Show J C Jf i I I i Fuits of sQ T lis R t Ire i p 0 Jt By Forrest Crissey VIctory q In g s e 1 Author of A Boys Boy ken I EAR N l D And se H e after atter all youre going doing toI ngo to D COD congress r With the convention already lrea r held and ti Use til e opposition in such each a state of almost infantile helplessness I dont ont see how sow you t an possibly po tall tail down Ye Yee m ru bear to the fact tact that youve always stuck stU k to it that your ambition would be completely satisfied if it you could be sent ent to congress congre the he le old district Of course I know that true aI although though f you ou thought it was wasand and think so now When a good live lie American citizen who has once tasted the u blood i of or public office sets a u stake take for his ambition clad at says 4 thus far and no farther and promises per peI feet content when Mon he reaches that mark be pasts him self It in the position of the old fellow down d n in Arkansas who lived to eat and insisted instated that if he once get outside a dinner of terrapin canvasbacks and cham clima champagne p hed never neer care to eat again in this world After youve once otE fairly warmed your seat at tn m the house hou e realise a that youve only begun gun to t live and the United States Stat senate is the only real diamond pointed stopping ping place for tor an able mans ambition Then Theil after youve landed in the senate and grown a little familiar with the scenery there the White House Hou e will be about the only landmark that will loom up on your horizon At first be Ik ashamed a ham d to acknowledge acknowledge edge the thought even in the secret geret place of your own inner conscientiousness con n Next argue with yourself that there have been a whole lot of worse wore e presidents than you would make and that the tile woods are full Cull of ot presidential timber hollow in th the trunk and showing dead limbs at the top Its Ira not the tile thing we have lave in hand but the one that s just ahead of ot us that we hanker for in itt politics as af s in everything cn else eIe But you are all right Ned in your our determination to make every hour of your our congressional ional service count and count hard You say sa that you want ant some advice that bat t gets right down to brass tacks ta ks and wilt will help you u to make good with your people before the drat arat crop I or of soreheads has baa a chance ehan e to go wo to seed Before I went into politics I used ed u to think that Canada thistles wre were the hardest things In the world to kill down do and the swiftest to spread but Ive since discovered that the too political sorehead has a grip on ou immortality ty that makes mak f the thistle a thing of the passing moment nt Im told that a queenbee lays Jays something like eggs egg a day and leaves the tending of them entirely entirety to slaves slate but even f t n at that Mrs Irs Bee is i at a disadvantage in the work of perpetuating the species compared with a apolitical apolitical political sorehead forehead who know enough to tell a Plau t hie ble lie and stick Uk to it ft A scandal in a country town is a slow spreader alongside of a spirit of dissatisfaction with the work of a new congress congressman man Keep your sorehead crop mowed mow eel tight to the ground and then cover the spot with rock salt It every y week or two In other words give them O the e Canada ena a athistle thistle treatment in its severest t form And ADd even then th n nth th re sure to show MOW their heads in a new place every Ittle while You might as ac a W we wl l I make up your our mind right at the start tart Ned to defer being a statesman man until attar roure youre dead If 11 youre a good goad enough politician white lying Iving your mourning constituents and the news n s sa tapers apers a rg will take care of oC your promotion to the trite states statesman stat sf man n class clas cla s after youre gone l ne This saying that t you are to think of nothing and work fer outside of ot gettings things for your followers and herd herdIng heldI Ing your Tour seat sat at ati i As Ii ti neat 1131 ar a r I was wai 1 t pis si ci up the hc situation sl theres a sentiment among the members of the na no national not national t onal house hou that every member ie is entitled to have one pet interest along the line of disinterested rested state st ter manship so long as he does not allow it to interfere with his regular duties as a getter for his hJ own partie particular ular constituency There much sentiment in intine tine thi view of the matter but all aU the same it works out outwell outwell ut well in actual practice If it eases his feelings any ny let the new member regard the and t for special legislation demanded by In un l constituents as the routine drudgery by which Jig h hIs JB Is to te hold boki his job while he works out his pet hm of broad bread statesmanship tate man Theres some BOIDe consolation in this view clear Ie of the mat riat matter ter but he may be sure that the boys who are ara koop mg leg up his is fences at home and trying to kill Ut i the he exempla Canada ca thistles look took at it that hes he entitled to too patter with his bis pet theory of legislation a ii as long a t he h dolant du allow adlow it to cut Into their interests or those of his district