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Show 11 THE SALT LAKE TIMES, SATURDAY EVENING, MAY 3, 1890. 3 OUR BOARDING HOUSE. The Inhabitants Hold a Meeting and Promulgate a Declaration of Bights. THEY WILL STAND IT NO LONGEB. The Stained Glass Man Bushes to the Eescue With His Lit-tle Document, "There will he a meet.ng of the boarders after supper," remarked the lawyer as the crowd sat around the tablo trying to satisfy the cravings of the inner mau. "Where?" said tha railroad con-ductor between a mouthful of very poorly 'constructed corned beef hash. "Up in my room," replied the lawyer. "Pass the word around will you," and it was passed. Could the proprietor, the steward, tho clerk or the cook have gazed upon the group that assembled and heard the language used they would have prob-ably felt much the samo as George III did in the days of the revolution. "Fellow sufferers" remarked the law-yer "we meet here on this occasion to protest agaiust the regime of g that has been adopted by the proprietors of the caravansary. I for one am tired of this eternal monotony. Instead of green peas we get canned corn and very ordinary corn at that. In lien of roast beef red, rare aud juicy, we are served with a leathery substance that is impossible to chew, let alone digest." "Yes, and all the pudding we get is second-han- d nee," remarked tho con-ductor.' .'..- - "And we don't see a deoeut bowl of soup once a year," said the gas man. "And the beans are of tho vintage of 1886," chimed in the violinist. "And the potatoes aro two years old," ejaculated tho artist on stained glass windows. - "And the butter ought to have its whiskers dyed ": warbled the commer-cial agent. "Well," resumed the 'lawyer, "what shall we do? Shall we be thus imposed upon or shall we rise up in our might and command a halt? I walk on the market day after day aud see new asparagus for sale cheap. . At the tablo my eyes rest upon succotash of uncertain age. I see juicy ripe strawberries exhibited for barter and am compelled to feed ou boiled rice. When my appetite has bocn excited by tho sight of a juicy porterhouse I am compelled to gorge myself with cold boiled ham. When I dream of celery I am treated to last year's onions sliced in venegar." "Yes," said the gas man, "and when I yearn for chicken I get liver. When I think of mountain trout I get salt cod. And the soup" "Ah, the soup," echoed the crowd. "Yes," broke in tho violinist, "and when I think of the goodies I got down in Kentucky It makes me sadjl In place of cucumbers I get "old chow-cow- . When I long for some sirloin I got fried mush. When I dream of baked apples I get stewed prunes, and if my taste craves strawberry shortcake what do I get? I get- -" "Nothing!" chorused the crowd. "Ah," said the conductor, "how true it is. When I want pickled young beets I got boiled turnips. When iny soul longs for salad they serve onion slaw. When I crave cabbage I get " "Say no more," shrieked the stained glass artist. "Say no more, I repeat. We will rebel. Here is the document which we will submit. .Listen while I read," aud without further ado he be- - gan: When in the course of humaii events it be-comes necessary for a lot of hungry people to get up and kick on the Dili of fare, a decent respect for the opinions of mankind who are better fed than we, compels us to declare in nonpareil boldface the causes which lead up to the protest. We hold these truths to be self evident that all men are created equal; that they are en-dowed by their Creator with certain lnalien-ubl- e rights and that chief among them Is the right to something to eat. The present landlord of this hashhouse has trampled on these rights and we can stand it no longer. He has refused to give us tho common things that the market affords. The coffee is so weak it has to come in on crutches, and the soup has to be prorped up. The cook doesn't know the difference be-tween a biscuit and a billiard ball, and as he which we do not un-derstand, talks in a foreign tongue it is of no use to kick to him. Now therefore, we the boarders in conven-tion assembled, prompted by a yearning e for something edible do declare that the following articles must be added to the ema-ciated