 11 I L any Thanking you Iam am CURIOUS A A x c double ring ceremony provides provide that the bride also give the groom a wedding rin ring This ceremony ismore Is Ismore more more mare often used wed among old world participants In the marriage ceremony cere- cere ceremony core cere mony many mony than by Americans Thank you for your very kind words o of appreciation which lack of space f forbids our printing TO TO nE REMOVE IOVE RAIN SPOTS J Dear at Miss Blair I Is la there anything that will wilt remove y J Letters questions and requests for advice Sil h should uld bo ho addressed to MISS BUSS BETTY BEY BLAIR HEAR HEARTS HEART'S S HAVEN THE TELEGRAM SALT LAKE CITY Write legibly upon upon only one side ido of tho the paper It ft 1 Is necessary that you OU append tho the right and address but these will vIlI be held in strict confidence dence and will n not t appear in print Questions Involving advertising information cannot be answered v rain spots from a new felt hat Any Apy help you can give me mo will be SALLY Hold the hat over steaming water and nd brush vigorously with a a. clean line ine bristle brush Do not permit it to become too damp or it will need eed It is very safe to let et professional hat cleaners remove water spots as they will see to it that hat the shape is not ruined SCHOOL ROMANCE ROl Dear Miss Blair There is a boy In one of or my classes at high school who seems seems' to be In Interested Interested interested In- In In me Whenever er I look his way he be Is 15 also looking at me I know his name and DUd I am am sure he ho knows mine Shall I speak to him without waiting for someone to Introduce us Thank you STUDENT S Students in the same classes speak peak to each other without introductions introductions Intro- Intro providing they have class interests in common about which to o t talk After conversations are started In this way on a purely Impersonal impersonal Im- Im personal basis basi and wholly concerning concerning concern- concern ing ng lessons or some other phase of J. J READERS ATTENTION If you are arc enjo enjoying ing the i Hearts Heart's Haven radio pro programs ams listen in again tonight over at How and where the the family income goes and an idea as to its proper disposal disposal dis dis- dis will vill be he discussed f school chool life It frequently happens they ley develop into personal friend- friend ships hips It would be very foolish for students who have so much in common common com corn mon about which to talk t to wait for Introductions before they dare ask questions of ot each other concerning lesson assignments and so on |
