Show bed bock beef ler lerat I I at W Wy X r II I y GERTRUDE ATHERTON G I L L Continued I 1 There has always aIwas been a lot of or of I talk about the soul BOUl Sentimentalists Sentimental Sentimental- wallow in the tho word and realists realists real real- deride it It What it U really Is 18 I Ido Ido Ido do not l pretend to know Probably as all good a word as an any any and and and certainly certainly certainly a very mellifluous word word word- for tor some somer obscure chemical combination combination combi combi- nation of finer tiner essence than the obvious material part o of us that craves a foretaste of or immortality while we are still sUll mortal Perhaps we are descended from the sods gods after all nIl and amI unless we listen lIston when the they whisper in this part of our being we find only a miserable substitute for Cor happiness and love turns to hate Whatever it is that golden essence demands I 1 ha have found it in you and if circumstances had been different different different dif dif- dif dif- ferent I should havo have known it long ago I know now what you meant that night when you OU told me you nad load spent many distracted years I looking for what wha noman could give you OU and although I doubted at nt that time Ume I could even guess what your own mysterious essence demanded I know now now still still vaguely for it is something as far beyond the defining definIng defining ing power of ot words as the faith of ot the Christian It can never be seen nor heard nor express expressed d but it is I there And ohly only once in a lifetime does any anyone one mortal have havo it to give to another A man may love many times but he is a man god-man only once He lIe held her m more more re closely for forshe sho she was trembling but ho he continued continued continued con con- to walk on guiding her automatically automatically automatically auto auto- through the trees for his bis eyes were almost vacant as if it their vision had been reversed I have had some hours of utter despair in spite of ot the double excitement excitement ex excitement ex- ex of these past weeks for forit forit forit it has seemed to me that I was no nearer to you than I had been in the beginning There was a sense ot of unreality about the whole affair At first it seemed to me the most romantic thing that could Happen to any man and it was incredible that I had been chosen the hero of ot such an extraordinary romance romance romance-in- in intensified 1 if anything by the fact that it was set in roaring New NewYork NewYork NewYork York where you have to talk at nt the top of your voice to hear tear lear yourself think But that passed passed passed-in in a tear tear-I I measure I was beset j by r the fear at times I mt mean nn I was not always always al- al ways in a state to nook look Inward Inward- that you jou wore slipping sUpping away Not that I doubted for a moment you would marl marry mt me b but t t that t your in innermost innermost in- in inscrutable self had withdrawn withdrawn with with- drawn and that you Oll accepted what must have appeared to be my own gratitude that gratitude that we were ere merely two vital b beings who saw In each other othera a prospect of ot a superior sort of sensual sensual sensual sen sen- sual delight delight- That is not true she interrupted interrupt interrupt- ed od him fiercely But you seemed I to me mo to be In that phase when a aman aman I Iman man can think of or nothing else If It ItI I hadn't hoped hoped and and believed believed In In you ou against all I knew of men Id I'd never have gone on with it Im sure that is true I must have disappointed you horribly You had felt tho the bona bond bon tram the beginning beginning be be- ginning and I can ima Imagine ine what you ou must have dreamed I alone could give you Tho The trouble was that I didn't realize that I alone was in fault at nt the time Ume That boiling bollIng boning bon boll Ing pot in my br brain in was as making I too much noise But I can assure you ou that I have r returned turned to normal i and if it I thought I 1 couldn't satisfy I you ou Id I'd let you go without a word But you know that I can dont don't you ou Sho She nodded What is it I wonder lie He Hei i sighed I I wish I knew But it Is enough to feel You must understand that In spite of the er erratic erratic erratic er- er creature you havo have Known since you refused to marry me mo at once and loft left me mo with no re resource but to let that play boil bol ou outs outi I am man first and a writer incidentally I also havo have a stronger ambition to tobe tobe tobe be your husband than to write plays If It I dont don't strangle what talent talent talent tal tal- tal- tal ent I I have it is because I must have the money to be bo independent of ot newspaper work Otherwise I I should have neither peace of ot mind nor be able to live ive abroad with you I know that you cannot be happy I here and I am not a victim of that ancient myth that two people who love each other can be happy an any any- where Environment is half halt the battle for battle for the at all I events But you shall never have another dose of ot the writer Ill I'll write my I plays lays in New York and rushi rush 1 i production The greater part or the year I shall shan spend with you in Eu Eu- I II I I I I i I rope and I cannot think of ot anything anything anything any any- more why why the very thing Id I'd like mee more night ht I first saw you I was longing longing long long- ing with all m my soul to get out of ot Now New York and over to tho the other side sido of the world Why Mary You are not crying You I never oe- oe 11 ed l you ou could did I I i did not believe e it either But are are you sure S Could you reconcile yourself You Tot seem so much a a. part of ot New York of this strange high pitched a- a tion If you are aro not sure sure sure-it if you are only onh tired of New York for tor the I Yes I-Yes yes I will Ill I'll give it all up and live JI here Of ot course I love Now oty York itself Itself Itself- was was it not my Mary Ogden home And there aro are delightful deJl people everywhere everywhere o No doubt my dream of doing great things in l Europe Ku- Ku u- u rope ropo was mer mei meto o vanity vanity- Do you believe that Perhaps not But nut after all what I tried to do might bo so easily frustrated rm In that cauldron why cauldron why should I risk personal happiness happiness- the tho most precious and tho rarest thing In life liCe for tor what may be n chimera wasted chimera wasted years and a wasted wasted wasted wast wast- ed life Why are aro wo we made as we weare are arc If to coax coax that hidden spark spa into a steady flame Is not our highest highest high high- est destiny It certainly Is IR our manifest right Dreams ot of otI doing great things In this world are arc tenths nine-tenths personal vanity I be bei believe believe be- be lieve that when we Wo leave this planet wo we go to a higher star where whore our Incompleteness hero here will bo ho made complete tei and perhaps we spared a term of probation make ourselves as complete as mortal conditions will p p And possibly once in a grea great two human beings are permit effect that completeness toge tope They were both In an ie re mood The wood was ve very Y its beauty Incomparable Anc An might already have havo been been- o o other star r Across that divine balsam s sc stillness came the tho deep imps imp notes of a bell Clavering twitched his Sh shoe l Impatiently T I Let them go on their sere acre picnic ho he said Wo We stay Did you mean that Mary I Yes I r meant It t. t Vie Vo will willi j to Europe at all except all except to tomy tomy tomy my Dolo notes some day are writing Ill I'll come up here Co Continued tomorrow |