menu at once. First-N- ew potatoes, peas and a few chunks of asparagus. Second-Cele- ry, young onions and a few to-matoes fnot canned.) Third The beefsteak must be from a point at least eighteen inches In rear of the horns. Fomth-- We positively refuse to eat mutton from a sheep over nine years of age. Fifth We Insist that the bill ot fare shall be changed at least once per month. Sixth-Butter- as a dinner beverage w 11 not be allowed except when churned within thSevemh-T- he steward shall be compelled to eat dinner with the regular boarders In order tb.it he may know what to do, being guided by their expressions and having an opportunity to see how it is himself. And for the better protection of ourselves we mutually pledge our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor and vow by the leapimi; John Rogers that we will jump our board bills 11 things don't change at once. "Let me be the John Hancock of the delegation," said the lawyer. "And I the Ben Franklin," said the jras man. "And I will act as Charles Carroll of Carrollton," said the violinist. "And I will be the Robert Treat Paine." said the conductor. "And I the Robert Morris," said the aS"Aiid I the Benjamin Rush," said the stained glass man. Then they adjourned. f IHTHBCNtY ' HirSChlTMin S Shoe House in Salt Lais. That tarries a Full line orsirongit Carroll's Gentlemen's Fine Shoes for Wear, " 1 Sty! md Fit, Excel ill Other Mites ' I --Til W V"" We take the had " ;t!emr, vJ) .1 .1. 1 V. ) mid l..nlif ' . Mumh, Call and let us show you our lots in Central Park. $'223 each. Easv terms. De Witt B. Lowe &"Co., 60 West Second South street. Martin Schmidt, "the" tailor, has just received his second shipment of spring woolens.. Call and examine his stock in rooms 200, 201, 202, and 203, Progress building. Lots in Central Park, $225 to $400 each; cash, balance at 8per cent. DeWitt B. Lowe & Co., 06 West 2nd South street. Notice ot Removal. Our patrons will please take notice that tho Salt Lake City Brewing Co.'s city office has been removed to ""The Tivoli" opposite the Walker House. Jacob Mokitz. Call and let us show you our lots in Central Park, $225 each. Easy terms. De Witt B. Lowe & Co., 66 West Second South street. You can find the largest variety of goods in the city at tho Variety Hall, 54 West Second South. A full line of filled chains at David son, Leysomfc McCuue's. All latest improved machinery at Em-pire Steam Laundry, 21 Commercial street. Telephone 04. Call and let us show you our lots in Central Park, $225 each. Easy terms. De Witt B. Lowe & Co., 66 West Second South street. We are sole agents for the Miller & Christy hats. Bast-Marsha- Mer. Co. 143 Main street. psfelj LADIESan J CIiiLDREN. I.verjr Pair iraii-- nlrl f I'"'-Ir- rl w(lrrltun In j Wearing. We Import and Control t Is Brand. j The reliable gasoline stove, absolutely safe, for stile ouly at tlie Salt Lake Hardware Co. Fresh fruits, vegetables and poultry can always be had at Fred G. Lyn-berg'- No. 53 E. 1st S. St. Call ami let us show you our lots in Central Park, $225 each. Easy terms. Db Witt B. Lowk & Co.. 66 West Second South street. Tho Variety Hall, 54 West Second South, keep everything yon want. Gentlemen should leave their orders for custom shirts at Bast-Maksha- Mer. Co. 143 Main street. . Lots in Central Park, $225 to $400 each; cash, balance at 8 per cent DeWitt B. Lowe ic Co., 66 West 2nd South street. "" Troy I Troy Steam I Celebrated Troy Steam Laumlnr I Telephone 102- - UlMam St. The Troy Steam Laundry guaratees excellence of work and its patrons promptness of delivery. 142 Main street. Telephone 192. Bargains in every line of furniture at Barratt Bros. For line staple and fancy groceries, No. 53 1st S. to Fred G. Lynberg's, go Parties who arebuildingwouldw.se y incur the small present expense of p ln their steam or hot water piping. Onfv when they have decided to coiu-nlet- e the system and have had it put m due 3 the final and principal payment We should be pleased to make contracts that the total cost would on this basis so in the city is the A a-- r The only place South, for ety Hall, 54 West Second bargains. Call and sec Central Park 225 to W00 each, ulrter cash, balance 8 per cent. one q DnWrrr B. Lowe & Co., 66 West 2nd South street. Gold. Bilvwand nickle pTating of all kinds done with neatness and dispatch So Manufacturing company, a the Uy South street. 