Salt Lake Times | 1891-01-14 | Page 4 | Nineteenth Century Humor

NINETEENTH CENTURY HUMOR. The lawyer believes in "millions for defense," aud tho same amount for prosecution. Puek. If Diogenes had lived today he'would have solved tho honest-man problem by buying a mirror. Milwaukee Sentinel. Sen-tinel. There is one very pleasant feature about a sleigh ride on a cold night and t"tt is the arrival home. Norrii-own Norrii-own II raid. " nat a recherche sort of affliction you have," said Goodword to the man with a boil. "8uoh a swell giithering!" New York World, A touch of love makes the most mat-ter-of fact man a poet, or, what amounts to the same thing, makes him think be is a poet. Indianapolis Journal. Jour-nal. Disappointment first comes In life to the baby who has a tin horu given to him for a present, and tlmn finds he hasn't wind enough to blow it. Somer-ville Somer-ville Journal. "Oh, I'm so disappointed! Henry firomised me a sealskin this winter; but ie didn't get it." I don't wonder you feel bad. Hope defurred raaketh the heartsick." Puck. "I'd have you know I was well brought up!" exclaimed the small man to tbe large disputant. "That may be," replied the latter, "but you were not brought up far." Harpor's Bazar. He Didn't you regard the medium as a very pretty girl She Her face was certainly comely enough, but the shades she called up didn't match ber complexion. New York Herald. An eminent surgeon says that with four cuts and a few stitches he can alter a man's face so bis own mother would not know him. That's nothing. Any newspaper in this country can do that much, with only one cut. Washiugtod Star.