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Show IWMy Funniest J motoring Experience lo turn into saved a crash. II think lliey swore at me. Anyway, the air was thick as they passed. And no one returned my amiable irrin. My Introduction to the Ford. On March 17 wc decided to take a trip to grandmother's in our new Ford. H was the old Indv's birthday and we wanted to crct there early. Heavy ram had fallen the night before and the roada were muddv. When we were three miles out of town the Ford got stuck, and after fussing and poshing for an hour we gave up trying to make the car go. Finally father discovered that the Ford could run backwards. As the roads were too muddy and too narrow to turn around, we backed three miles into town to reach home. D. C. Laugh Was ou Fathor. BCy father had not been Overly patient with my small stupidities and near-accidents while learning to drive the new-car. new-car. He hud read all the directions on driving, and he always told me In an ex-asperatlngly ex-asperatlngly superior w-av just what 1 should have done that I had not. "V hy don't you drive yourself V I asked finally . "I'm going to," said he. Fut lie refused all chances to take the wheel under competent com-petent direction, t soon realised that he intended to get in some dav and drive off alone and I rather held my breath. One day it happened. The car hail been left In the lane Ivy the side of the house, and needed to be run about fifty vards in a straight line in order to get within its quartan for the night. I heard the moans of the starter, the whirr of the engine. en-gine. painful "chug" and silence. This three times. Then here came the ear: Galump. gaJunip. gaiump past the kitchen w indow. It entered the garage successfully and stopped. But the hack wheels were not uulte tar enough inside. Again the starter, the whirr of the engine, en-gine, and the rear wheels disappeared rapidly rap-idly much too rapidly from sight. We listened for the inevitable: a crash of glass then silence. After a little 1 went out to size up damages. dam-ages. Father was "sweating" profusely. There were no worso casualties than "a broken lamp, punctured by the handle of a lawn mower. T put it down to my eternal credit that I made no audible comment. C. E. S. Oiily a Trifle, But I have driven a roadster for some time. T am alwavs on the lookout for any unnatural un-natural sounds or clicks about the car. The other day T noticed a peculiar sera pine sound, which was noticeable especial when turning corners or traveling trav-eling o er rutty roads. The next morning morn-ing got busy and took the s:irago man out with me. Tie said he wouldn't tell iust what was the matter with the car. "but would take it down to the garage and fix it. The next day I stopped in to see if the car was done. After being informed that it was. T asked what was found to be the trouble. Tho mechanic explained that after looking the car over carefully and finding nothing wrong he finally opened up the compartment at the rear of the car and there found a bag of tire chains. Later I found out that one of the children had put the chains there because there was no more room in the toolbox. This had been the cause of the scraping which so annoyed me. R. S. F. Might Have Been Worse. 1 am not. as you might say. "mechanically "mechani-cally minded." I drive a car. it iy true, but I drive painstakingly, and 1 think out with care . beforehand just what I am going- to do next. Having- once decided, I find it difficult to change toy mind en route. As to machinery. 1 think in straight tines. This characteristic sometimes some-times gets me into difficulties. It did the other day. I was coming down State street, below Ninth South, and wished to stop in front of a house on the opposittc side the east side of the street. T figured that I would cross the road, turning and stop facing i north. I picked out a nice wide place in the road where t here was a drive wa v, saw that there were no cars Immediately Imminent, and started making a. slow, sweeping curve. It was too slow, evidentlv. for bv the time I had got as far as the car tracks an auto from the south, coming at a speedy rate, was uneomfortahlv near. I think as I said In straight lines. I had started to make that turn. Besides, I am not a "new women." I am used to the men drivers look in out for me. T expert that. Couldn't the man see what I was doing? I kept right on turning. And arrived broadside directly in front of my friends from the south" The eight of them y, Hod. Nothing but the presence of that drivowav for them An Uucrauky Ford. T learned to drive a Ford in the good old days before they boasted of self-starters. self-starters. She was an old l'ord. capricious and cranky or uncranky, as the notion struck her. I wanted to show off my I knowledge before my family, and, as they were all going to a picnic, I offered to drive them. I coa x cd the Ford to the gate and the Family climbed in. amid exclamations as to how nice it was to be. driven to the picnic, etc, ' "All aboard !" I cried, and turned the crank, hut. alas! this was one of her uncranky days, for. try as I might . 1 couldn't get her started. The family began be-gan to look at their watches and my face became hot, but all to no avail; so they clambered out. much to my chagrin. I sat on the gatepost staring savagely until they were nearly on! of sight, and then, wit hout any faith as to results. 1 wearily turned the crank, when lol she started wi th a roar, thus proving once more a Ford's contrariness, but triumphing, triumph-ing, nevertheless. M. P. |