61 East Third ' Attention Colorado! There will be a regular meeting of Colorado association on Monday een-ia- g Mav5 at Xo. 5. West Second South street. All members are re-quested to attend as business of import-ance is expected to come up. H. V. A. Fehgi-sox- , . Secretary. a, I To lay the dust promptly, g'.-- t a sprinkling nozzle whieh throws eithera spray or a solid stream as desired. j Then for a lawn sprinkler, what can be more efheh-n- t than one of our ; sprinkling stand or nnre inexpensive than our ground sprinkler. Salt Lake CossrKLCTioji Co. j 61 First East street ' Park J225 tci $400 each, I quaver cash, balanceat per cent. one DeWitt B. Lowe & Co., 66 West 2nd South street. KStreet Sundry work called for and delivered daily. To Hotel Ooeats and Toartata Wishing to make investments in Salt Lake property will do well to sec Hamm & Scott, real estate and financial agents, basement Walker house, before buying. PioturescLue Eegions , Vicinity of Salt Lase.. -- l ;LOEIOUS POSSIBILITIES. ;ption of Its Many Betties- -i Drive-- Au tractive Most DeligWful Summer Eesort. eBforthe Bait Lake Times. a Lake has in Us immediate wonderful variety of natural and pleasure resorts is an ' but one which cannot too Ul and Strangers here every day. aud the "tlfov the beauties of iu chosen home the sooner eel settled and satisfied at 5 their lot amongst surround-Twhic- li tboy need not be bat can Justly ho Vid; t'he future development is almost limitless, "(dorado man describes it as Leulville and Manitou in one, , jllc features being derived L.nt mines at Park City, only iir miles distant by rail, fthe most delightful near-b- y ,ad probably almost unknown ,ads of Salt Lake's new ci tit-he City Creek canj'on, whence he mountain stream bringing us W sparkling water. This creek ay up by that snowy cone with ne trees on it, which you see far L.re back of the north bench, we take a buggy and drive up von. Our way leads through le Gate, then quickly turn-- L the narrow cartyon hose sides are lined with neat ;s in a couple of minutes we c mouth of the canyon and are - a smooth road with the creek down over the boulders at our orations were not carried on so close to the stream. Away we go further up, and soon tho gleaming masses of snow, which we saw from tho city, begin to look close at hand. The road grows somewhat rocky, and wo begin to question the advisability of going further.' We have heard of the falls and proposed on setting out to see them before turning back. We feel like Stanley in Africa and perhaps incurred as much personal danger. So we keep on. Suddenly the roar of falling waters breaks upon our hearing, and in a few more hundred yards we turn a corner aud there meets our view a charming succession of falls. Not indeed a great height, but well worth coming to see. "What a charming spot to linger on in solitude," suggests my companion. "How one can shut out and forget the busy world. Surrounded here by naught but the sublime features of primeval nature far away from the jarring influences of niau's " What ho might havo finished will never be known, for suddenly there came borne upon the mountain breezes: She's my An-ni- I'm her Joe. She's my Nanny, I'm her beau. Soon we'll mar-ee- , Never to part. "Oh, gracious!" wo both cried, "arc even these rocky glens echoing that everlasting refrain." "Hullo, there! Say, how far is it from town" "Seven miles." "Can we get any farther with a buggy?" "Yes, right up top of the divide about ten miles." "How high is it here?" "Over 6000 feet." "Thanks." We lingered awhile by the spray of the tumbling waters, gathering moss and water cresses, and reluctantly turned our '. horse's heads citywards. Forty-fiv- e minutes later wo were again passing under the Eagle Gate, having pondered on the way down on the glorious possibilities of this delightful canyon when the authorities shall have time to make it what it most surely can "ne change from the tmsy street be made. F. T. iu but a few minutes ago is re-i- On either side rise the i the canyon 150 feet