Show I IThe The Fable of the Feeble Squawk By Dy GEORGE ADE B Dell Bell II Syndicate ACE there was a n Parent who who ONCE OACE O was so 50 heated under the Neck Keck Band that he ho laid back his Ears and lifted his Bristles and yawed vowed that be he wouldn't stand for any more Rough Hough Comedy lie Ue had been the Angora Anora Ion long enough Papa was vas fed up Old Reliable was ready to put on his Ills War Paint faint and Feath Feathers ers and lift a n few Scalps Of course you ha have e guessed the Plot It 11 deals with the Younger Cen- Cen Gen Gen- Generation Generation Once It was known as the Generation but that was be- be before be before fore rore It t Rose to such an Eminence ot of Cussedness that It hit lilt all the thc Spots Spots high and could not be expect expect- expected expected ed to establish any more Altitude Records without completely blow blow- blowIng blowing blowing ing the Lid off I All of at us know that any old old-fash old Toned Dad who hops bops Into the Arena n a and engages In a Battle with handsome and well-groomed well Hound about 10 years tars old or n a night bloom In ing Deb Is licked before the Gong sounds The Old Folks have hafe not a single Decision In the Western Hemisphere during tho the last Five Years Ever Every time a n Verbal Cham Cham- ChampIon Champlon Champion bewildered tins Has Been lias-Been pion plon goes against a n Been the result Is n Foregone Con Con- Conclusion Con Conclusion Notwithstanding which Mr rr ets still nursing the Delusion that there was such a Thing left leCt In the world as ns Parental Authority got Wallie and Edna on the Carpet and proceeded to lay ny down the Law Laly Barking Words That Dont Don't Bite lie tried to win his Argument by making a lot of ot Noise ThIs Tills Is Faded Material The more he vociferated the more helpless he felt In the Presence of ot the titled Noses and the scornful Eye Brow He started out as ns Caesar and finished up as a amere amere amere mere Splutter He pulled a n lot of ot new Regula Regula- Regulations lions Ions on the lie o Offspring For In- In Instance instance In Instance stance No More Late Hours No More rore Using the Car Without PermissIon No more Charge Accounts Severance Se of Diplomatic Rela Rela- Relations Relations Relations with all nil of ot the Calcimined Cuties and desperate HIp who frequent hoofing Emporiums No more Attacks on the Ice Box ox at 4 A M No more Inviting up to the House those Jovial Acquaintances who look as It Ir they were wanted by the Police No more Breakfasts served at nt 1 P M f No more setting fire to the Bed BedClothes BedClothes ed Clothes with Cigarettes CI In brief the Program which h Mr outlined with scathing Dic Dic- Diction Diction Diction tion contemplated a n Return to San San- SanIty Sanity Sanity ity Sobriety and Simple LivIng with an Incidental Endorsement or of orthe the Coolidge e Doctrine of ot Economy After Acter he had just about talked himself hoarse without getting any Results except a n few Cew pained Looks Edna took a long Pull at her Cork TIp and said s Well Pop you are barking very cry well this Morning but you haven't spilled anything except a Lot of ot Words You must have ha been brought up back of ot a n Barn or Some Place Pince like that I never ne saw such a Doodle Heck lIeck The Jaws keep moving and It sounds like somebody saying Something but the Whole Thing Is Just Gooseberry Marmalade As an Orator you are area aren a total Bust Just a n that's all I advise you ou to wash up and get off ofT the Lot Hot Obtains New Coat And If tr this tills 1 Pickle Juice you OU are serving Is meant for your our perfectly wonderful Son you can deliver dell my Share of It to fo some Poor Family spoke tie up Walter What n rot tie tle you turned out to be bet bel I Stand Stand- In ing Standing there right on top of or a Rug and trying to tell me how to loosen a Parachute and make a Jump Boy Ive I've got Medals rals and Speed Records that you ou never read about Youre You're just a n Man that lives II up at atour atour atour our House Youre You're what we have to explain to our Friends You are just the Scale on our Family Tree We Ve have a right to be annoyed by you but hut were we're not because you are the unfortunate VIctim of ot T- T J Pajamas and too ton much much Cereal Food You have the which means mems that there Is no Circulation above the Adams Adam's Apple Hl For tile the the first time In the III History I lory ot of the World the Family is 11 making the First Page suggested Edna and nod I are putting It over tr In spite of you and the other handicaps We are arc crashing Into Swell Dumps where You and Ma rn couldn't break In with n Jimmy We Weare Weare Weare are a n couple of ot hot little erS and ond you ought to he be rooting for us in- in instead In Instead stead of ot trying to check ched In before Midnight Why the Bambinos we travel with dont don't get their Eyes wide open until about 11 P M r more chimed In I this down loud yelp nIp about using that down broken Taxi Is Just a n