Show IB JTZVDXETALES Pilgath Gubbs AutoHouse By Ellis Parker Bui1e 7j M2 Author oTPwJs is Aids Etc EUU5TOATED ly PETER NEWELL 1 a a I j 1111l 1 l Pete Newe1L As Soon as the Rain Slackened a Bit He Took a Look Around and He Saw the House About Twelve Miles Out on the Prairie Revolving Revolv-ing In Circles Among tho citizens of Botzville PII gath Gubbs stands out preeminently for thoughtfulness and It Is largely because he once had a grandfather That grandfather of his Is why Pll gath Is so farseeing In every action of Pilgaths life ho remembered his grandfather and many of us would be better oft If we did the same rue reason Pilgath dug his well right alongside of his barn was because be-cause he remembered that once his grandfather had fallen off the barn and had broken his arm and Pilgath figured that If ho should happen to fall off his barn he might break his arm too but that If he had a good deep well alongside his barn and fell off the barn Into the well Instead of onto the hard ground the water would break the fall It was 30 feet from the top of the barn to the ground and the well Pilgath dug was 40 feet deep and so one day when Pilgath did falloff fall-off tho barn Into the well he went down 30 feet Into tho water and was so nearly drowned that It took five hours and three quarts of whisky to bring him to Ho saw Immediately that If he fell oft the barn Into the water wa-ter a few more times he would be totally drowned to death so he fixed that by pumping all tho water out of the well timid plugging up the spring In the bottom After that there was no danger of his being drowned but the next time ho fell off the barn he fell clear to the bottom of tho well 70 feet and broke two arms and a collar col-lar boner Pilgath was a very thoughtful thought-ful foresighted man When Pilgath got married and started start-ed to build a house ho remembered that his grandfather had once built n house and then had sold tho lot the house was on and had moved his house onto another lot and that moving mov-ing the hoiiso was a lot of work So Pilgath being a thoughtful foresighted foresight-ed man decided ho would have no trouble of that kind and that lie would build his house so that If hoover ho-over wanted to move It he could move It without any trouble at all The only way he could think of to do this was to bar < ho house mounted on wheels a have a good strong automobile engine built under the front porch with a tank of gasoline In tho attic over the girls room Ho saved quite a sum on the wheels by using eight old millstones that ho had Inherited from his grandmother on his fathers side and he got n flue old storage battery at loss than cost from Aunt Hhlnocoluru I1otts who had used It for her rheumatism There wasnt any electricity in the battery but Pilgath figured he could get It Illled when moving tlmo came The crank to crank up the engine stuck out atone at-one side of the porch and was soon covered with Virginia creepers so the house looked like an everyday house No one would have thought it was an autohouso Tho last person In the world to think It would have boon Pilgaths second sec-ond wife Her naino was Arbutus Ann and she was a timid little thing and crawled under the bod every time It thundered Sho was so afraid of thun dor that ehe crawled under thu bod every time a wagon rumbled across tho Iwo Mile bridge and whew truf Pet was heavy nt fal time bin staid under the bed rnrmnnontly md Ill guth had to bring her meals to hi on a tray Last Wednesday at four oclock a terrillc thunder storm struck Betz vllle and Arbutus Ann went under the bcd Pilgath was in the barn but he started for the house on n run for he knew how frightened Arbutus Ann would be but when ho was half way to the house there was a tremendous stroke of lightning that almost blinded blind-ed him At that he sprinted harder than over although the rain war pouring down so that he could not sea < se-a yard in front of his nose He rat swiftly but In a few minutes he began be-gan to get scared for he had not reached the house and he let out a few more laps of speed And still he did not reach the house Then he was certainly frightened A very simple thing had happened The lightning had hit the chimney and had knocked off a brick and the brick had fallen on tho crank handle and had given It a turn which cranked dp the engine and the lightning had at the same instant burled itself In the storage battery filling it with electricity so that It began to spark regularly and explode the gasoline in the cylinders and the house had moved away from where it had been The house had an excellent engine and It was geared high It was geared to run about 50 miles an hum on the first speed As soon as Pllgatli realized this he doubled his speed for he was afraid the house might meet with an accident acci-dent He felt perfectly secure as to the wheels for it is harder to puncture punc-ture millstones than rubber tires but ho had an Inkling that a frame house traveling at 50 miles an hour should have some one at the steering wheel As soon as tho rain slackened a bit ho took a look around and he saw the house about 12 miles out of the prairie prai-rie revolving In circles and he started start-ed for It with his tongue hanging out but just before he reached it the house took a new tack and started south by west nt 50 miles an hour and in two minutes It was out of sight over Reynolds hill Pilgath said lie never was so proud of anything in his life as the way that autohouso took that hill on first speed When he got to the top of tho hill ho could only seen see-n cloud of dust In the southwest about 52 miles away Ho said that cloud of dust assured him that the storm had been merely local Pllgnth wonts to announce that if anyone finds a house running around loose with a wife under tho bed in the first bedroom nt the top of the stairs to the left as you go up that wife Is his Ho says any doubt on the subject may bo removed by mal Ing n sound like thunder HammerIng Hammer-Ing on a tin waiter will do If at the Bound the wife backs so far under the bed that she can only be reached with a broom there need bu no doubt that her name Is Arbutus Ann Gubb Tho finder will please feed her until called for Copyright 1000 by U G Chapman |