high, and up on the north side is the hick forms so conspicuous an rom all parts of the city, rade of the road is evidence of cd with which the waters come j down, if the pull on our collar did not ' show it. The sides of the canyon are green fly. Everywhere are clusters Id desert flowers bursting iroups of youngsters with picnic in their hand and knots of other no we pass, all of them heading hady recesses higher up. Clearly enot new comere. This can-mol- d story to them, but every ts beauties the rushing waters, intain sides, and the wild flowers fresh joy. tic mind could easily find elo-j- r a reverie, and even to such a (1 case as the writer the scene lo these lines: .. ; t the turn runs down t ; be uplands brown. . :., Wshts of 'the snow clad range, ncHlyne drawn from the stifling town reckoned a fair exchange, las! the poetic dream is rudely y a horrible stench striking the y senses, aud a turn in the road avast heap of stable manure in of decay, while scattered about of rubbish of every kind tin d clothes, stinking bones, bro- - ties. Here, in fact, is a public md not an old one either, for f this is of recent date. I explained to my companion, i visitor, is set aside as a park pleasure of the citizens. The the public dump was 6U11 thick uostrils when wo reached . a there the formerly beautiful sides of the canyon aro by hideous gravel pits upon von now men arc at work still increasing tho desl ruction of beauty. ntly we reach at a distance, of ? from the Eagle Gate, a quaint tiling nestling among the trees Hie rushing water's edge. This ast permanent habitation. ' beyond is an old watcnnill, for-wiic-like everything else, ' by in Young, but gone the way all Us go sooner or later burned, wnt more and we are at the ""'ks where the city supply up on the left we see the rnouu-- f Marred by the cuttings made ?ipe liuo leading to the capitol above. 'lie road begins to rise very rap-'- l in some soft places is badly fluently by heavy traffic. Soon less of these wagons is asccr-;- j we reach a point where lime "t'ing quarried out of the moun-l,- ! Md a party of workmen have i'- It docs seem a pity that for l;of this lime, which is so plen-aiau- y other places near the city, !'k should be going on here. mi upward we go, and at about from the city the waters of k rush over a dam which has nstructed to turn them into the ' niU pipe line. Wonder how la'er is going down! Here is a to estimate. ect across, six inches deep. fur miles an hour. Result, m'llion gallons every twenty-l,rs- ! Reader, make a note of reference later on in the you are cursing 'it has scribbled on the side of ,(1en house covering the head- - hnaclunBe right away, ,"Kh w e do have to borrow t Inst bea the clods rain today, when the sun shines tomorrow. ;, Person of weak intellect Viad J5' been overcome by the' dis- - so much of the precious fluid Ml by we come to a cabin which S a claim, and sure enough there 'ypical pioneer, t'he hour is uou, but he reclines at full ,n a lied, which seems to be the 11 article of furniture on the nqtiiry, wo learn that he has "P 100 acres, which no one would "grudgo him if bis domestic op- - A MIMNU SW1XDLKH. Dr. HU'key Turns a Ul a Trick In J(ew York York City. Sav Fraxcisco, May 8 Detective Curtin of this city has jilst concluded a a case involving an exposure of a gigan- tic rascality, perpetrated through the successful operation of a refined' couti-deuc- e cranio. The operator was Dr. W. W. Hioken. whoso residence is in Oakland, Cala. The history of his scheme lias many interesting details. He was employed by Seuator Sharon in tho Coinstoek during tho six-ties as a spy to givo advance informa-tion of the output from day to day at the mines, and thus enable' the senator to successfully control the stoek market in San Francisco. In 1&S1 Hickev or-ganized tho Ithaca Consolidated 'Gold and Silver Mining company, with a de-clared capital of Wj.UOO.OOO,' divided into 600,000 shares at S10 per share, Ho had a few worthless "pocket mines" in Marieopo. Ariz., and advertised that they were wonderful placers of rich promise. In 1881 ho went cast, taking with him begus letters of introduction to prominent capitalists, and also sev-eral rich pieces of ore supposed to have been taken from the Maricopa mines tit Brighton. 