Show MERRY LITTLE QUIPS JESTS ANCIENT AND MODERN AND RETOUCHED Beginning of the Unpleasantness Between Be-tween Mrs Hoyle and Mrs Doyle i Miss Ostrich Had a Dire Foreboding The Helpful Girl Pas Suggestion Johnny said Mr Uoggsley do you know where Broadwell Hlggln sons law office Is Nope answered Johnny without looking up from his 5ccnt novel Should say not I Well say Johnny said Mr Boggs Icy after a thoughtful pause suppose sup-pose you take Deadwood Dick and Calamity Jane with you and see If you cant pick up the trallDctrolt Tribune Trib-une Congratulations = z 1 Mr LeopardI am very glad to hear you are going to be married Miss OstrichYou are Well what have I over done to you Fixed Why dont you go to work demanded de-manded the housekeeper Well yer see began the gray haired old loafer 1 got n wife and three children to support But If you dont work how can you support As I wuz asayln lady I got a wife and three children to support me Trouble Ahead TownePoor Dumleys In for it lIe married a girl who stutters you know BrowneWell it shouldnt be hard to outtalk a woman like that TowneYes but she r > ot only stutters stut-ters but Is also very determined If she ever starts to say anything shell l stutter through It If It takes all night Blowing His Money My dear gasped Mr Kloseman who was slowly dying I cant last much longer But oh Its sweet to think that even after death Ill bo near you and watch over you Really replied the prospective widow if thats true Im afraid mj extravagance will pain you terribly Decollette Did you see Mrs Locutto at the hop last night asked Mrs Gaddle Yes replied her husband This mornings paper says she was dressed entirely in black Is that so Wellerno I wouldnt say that she was dressed entirely Philadelphia Philadel-phia Press Helpful Girl What a big girl you are getting to be Edith I suppose you help your mother about the house a great deal 0 yes Whenever mother says tome to-me Do get out of my way I do It On to Him Yes said the redeyed clerk Im a little late this morning The midnight mid-night oil you know = Hm interrupted his employer oil eh Well the next tlmo you paint the town Id advise you to uso water colors exclusively Looked that Way SheCant you trust me dear lieI would trust you with my life darling Oh then youre not Insured The Retort Unpleasant T Mrs Hoyle They teach children very differently from the way they did when I was a girl Mrs Doylel didnt suppose there wero any schools at all when you were a girl Did He Say Clothes Why dont you grow fat instead of long and thin Kenioth asked a young woman visiting at the home of a Brooklyn lawyer Kenioth aged 5 looked at his tight fitting knickerbockers and replied Could you grow fat If your clothes I I wasnt big enough to grow fat In 7 Brooklyn Eagle |