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Show THE YOUNG SMAKT WORLD. A certain poor newspaper man is Messed with a family ronaistini; mainly of one spoiled small hoy, oged years, with self, wife anil an indulgent uncle as unimportant auxiliaries, sajs tlio St. Louis Ilrpuhlir. The small boy dislikes to lie thwarted in his infantile in-fantile plans, mid puts forth from time, to time various laMettlOtM calculated li warn other inctiiliers of the household that their room is much more acceptable than their company. ICxperience lias taught him that when pupa is in a hurry to go down town, or when inaiumu wants to waah, or uncle feed bis horse, lie is expected to amuse himself. him-self. Hence when his little plans for mischief mis-chief are thwarted he relieves himself as follows: ''Papa, tro down town!" "Mamma, KO wash!'' "I'ukic, go feed horse!" Tho friend of a tittle girl who resides on San Jose avenue, says the Ban Frnucisco Chronicle, has a baby sister, and she was Grieved because she hud none. Vexed at the yawning dlecropoucy, she sought her mother and indulged In the following conversation: con-versation: "We haven't got a baby, mamma, have we?" "No, my dear, we haven't," replied mamma, "You're the only baby we want." "Could we have a baby if we wanted to?" persisted the inquliitor. "Well, my child, I think we could," confessed con-fessed the mother. What followed startled the matron. Looking Look-ing into her mamma's faee with n radiant expectancy and anxiety, tho little one itM: "Let's!" "Tommy had been unusually naughty that day and his mother had reproved him a dozen times, including once or twice wilh a slipper, but he was bad once again and the took him in hand once more ' Oh, Tommy, Tommy," she pleaded, wilh tears in her eyes, "don't you want to be a good little boy and go to heaven whin you die?" "Yes, mamma," ho replied, itubboruly, "but not this afternoon." v Karl was a little out of sort, and, bring tireil with u loug day's play, had been re-UC8ted re-UC8ted by his mother to go to bed. As he lingered she gently Insisted, and before leaving him asked him to say his prayers. "Oh, what's tho use of praying''' said Karl fretfully. "God don't answer prayers." "Why, Karl!" was the surprised response. "Well, he doesn't," insisted Karl. "I've I been praying and praying for him to make you a good-natured mother, and you are as eross as fury !" A little girl In a child's school the .other day, on being asked by the examiner, "Who was Moses:'" l onlldeutly answered: "The son of Phat aoh'i daughter." "So, no!" corrected the teacher. "Pharaoh's "Phara-oh's daughter it was who discovered Moses J In the bulrushes." "Tea, mum," answered the enild, with a significant (mile, "so she said." Teacher What is the gender of star? Boy Masculine. Teacher What is the gender of meteor? Hoy Feminine. Teacher Hut why do you make them of different genders?" Boy Because one U the sun and the oth-er'e oth-er'e a darter. Teacher Willie Jones may put the line, "There is a pleasure iu the pathless woods,'' in language of his own choice. Willie Jones Them's lots of fun in the bushes. Bertha's mother saw lit to punish her for some, liitle naughtincsss. After n minute the little girl sobbed out, "Well, mammu, that hurt; you whipped me right where there weren't any bones.'' e Fond mamma (anxiously) I saw you playiug With that new boy across the street. is be a good hoy? l'oung Hopeful Ves, rcg'lar chump. |