111. Hickey met 11. S. Merrill, one of tho most prominent merchants of that city, and slopped at his house. During a spell of --sickness ho managed to get into the good graces of the family and after booming the Maricopa mine's to their fullest extent, hu induced Mer-rill to take S0O shares of slock at IO0 per share. He next went to New York, whero he had several acquaintances. Through them he succeeded in getting introduced to George M. Thomas, tho capitalist. He told the latter that he had como from tho castas president of the Ithica Consolidated Gold and Silver Mining company, and that many eastern cap-italists were interested in the enter-prise. He assured them that he was not at all particular about disposing of any stock. It was selliug at a premium in San Francisco. Thomas was easily hoodwinked by Hickey, aud the result was that he ag'rced to 'take 2000 shares and paid $4i00 down in part pay-ment. Subsequently Thomas became suspicious of the good intentions of Hickey and, together with Mr. Mer-rill, came to San Francisco. Here they discovered the mines were a myth, that Dr. Hickey was a professional confi-dence operator, aud thev had no hope of getting their money hack, so, since Hickey did not possess any property or money thev wero compelled to leave, sadder aud wiser men, with the know-ledge that they had becu successfully "done." The researches of the detec-tives confirmed the story aud they had the trip for nothing. WRITTEN TELEGRArilVJ A Machine Which Pecs a Messago in Regular English Cal- - igraphy. j i A WOHDIHTUL MIRAGE IN OHIO- - i Mushroom Bureau Electricity for Tire Lighting-Natu- ral Calcimine Spring Poets. One of the most unique inventions of tlio day is being exhibited in this city, namely, a telegraph which gives the message in the handwriting of the send-er instead of in dots and dashes. The instrument is small and compact, takes up less room than a telephone, uud, it is cluimed, lias many advantages over the latter, the most important being that after to parties communicate with each other they have a written record in their own handwritings of tho corre-spondence. The instrument is placed upon a stand or desk, and tho only part of it visible are a fountain pen, a stylus ' attached to tho box and a narrow strip of paper. The stylus is takeu up, and tho act draws tho attention of the central office. The operator writes the number of the instrument of the persou with whom lie desires to communicate. He is connected and the narrow strip of paper begins moving. The stylus is in reality the means of transmitting the niesjage. It is attached to the apparatus Mow and as it is moved in the making of loops and lines of tho leticrs in breaks and reeon- - nects currents, carrying tlio little foiin- - tain pen to make the Identical characters on tho strip of paper before him and also causing tho pen of the receiver's instru-ment to record tho same characters. When tho receiver wishes to reply he simply takes up his stylus and writes while tho other remains quiet. The instrument U designed to either take the place of the telephone or to work in addition to it. It Is cheier, be-ing let out at an annual rental, and, like tho telephone, connected with cen-tral ofilee. Although prolmbly most use-ful for use in cities, tests have demon-strated its practicability for interurban use, one message having been accurately recorded 800 wiles away, and going W miles over an ordinary wire with a single battery. Now Orleans Picayune. To Kitlngulah fir nn Slilliboard. A novel and most effective uuimtui for extinguishing lire In ships' holds and for rapidly ventilating the holds In emergencies has been brought out in England. The cif ntifln bum of the In-vention is the fact of carbonic oxide gas being Inimical to couibusti Fire is extinguished In the ship's hold by tlm apparatus Idling it rapidly with fumes extracted from the boiler funnel, and cooled and punned on their way to the hold, venu heiug left for the expulaion of fresh air contained in tho bold. The fumes are injected witli such rapidity as to produce an outflow through all vents aud crevices in the hold aud thus pre-vent the ingress of fresh air, which would otherwise occur. New Orleans i'lea-Jun- e. j BEVUNU THt SEAS. RkTnl lh r la mLM tr.irH. Hrynwl llils worM tti.