Giggle It If you OU wasn't such an you ou wouldn't expect two headliners to travel around In n an old 1031 Model Iodel Why dont don't you OU come out of ot your Doze and buy each one of us n a something Racer something Snappy with real LInes to It You want wont something that goes with a Raccoon Coat suggested Fa- Fa Faher Fa Father her ther trying to be Sarcastic The Raccoon Coat Cont Is la about six alx I weeks out of ot Date replied Son with a weary ry shake of the Head suggesting that Dad was an Incur incur- Incurable incurable able Yap I have hafe just ordered one made mode of ot Manchurian Spotted Fox It will make all the other Laddies burst Into Tears and I 1 am getting It t for tor Four Hundred Bucks Europe will have all alt of or the War Debts paid before you earn that much Money sail said Mr Ir ets eta ets You talk about Four hundred Dollars as If It It were Something to tobe tobe tobe be picked oft off a flush Bush If It you dont don't mind I should like to have you two YO Birds of ot Paradise remember that I Ido Ido Ido do not get my Money Ioney at a Pump I am just an old Frazzle brought up under the Prehistoric Conditions ot of the l MId Victorian Era Ern but It if I didn't get out and rustle a n new Bank Account every ciery week weel you would starve stanc to Death before Spring Having attended all of or the Movies role read rend all of or the Hie Books and seen all nil of ot the Plays you are ore now making n a Frantic Attempt to make moke all of the other Sheiks an and 11 Ionic 1001 like Second Raters from Poke Poke- Poke The only reason renson I nm am so In Interested In- In Interested In your Criminal Ambitions Is that I am supposed to finance all your delightful little Expeditions Into the Underworld Sometimes I Iwonder Iwonder wonder what the Finish will be Probably your Mother rother and I wont won't live I to see It Fooling the Slickers Oh many and a couple of I exclaimed Edna Blinn Any poor Gillie who expects his Daugh Daugh- Daughter Daughter Daughter ter to braid her Hair down the Back and play the Cottage Organ In these hoopla Days doesn't de- de deserve de deserve serve sene to have ha one What would you Rheumatic Relics do these Days Dars If IC you didn't have ha the Young People to talk taU about And did you OU ever stop to think that It if we stayed home Evenings and played playe Authors Jack Straws and Till Tid- TId all the Saxophone Players would be out of or Work and there would be a lot of ot Suffering We are the busy little LIfe LIfe- LIfeSavers LifeSavers Savers of or this transitional Period It If It wasn't for Cor us the Earth Euth would have a Crust on It A lot Jot of ot you dodderIng Dummies who are stick stick- stickIng sticking sticking ing around after your licenses have expired ought to be tickled to Death to pay the Expenses We are giving giving Iv- Iv IvIng ing you real Entertainment but the Trouble Is you are ore not keyed up to It It It Is too bad that we find In our Cities so many town small small Rubes who get et In by mistake Wed We'd love to take you and Ma In with us It if you OU could keep up and main main- maintain taro tain the Pace and exhibit some Class but Its It's no use trying to show you any Touches of ot High Life IlCe be- be because because be because cause neither one of or you Is gaited to be a n Stepper The Situation Is clearing up somewhat said Mid Mr Ir I can begin to see that your our Mother Iother and andI I are wholly to blame Either that or we should l have sent both of ot you to the Reform School about Ten TenY Y Years cars ago You old and make moke me plumb tired said Wallie Wh Whenever ne er several of our typical Parents get together these Days they sit In a Back flack Room licking up Scotch guaranteed to be a Week or orTen orTen orTen Ten Days old and worrying for tor fear that the Young Pe People are not getting a n good quality of or Gin Those who haven't Fallen Arches still try to Dance and most of those not runnIng for tor Office seem to be tank mak-I mak Ing ln n a Joke of some Good Law And AndL 1 I yet they are always roasting us Kids You are a n lot of Jabber Jabber fowls a n I dont don't know Im I'm simply tryIng to protect the Author He ITe writes S his Stuff at least a n Month before It ItIs itis ItIs Is printed and of ot cours course any Ju Juvenile Ju- Ju Juvenile venile Slang Sian that he put In would be out of date cold and discredited before the time of ot Publication So the only Safe Plan Is to coin n a few Words which mean menn Nothing and put them In and then the Slickers may think that he has dug up some New Nev Ones which they have not noth h heard ea This unes-pE unes unexpected Reply put Fa- Fa Fa Father ther on the Ropes By lly the time he the two Moderns had picked his Pockets cranked up the tho theBus Bus us and started for a n Nice Place known as The Purple Bulldog As MORAL As lon long as os It does not really Interfere with any Arrange e Arrangements Arrangements ments menta made hy by the tho Children why not let et the Old I Fogies ogles rave |