A fad for collecting old clans china colonial colo L furniture and rare coins would be tolerated iri in tie the same me way by these fellows who man the political pj nia and keep it going If the congressional c lonal recruit can hold his seat long enough nough to make the people of the Ute country at large Connect his name with a certain line of oC legislation his S followers will win swell with pride because he has h t made good ge his name In the papers pa and Is Class as an authority But the congressman congre man who allows himself ta tt think thin that his hia reputation as a 8 or legislative specialist pec t is 18 going to excuse tX UIe hint dim from drumming up places for tor the tM boys in the th departments is h going to be left at home with plenty of ot time on o his s shands hands bandS In which to write reminiscences for the marines magazines ma nes So set t it Jt down at the start that yoUr youl is In a luxury to be cultivated in moments mome IUS pf of Q leisure Of 1 course bourse Its not particularly stimulating ng to ones jones patriotism to take this view of the case as bUt hut the practical prat ties lieal man will square himself to actual conditions and Jf n these are not now the conditions things have e changed since I used to haunt the depart y and lie JIe a make aUke ake nights trying to pipe lines of in influence fluence Into the working department of ot the White WhiteHouse House moue ange Perhaps you OU may feel that youve fooled around a 8 legislature long enough to get on en to aft ajl the th Important tant tent wrinkles that are really worth knowing sot so f r 9 gs 3 the general business of lawmaking is Ia concerned but Ive found out oat that familiarity creeds breeds 1 s well hell etl as contempt and that a man m is likely U y to o bYr leok Ieok an important point of the game in which w he Ir 1 a a regular sitter So Ned Im going to lay law down the e eJ law J w looks to is me on two things that you be supposed to know just juet as 8 well wen as I do n Anyhow l OW those these e tips will come in handy bandy by way of emphasis ha to t your ew ow observation and will m help you to start off your s goat career along practical lines JInes Square yourself with his majesty the speak speaker lt C er and keep squared no matter if you have to sell your shoes and sit up nights to do d it The man maji be behind b behind hind the tile gavel is the keeper of your destiny and Lid J t captain n of your congressional touL POUL Th T The nod of 0 his head can ean do more to make or unmake you p lt l than a dozen d zen speeches that are cheered f 1 S1 the I gallery gaUer I had my lesson on the t e power of a ack ap J fl l ck in my second legislative term wit Wh r ah Iah Bless Bl ruled the house houS He Hf was a I I and his book on oft that subject j Pd In b the great reat at ui itt our state stale Au you I s ably y remember he was liS the prince of political a st s diem had been ten times elected lot the thee house and never twice on precisely the same ticket i That year he was elected on what he called ed the in independent IndependEnt independent dependent ticket and as soon as a he her fed a ved at the state house he was powerful particular that t there should be no confusion as to the r td complexion of his hl party affiliations Oh But hut he w wAs w ie a cunning nong old fox fax and had the audacity of a liri le bulldog There had be been be en a close clo e campaign cam and J hen en we started in to organise the house hOUlle andl a ups a mem mom members members bers bets It developed that the two kart were actually divided and that old Jeremiah held f the lie absolu bal ance anee of power Ower Of course there was as scramble ble bleon on the part of or each side to capture t h wily ily oil olA ol S strad trao t w had in years a past M one as M speaker when he be called cal himself a Republican n s But the crafty old fox refused 4 rt cu a to either side although 4 V kept k P t Ji a dots stant flirtation with the leaders of Si E T dead deadlock deadlock lock continued until the house ho eo and each em party placed its candidate for speaker r n ii on After the eloquence of the nomina g so had subsided old Jeremiah arose tn tall the th hotte ilie h be became became became came as still as a church during the Che passing of ot the contribution box With a face masked maskil in hi almost al SOm SOmber SOmber somber ber seriousness the man who held the ties ing vote Ole began his speech h with the I 1 am an independent My party bee g c candidate for the of cf this honorable d the necessity nece sity of presenting his name anti anil an ci i i s Devolves upon me meThis meThis This beginning was greeted with y fer re he was the only independent Inde in n the assembly poem Bop IfOr t half baJC an hour bour old oM Jeremiah held beld the house houe hou e i ee attention Uon tion while he review reviewed ed his hie own career ali and pied hs his own character with an impartiality tta W V B u a ma a Ul cent The of thern the taiga n dazed d the members and carried them oft off feat C t wJ when en he closed by offering his own name nani cht from both aides sides made tile the house hou ring ringWell Well after the deadlock had h fd off T for or a few weeks and the public at large lar was hO for tor almost any rInd kind of a aa speaker in