- - rUii tuutMr kM S slin Uijr nvjrrtie mil, wt IsJ U rurU j Ami Htf ,M.iJ h mn tn h"o !jt Ttw vorM t sit ttniama la as, lu Un ! fcm lvri'f fw ITCi Id, mm lu rufflw mulutiukdms Tyjfttut UhhimiiJ tkj rtiUi-tioi- On IhUif n ..w ; lb lUl sw strwuna la onm vita our our kibwiiuiil Mn Ar porlhia of U lJhl equwa. Our lr,f Is hl.l In (luotus or mUMumm; Wr am Bt sll f w tlts.lt W fool, St UuiflS. whs nrrvr ufM nr Thins sua or basrw our tptnts slwuU to niluJ. W sik s4 so, iwl Is II IhsrW. UreaiiM ! B4 srB, shsul t4 mt W tHwrtl-Uiu- u'rt mumt Ur, utm u(tsa I.U IVun tby fad Ulih tb lboua sf mt sftal b. Tbs ma at 0l villi tUin r ImrauhaV And oit llvm ha hrtJrth bus 4.iH Brusd Ilia thrs lum sonthar wafU, ilnjriHui this lif titan ilsoas ssainrr Inaol .Jigrauia t'Arwnnrad la h (itissvas I'Wajaai M I raja In Oil In. A remarkable instance of tho atmos-pheric effect known as tnlrngo was wit-nessed at Ashland, O., on March li. It npcared about 4 o'clock in the western heavens, and was a clear and well de-fined picture of a city, with all its build-ings so distinctly visible that their differ-ent styles could be easily distinxuished. Owing to the great distance of tho objects thus reflected, however, the steeples of the churches and the walls of the bourns were slightly inclined. The image was, of course, inverted, but was life sized, for the reflection enormously tnagnlllod the picture, though leaving itexcpiisitely sharp, thus causing it to present a re-markably realistic appearance of a large and populous city suspended lu the air, or falling through it, for an amnting feature of tho phenomena was that, while tho city itself was so clearly de-fined, there was no reflection whatever of the ground on which it stood. Phila-delphia Times. How atsga Fir la Mail. Ice and water are represented by strips ef white and colored canvas. The vapor-ous effect of clouds in motion is repre-sented by gauze and ptunti'd clouds. This has lieen improved Uhjii by steam under the singe. The conflagra-tions ou the stage are not as serioua as they look. The thick volumes of smoke aro produced by burning a powder called lyeopodlum in a pan. Dlrectioi. is given to the smoke by the use of a large tal-lows. A glare of 'I"1" ''Kbt I" thrown upon it through crimson glasses, w hich, through jugged rents and openings, gives a lurid glow to the fumes. Tliu falling of beams aud the clanging of India heighten the illusion. I'hiladi-lphit- t Times, A Winning Iluutl, Said a well known sporting man to a Louisville Commercial reporter: "I saw a very funny thing happen in a big game of poker the other night. "A cotterio of half a dozen choice spirits had their legs under the tablo and wo were playing a stiff game. Great stacks of reds aud blues were in front of every-one, and full v $1,000 worth of chips were on the board. A certain well known colonel of the city happened into tho room, and being pressed to it by tho crowd took a seat in the gamo. Tho old fellow had becu making a round of it and was in that mellow state of semi-stupo- r which dawns over a fellow alter the corks have been popping. In other words, he was loaded; but ho sat down anyway and bought $100 worth of chips. Only a few hands had been dealt when the colonel's head sank softly down on his chest, his heavy eyelids closed, and he was fast asleep. .When another hand had been dealt one of the players 'skimmed' his cards carefully, and discovered an ace king high flush of red, throbbing, living hearts, lie reached across the table and gave the colonel a dig iu the ribs. 'Wako up,' said lie, 'wake up and play your cards.' The colonel finally roused up, picked up his hand in a jumbled, careless fashion, and came iu. The gentleman with the flush raised, and so did the colonel, and so on until every dollar before each had gone to swell a prodi-giously big pot. The boys hated to see the colonel betting away in that maud-lin way. They pitied hill). They knew he was throwing his monev at the birds. 