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Show 1 I ' A Line o' Tune cr Two ('Lord, what fools these mortals V- ' By B. L. T. The Purist's Primer. People refined Don't say "Those kind." T. M. H. "Be sure and come" Is verv bum. HAL BEP.IU. "Quite a few" Is rotten, too. H. C. "Like as if" Makes us sniff. The miners asked for a showdown, so Uncle Sam disclosed a handful of clubs. "That's good," said the miners, laying down a small pair of spades. The United States is so successful with Its mandates in America that it may consent, a Mule later, to take on Armenia. Ar-menia. A New Indocr Sport. Sir: If you need a new indoor amusement, amuse-ment, try a letter to any safety razor outfit, viz.: "Please send me a half dozen packages of your biades the extra sharp ones such as you furnish with the i-,Tr,i- nrininnllv " U 11 K. The viewpoint of Dr. Jacques Duval (interestingly set forth by Mr. Arlisst is that knowledge is more Important than tiie life of individual men. hers of the so-called human race. But even Duval Du-val is a sentimentalist. He believes that knowledge is important. Or the Frococity Which, Excludes the Piccociov.sness of tlic Precosh, So to Burble. (From the Minneapolis Tribune.) Possibly the most uncommonly precocious pre-cocious characteristics of Mr. l.evitski'R work lie in his emancipation from the most common characteristics of precocity. preco-city. No precocity is quite so precocious as that which prompts forgetf ulness of precociousness. One of Our Best Little Murmura. (From J. Storer Clouston's "Simon.") "It Is incredible:" he murmured. "How very interesting! he murmured. "That accounts for it," murmured Car-rington. Car-rington. "Oreat Scott!" murmured Cromarty. "God. It's empty!" he murmured. "Ood save us!" murmured M:o .Uis ter. "Great God!" murmured Cromarty. "Brilliant police you've got." ho murmured. mur-mured. "How very strange!" be murmured. One might almost gather, from tho remarks re-marks of certain senators, that the league of nations ta too large an idea for the United .States to grasp. We Aro Beginning to Hear Froin Iris's Friends. Sir: Iris to her fan: "Slim, silken bit of beauty. On your frail supports. How like myself You are." "Whaddayamenn, Iris, on your frail supports? W. F. M. Eawllug Him Out Proper. (IrTom the Iron River Reporter.) My husband, William Horns, published, the following notice: "Th:a Is to notify tho public that my wife luu left my bad and board without any Just cause or reason and that I will not bo rcpunsible for any debts contracted by her In my namo." He never owned a bed and as for board It would have been hardwood If 1 had not earned It myself. I sold my property prop-erty In norenre. Wis., to help pay his debts. Ask any ( the neighbors who 1 worked the most. St 01 be hns the nerve I to publish such a notice, when he knows he nsver was or will be able to pay his debts. -Mrs. Anna Horns. It transpires that many dry voters In Kentucky voted "No" thinking, the lxx-Iturton lxx-Iturton Ueader explains, that they were rotlng "No whisky." 'This Is more than likely. "No" Is the motto of the league for making virtue odious. When Its members see that word on a ballot thary automatically put a croaa beside It. The High Cost of Collecting. stir Arrnnl Inir tn si recently ttiitsllaillecl I monograph on I'nlted States IS gold pieces, the last specimen of the 1S?6 date offered nt a public coin Motion brought over lll'sO. and the mtnlare of several other years also is reaching h'gh figures. fig-ures. Now. as coin collectors nn't have Si gold pieces or cease tn be ruin'smal-isls. ruin'smal-isls. what are the mslorlty of them lo do? Would ten consider a protest on the II. C. I., justifiable In this rase? ONE OK 'KM. "I stand here ss the descendant of subject races." declared Heritor Walsh. And If Mr. WIIMama of Mtealselppl hnd had himself a little better In hand he might have recited "The Man With the Hoe." The Delirious Editor. (From the Havre, Mont., DeNenM ) Miss Hlrtel Is a fine housekeeper, knows how lo make u real heaven of home, can cook a 0004 meal, keep a houre clean, know! the laws of health, can mske a cranherrv pte, hues gossip and polities, docs not mix with IBS W. C. T. D. Is healthy and happv. In fact is n renl wife We cnnctatiilule the loth of them in the consummation of n real marriage. mar-riage. "Unhand Me. Villain!" Khe Swallowed Sir: "Will vou mirry nic7 lie beggrd. In ti e snt Eve Post. "Will jrouT'1 "I eh. I hadn't planned this." she gulped. Now. In my youth. 1 proposed i,i a dumber dum-ber of '"UOK women, hut none f them ever "KUlped." Just how Is it done? W. M. B. "I'xperleneed married man to work on farm "--Il'ikford nil. 1'reelsely why II tie ntore fitted than a benedict or a bachelor? Wo are US trlguiois to know. I Froiclntl Physics. ' iFrotn llo' Champaign News) William Shank was arrested Saturday nlffhi oti n charge of drunkonness. One empty bottle two-thirds full or a liquid was found In his poellgtft, Portentous Juxtaposition. sir packed witti apprehension are the sIkiis In the Memphis street oars: "Whit passengers please move for- ward. Safety first." SCOTTY. Tn the railway restaurant nt Ptttihnrg mm can get "strictly fresh, laid nearby eggs." ProRiioslri Is Bad. Sir: Nurse's entry on hospital chart; "tlabe lo bust 3:30 a. m." M . f, r. Oct tho Pnlmotorl (Vton ih'1 Urbane Courier.) When the ftrSI notes of the sonir came to our ears we were waiting lirathlesslv And we continued hreathlesa throughout tho evening. The silver dollar g iimv worth n trifle more an inetnl. tllless we'll sell our dollar, |