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Show THE LAST PAIR Scene: Some desolate spot on this earth. Chaructcri: The last two survivor of world war, a pair named Stoopey and Droopey. Stoopey (as hand grenade goes over his heart) Hah! You missed that timet Droopey I got the fellow behind you. St'xipey There's nobody behind ms. Or behind you either. Thcy'v all been killed oft. Droopey Gosh! has It got down to that? Are we really the only two left? Stoopey Yep. Droopey Well, who won? Stoopey (sadly) It's still a tie. I guess you and I'll have to fight it out. Droopey Hold on a minute . . . we oughta think that over. If I win you're left all alone. If you win I'm all left all alone. There wouldn't be any fun in that Stoopey It might be an excellent Idea. That makes everything a total to-tal loss. The complete end of a total war, see? No more arguments, no more back talk, no more alliances, alli-ances, no more trouble with anybody. any-body. Droopey That would be terrible. Stoopey But it would be what we have been working toward all along! Droopey No; the winner would still have his hate left What would be do with that? Stoopey (thoughtfully That's the bard part A man would have to hate somebody. It would be part of his nature after all these years. Droopey Yeah. But there'd be nobody he could hate, except himself. him-self. You couldn't hate yourself. Stoopey There would be nothing else to do. And at this stage of hatreds it would be easy. Droopey There must be some way out. Let's compromise. Let's call it off. You and I as the last two survivors can then hate each other and be quite happy about it Stoopey (suspiciously) How do I know I could trust you? The first thing I know you might soften up and want to be friendly. Droopey There was a time when you wouldn't have thought that a bad idea. Stoopey 1 know, but this hate business has gone on so long it's become a habit. I'm an addict So are you. Droopey Maybe you're right O. K.l Stop worrying. If I give you my word to keep hating you 100 per cent I'll keep it. And I'll expect as much from you. (Wearily) Say, what was everybody fighting for, anyhow? I forget Stoopey A better world. Everybody Every-body was determined to get it if it took the last man. Droopey And it damned near did! Stoopey (looking around) Well, anyhow, we're near that new order, that new setup. Droopey Boy, you can have it! Capital gone, the economic system's gone, the bankers are gone, the critics crit-ics are gone, barriers are gone, frontiers fron-tiers are gone . . . everything. Stoopey (his eyes falling on something some-thing in the wreckage) Look. There's part of a broadcasting set over there. With just you and I left it's going to be awfully lonesome. We could put it together and still have the radio. Droopey What! and listen to EACH OTHER! (He shoots Stoopey, who doesn't seem to care much.) IS THERE NO LIMIT "God Bless America" is a pretty fine patriotic number, and it has become be-come the American song of the crisis, cri-sis, but something should be done to protect it in the clinches. Night club comics sing it immediately following fol-lowing pretty raw Interludes, masters mas-ters of ceremony call for it after their most risque moments, and, believe be-lieve it or not, in one Broadway picture and vaudeville house a fat, coarse, faded female blues shouter swings into it with a comedian, after they have both been giving a club-smoker club-smoker atmosphere to the proceedings. proceed-ings. And with an enormous American Amer-ican flag as their backdrop! It may be too much to expect them to see anything wrong about it, but isn't it time the audience started throwing things? WITHOUT GAS MASKS "Hitler and Molotov Talk for Three Hours." Headline. And they promised there would be no gas warfare this time! Elmer Twitchell saw a friend of his going downtown the other night with his wife, his wife's mother and his wife's two sisters. "Under convoy," con-voy," he muttered. Mr. Green and Mr. Lewis want a labor peace no matter who gets hurt at it |