'How many cards?" said the dealer. Thump, thump, tin; fists of tho two .men hit the table. They were both pat. It was a show down then, and the drowsy colonel spread out upon the board a q'ieen-full- , and the boys shoved him the pot; he was too drunk to reach for it. The laugh was on the other player, and he says it is the first time he ever wakened aman up to make him play his hand, and ho swears it will be the'last." IjmIIm' Walkliif Club. A letter in a Ixmdon newspaper sug-gests tho formation of a Udies' walking association, by means of which lailies who are fond of walking and unable to ilnd friends of like tastes to join their expeditious may bo provided with con-genial companionship. Tho idea is a good one, for there Is no doubt that com-paratively fow women appreciate the great lieiiefll of walking exrt-is- i or the liiiense pleasure to bo derived from It girls who wiH spend an entire day at lawn tennis or fox hunting, or a long night dancing at a ball, will profras themselves unequal to a six mile stretch by sea and stream. Lady's 1'icUirlal. A Mushroom lluiaaa. The census bureau sprang up in the night like a gigantic mushroom. When Mr. Porter wasappointed sii'rintendtint a few months ago it was represented by a single individual known in the Interior department as the "census clerk." Now it has 2,000 employes in the olllnes here, and 45,000 men will soon Im in tho field, not counting the thousands of ss.'cial agents. It will spend on paper and printing $700,000, and for other expenses nearly ti.OOO.OOU more for it costs ulxmt ten cents a bead for every man, woman aud child to take tho census of a people. Finally, it will publish twenty-fiv- e vol urnes, and then, like a Mushroom, it will go out of existence, leaving not a trace behind save one solitary census clerk sitting at a desk in the department of the interior, until tho year 1100 shall arrive and another census shall bo In order. Then the mushroom will sprout again. Waabington Letter. (;untiantlnn ul I'laiars. leading men and women In suprriol companies generally recrive from 175 tc old men and women, from 40 tu $50; juvenilis and comedians, from $10 to $'W; specialty and character actors, from $'S0 to $100. The common run of players get about $15 or $10, thrir sea-son bring In the neighborhood of forty weeks. They lead precarious lives and are opt to bo more or has in debt. An-other couijiensation Is the profound sat-isfaction, the positive delight, that all players feel, as a rule. In their profession. New York Commercial Adertiei. How to Keep Husbands Home. Life. Every woman is at some time brought faco to faco with tho great problem of how to keep her husband and a home. The d women aro averse to using a broom stick for this purpose. The brave, loving women, who are the bulwarks of our homes, have at last discovered a means to do this without recourse to the violence from which every true women instinctively shrinks. When your poor husband's eotiee or tea, have ready a sugar bowl full of mor-phine, and'put two or threo of in his cup. Although ho may havo announced his attention of going to his club or tho lodge, he will be very apt to change his mind, and if you pur-sue this course for a mouth or sohiwt habits will be entirely changed. Llchtlng tlio Flra by Klactrlrlty. Electricity has stepped in mercifully to alleviuto the miseries of the early riser on dark winter mornings. An arrange-ment has been devised by which a con-nection Is mado lielween the room clock and the stove. The clock indicator lawt over night to any required hour, and when the hour band reaches that time in the morning an electric connection is established will) the stove, which h then lighted by an elwrtric park. Tho sleeper in the mean time is not dUturbrd. As the tempenitur- - of the room lise. bow-eve-it is indicated by a small thermo-stat, and when it has reached a point of summerlike comfort an alarm i. sounded. The sleeper, of cours.