order to get at the business s of the session old Jeremiah fixed fi U ape i teal deal a the Democrats was elected speaker and u tJ k the tho fea el eh for tor fora tora a rule that undoubtedly gave rom n ed po S on the proper propel conduct of an American Amerlean Prophet as we called him ran things that winter in pt way that was a perpetual lesson in r diet z r and made the authority or of An nn me master pilot on the Mississippi Mi Wok took like childs pty Things been beda going on long to j before t tha fate f of the big bi measure turned on the Dea a I g It was a simple parliamentary ry d t fht ht bt of the matter was as s clear as a mans mana kiss his own wife behind the pantry door do r But ut the ruling that seemed inevitable was contrary to the i of th the forces fo s with which the speaker sp training ining Naturally we all thought we had Old Id re at a decided disadvantage di S When the r point ont was raised h how w r i ne he ruled against us u and ani never batted batt an eye e y as s he bt la ired d The chair Ch tr decides dl des that the th point Is taken The bill btU therefore passes to a a thir The words were scarcely out of his his hl mouth 1 n the leader of or our tide side jumped to his feet a odd fl the privilege of reading from an authority v he de declared dared Tile The speaker of the house fl n P o roc rec Og as conclusive L ViP f h W v Go cao ahead d said Mid old Jeremiah J I v i iThe N 1 The Th was wag right ht un t tJ J I n lt t pitch as the member finished d reading the din ail w 1 Who wrote note that book blandly inquired the thc I speaker The paragraph returned the member with a smile of triumph on his lips which so conclusively I sustains our contention is le from the able treatise writ written written ten by the speaker of this house the he Honorable Jere Jeremiah Jeremiah I miah mla A howl hawl of or derision interrupted the th members re remarks remarks i marks mark at this point and we w waited to see how hOV grace grue gracefully gracefully II fully funy old oU Jeremiah would back beck wetter j A of or the th gavel vel restored order and the speaker smilingly I drawled The chair bair does not the work from which the gentleman quotes quote as haying having the weight w of an au To his hl pe the boob abounds abound in statements and conclusions that have lv repeatedly been n proven pro en erroneous and ia tat tile opinion of the I speaker of this house horse there re fe not Ui lit the whole work rk a amore d dmore more mere unsound and mistaken statement than that tha which the gentleman has Me read Hi in your jour haaring helring g The decision of the chair will win not h be d unless the I member can briny brine forward a better authority 4 than that tot which he has cited Some of our crowd were so 80 mad that th c appreciate the sublime audacity o 0 of l d Jeremiah ruling ruUn against himself but It hit the t h u n bone df most of us so hard that the sting of unjust died out with the roar of laughter la that went itt Up p from every part of the house houseA j 0 jA A little later however a situation aro which W hick we thought covered all emergencies and aili t leave a n ahole ahole hole aa as big as a pin point through TO b oM old fox O could trawl crawl out Just before tore Sit atile speaker made a ruling that th t when brought tt ta lf r a a meas measure measUre ure that was coming up In the a O Would ld kill the progress of a big railroad d bill i tiers ers crowd wa was s pushing The e trap en ln ea f fully y laid by our boys who were fighting the b bill anti were as tickled as ag a girl with her first proposal when old Jeremiah fell Into it H and put himself on o i record cord re regarding regarding garding the point of or Issue He been in his room five minU f when the general counsel of the Interested road was W wa Mr Speaker said the railroad e i ry Im afraid that you OU dont realize r that Y your rI r 1 test ruling r will absolutely ab ly kill kith No if dead the t e O opposition sitton is waiting to throw yo year o w im s bock back your face within three hours houm after lter yo W ve spoken It Th The n after his beard boord for a t moment ment the caller calter cal r added ki aa 5 Ive bon been be n I hope bOp that you ou are noi not hostile to the s sNo No easily replied Jeremiah h date fills bills all right but Im going to show that bunch Of school schoolboys boys that theres there more than one way WIY to skirt a 8 cat and nd that a real prophet flon t have h ve to vork or a miracle and make the stream tream of parliamentary run up uphill hlll hut in order to leafe leade them in the lurch h You just reSt easy and see what happens when they In n their th lr little game v After recess and ju jut t before the railroad Ad hill bill was reached the speaker called caned an ambitious young ui gRer Re Republican publican to the t hI hair chair nd then retired to the lounging room This Thic young youn ap had served two r Jr or th try terms before and bet hai h i a notion th that Vh 11 lib knew more mor about parliamentary p law Jaw than any ag er Who had half ever occupied the tho chair and particularly r old Sere miah And besides Ides that he canle yolu a in inbi Which bi h the railroad most to o ba b b fit r tl grid Its Us largest shops hops S Jm i 8 t tIn 1 In other oth r words hee he wag a h m |