-- , is awakened, but the act of jumping out of bed has now no terrors for him, and th morning ablutions are performed without a shud der. New York Sun. Curluua Witch Suparatllluaa, In V'M. dtirbi;; the witch recution in New England, a dog exhibited such: strange symptoms of affliction tliut he was lielievtd to have been r.ddon by warhx'k.niid be was accordingly hanged. SnuiJa, (lies, mice, ant, caterpillar and other obnoxious s have bwn sim-ilarly proceeded against and condemned to various puimbmerita, mostly iniw :cli courts. And, stranger still. obj'-ct- s bue suffered the sum fate. All the Year liouwi. Eugene Field. Eugene Field is almost entirely bald. He has a long and rather humorous faco, is an accomplish mimic, and hails from Chicago. Ho aud Henry Dixey were for a time great chums, and many of the applauded things in "Adonis'' were gratuitous contributions of Mr. Field's. He writes in a very small and accutate band, forming each letter with precision and distinctness, and lie u.-- enormous sheets of white paper ior his social correspondence. The effect of a few cramped and labored lines in the middle of the sheet of paper, big enough ' to wrap a box of cigars in, israthci odd, I but the letter is usually worth keeping and if it is signed by the i name of Eugene Field. James 1'ayn, tb novelet. a fcood ntory of two mechanics, oteinearJ In London, Laving the uit 'ii.! con-versation on baldnes liiat he s r lut-l;!i--d to. They were talking of some B'J-v- , rliyturnl of bul'ii. i for th hair, and one of them siii J lo the oth. r: "Uul-a.'- n be Mowed! Do you u;poe Trice Urt and the Luke Cauibridv would j be both bald at I "a.elk if woiu--y could aave 'em' Cliatti-r- . Xntnral f itlr lmln. There is within a few miles of Hazel Grevn, ICy., a bank of clay that luukc a very auperior calcimine when devolved In water, and if railroad was running to the pla-.- it could doubtiei be made very profitable. We bav vn a wal: washed ith tbi clay three or four year ao. and it is as good today u when first put on. It will lie a good thing for some man whenever railroads come near " enough to furnish transportation.- - U la Trt f,rii.j rou. Bcriblilcr I bate here a little pM-u- . that I should like you to tie to pmJMiin;,' it during the .re-n- . spring. I call it "A Mat Uy." Editor (g'jing to the t H.l.ojic IMlo, Central sution! Bend the p.itrol wa0-.,i-i up i re. There's a man dUur.-in-g the public peace, her bllcr Why, what do you mean? Editor Haven't you been creating a melee? A uierica. Home t that the of chivalry k j past. Tuea:of elm airy U in v r at 44 l.ng a tin-r- U a ttr-- x g left unr!-dre.- -d on earth, nr. 1 man or woman IcftMsaj.-- I id re'!r., tUtwrong. or spend my li.V i i th a'.!'"-J't.- Rio Grande western Hj. SCENIC LIS E 0 F T I! E Yi OU LI) t'orrtat Timetable In rTr1 frxntad fer Ui 4, IW. BAtr MUSI THAIS). - .t iyr- - A'.uuera t tff Lpr ijff m s.tn a m ) p n. 4mn l"- - '' " ' " f w- - M ,it I.AAR "1 7 p 0. Amva ! Apat. m'wVftnin J wjio: I Mja i ." f- fm 7 i V m., A- -f j"'IM f i '' P " Arnta " f :.,'ii.SJ; Wtf HdtsU rK.tt. ?4rss i uti. j Cxifa tn-- r ! "' v' t pa -- ' "' f r Sj a.w. irrK'.rwifi" ' "a.u. II P Ok L ."- -' Mi'ar .' ! ' Arr ! i " p ' " llVa lr- ,..; Hfts.;l 'I3.m Anni .,.. f ' f" m-- -- I '" '.VS"- - trr.in n f e xm, lUt II. Tuns'. SALVIAS AD 't taTaSlt Uis Artta Urt talta! t - (J.n '' 1' n '" P .aiji ju. 1 V a ? i p m. i v --a. SAl I !-- 0 ttH'.X.M. !. Rilt UiJ avm.; rtamlE hrr.-- &ui tia I JI f ax. Oaa. JtAaacaft mms. raaa. AS .. . I TaWe Notlra. j A special meeting of the Salt Lake j j real estate exchange is hereby called j for Saturday evening, May 3d, at 8 o'clock. Business ol importance will I come up at this meeting, and all mem- - jj bers are requested to be present. Mem-- ! hers of the exchange only will be ad-mitted j to this meeting. liy order of II. C. Lett. Attest: President, j Joux Montgomery, Jr., Secretary. people si KngfaiJ. sr ncitfd ove. l.s- - ll.-J di.uT-r- t of pvtrolrtiu) in the groiii'J i;.rn. J Urfi-ig- ar being uiado to i depth of i.C jiJ ft french f:gine-is proj to con.:ru'-- t a bridg' a;roi iU-- ipb'rtTi. Il wiil from Eoun n l!iif U Atn'ole !fiar. and will U-- J.i" feet tons;. w s njnse irri) Tlie French output of coal la-- year wa 4,). tons. l.'f'i.M f I""'e ,h to'lfc-SJ- . ftixl S.3W.VW ' mot t!,a" iu 17. Tie- - iiK.rra noulJ have been ,i,l larger but for striiw auioi g f inioers in the largest &MfCl. Dm Prench are making a greawr ffort o ta.kfrim EngfUi iuic--1 tue Jituiur rasean trafHc lSjBll',at-Jfaabe- r Were J'i ainii'g t iIi.lo No; I a-- !u,,!aBi at Van IXita'i Maj--4i- i. . ' |