Show n 1 IJ a a aa JI J 1 A A AAA AI t A A tt A Atm S c 5 IL ic nw tm ss t l The I Art ArtS Artof S of B Being ing r tc I i ic Mistress Agreeable Ii a e e ab bl le e II ii I By Gordon Adelaide I ac S I ro iC fC iC Mrs MaB Gordon GonIon will inqui t 4 tries ic k ales ries addressed to her by readers read 4 T 4 Letters TAtters should Jd enclose return 1 it postage e and should always be fed 4 4 it 4 dressed thus Uan t 4 ADELAIDE GORDON GORDONK ic K f 4 15 liS Fifth avenue New York YorkI 4 aft I CANNOT U up ii any I student of the tile test best t soda social jointure fi l the tIe prime necessity nece ity of ot j how ow to to win and ad hold the esteem bf f do domestic doIt o It IC Do not net com or ignore this tad pd i important field for the t tf a aK aK iC K popular personality I 1 have llave lr well t over into the s sunny side aide of 50 and 1 an su n nic ic Joyed n m my y fair smite share of the te K admiration and franJ fran ly Iy expressed sed a J K will wm of my equate equals yet I am to toK ic K confess that in all my social i j It once enoe no compliment I ever i r ed 1 gave me more pleasure than thea that paM paMby fit me by my cook cookK f K The madam is a lady lad I on over overheard overheard It heard the head of the kitchen announce ounce t to her fellow servants I 1 know sh a is isa IsIc Ic a lady by the way wa she sh speaks and aad K most by the way she II S Sto to t all alt of tw as asi s i iC je i I 1 went quietly out of the pantry antry i K Ic pleased and latter flattered d beyond words I 1 IT T felt relt elated and aud satisfied to know thai it 5 Ic I L bore so excellent a reputation tat loa among anon n S K my dome and I carried my h lien a aJust ic Just a tiie tNt higher r all aU day daj fc 4 Ic The die m of my servant proved to t toX tot X t me what I 1 have bave always me mely ly b l that there is Just as much muCk or of aft aftIn I Ic In being exquisitely affable a n nI X I of an art in being nM exquisitely J when Whan It social culture is really deep and wIde every enry one alike nc no only reco fC K g its existence tenee ext but bu is sensitive se l i t tiC to toc r iC c its beguiling pOWer X t A laundress can an fl and w wi wi a te tc k c tact and civility as promptly as a lady k It sh she feels it and responds re to it k Av gracious graceful kindliness of Q 5 manner in the mistress lea leav leavIC K IC marked impression upon the servant I 1 am im daily made more acutely aware of l the toe fact that the reason the average woman is f rarely or never a heroine la lv lathe g the eyes of her ter housemaids is because t she so very seldom tops stops st pa to realize realise rf that at atthe k the fine and agreeable manner is as its a p potent t a factor for fo ones one comfort in t kitchen hen as in the drawing room K ie You Yen may be as neat as a the traditional ipU K pin ae u thrifty as a 8 French woman woman 35 and at d as ta ambitious as oI Napoleon and for foriC forIc iC all ail that the th very pry worst of or housekeep housekeepers k p K ers era er and hostesses oste se unless you rou tak k api ou sty to heart hert the importance of main maintaining m ic taming the very happiest relations reI 4 with those who are art in your 3 Ic service 1 c K K L It was Va hut but hi yesterday esterdy Y that t iS B Bic ic evident truth I ru i was as ma nad Jf manifest ma aia if fest l a nn herr jj k I j J listened I ii dt old sory tOty i over 5 new from the lip ot of L a 1 caller r She c I S has been having her troubles with her servants There were tears t ars in her voice and ire in her eyes as she told in very graphic detail of her encounter encounter encounter ter with the cook ook of giving the saucy sau y waitress a Roland for her Oliver and bestowing a lIberal piece of her mind upon 1 F n Che tife parlor maid maidi i She is young oung my m caller just A be beginner ginner t t housekeeping ping and entertain entertaining big ing She has come om to me rue more mot than once OI for suggestions and aud advice for forshe she 1 Is deeply imbued with the o her home borne one of the Ute oo tera of or attraction in her neighbor neighborhood neighborhood hood V Not exactly tl a pleasant Ie sant state of house falts was as that which she re to rev tov v Her little dinner party has ba to e be e postponed because e of the re to and mutiny prevailing below and she wat waa evidently shocked hO ked and nd not a little offended ed because I Idid old did not join her in wholesale of the outrages put upon her herby herby by her domestic dol force t were one and all aU hor horribly to me I was simply Obliged d t discharge them she be in insisted int t etl in ip ready of her own eo dUO I V dear lady were you not BIn tre ly discourteous to toJ J I hastened to assert a t in my gently g positive tone Perhaps y OU u never meyer Yer before that there is isa Isa isa a ele Oje of Or known as kitchen courtesy that the mistress should al fc be the first to 10 abide by its rules and the last to break them and that they toay are essentially the same Mme regula fit on 3 a those we practice in is the salon awn m u k a bit different in their application application tion Now oN W your primary and greatest lay Jay in forgetting for that cour court t inspires courtesy in even the very humblest and roughest Est individuate and that you YO show sh 1 the highest altruism and an J re for yourself in carefully the feelings of others thera no mett what their origin and li thin may be Aft r al ai 1 is deco dou and said that is the very very backbone and explanation of all aU etiquette and good breeding If you are only seriously occupied with the importance of creating an enviable Impression f among your our drawing rooms inhabitants you have haYE sadly ed d and misinterpreted ted the re really ally aUg best beat meaning of th art and value alue of rendering yourself ou generally agree agreeable able ab uP i e and personal magnetism let me assure you here brie and 2nd now flow are ar no hM here exhibited to greater advantage than In your kitchen As you rou ou are a woman of generous generou in Ins s U hose pride rings true trul and an 1 sense is a facility at atone oDi one o id and sw iet pt y yu iu qU cann t too 1 fJ a lit pl nc pal Ui ii ili h y of or learning how to handle hand the t lP D situation with a touch that is as sure aV I f steel and as oft as U velvet Ivet The keynote to your success lies in inthis inthIs this Persuade your jour servants to like you ou It fl fe it 1 the keynote to success s every everyWhere Vcr where hert but the sum of your influence fa tr the th domestic regions increases in proportion n as you exercise ex the art of pleasing pleating every individual in your em emPloy employ employ Ploy Never lose loile sight of ot the fact that t att there is J just as line fine a field fieldor for or the display C superlative su charm in ordering the tue dinner or correcting the parlor maid as there Is in welcoming a caller caBer or cup of tea for an influential dowager dowagerS S You have ve blundered sa iy in forget forgetting forgetting ting that tn servants servant are jut just as human as yourself and awl very observant and critical too Dont continue in Ia the er ci erro ro belief that having paid id them their wages wage you owe them nothing else elm and dont have hav one voice voie one cute glance one mode of ot speech for the par parlor parlor lor br and a totally different for use u e on the basement floor Your authority Is but lut sounding brass blue ss and tinkling cymbals cym bak if you y u have not inspired devery every servant under your our TOO roo roof with a real and desire to do yur your bidding S SLet Let Ld your personality count and whether you have one work or a dozen highly accomplished at your command you can wake reake your influence felt as s greatly to their own as to your advantage Above all things consider er that it Ks tB the first and anit foremost obligation of your position as mistress to render the labor in your house just as pleasant as labor can ean be e made nade and that it rests wholly wIy with you whether servants are ares s U or dr not under mider your roof You should try to under understand taDd that there Is la laas Isas isas as much mch cause for pride wide In the fact that you find 1100 servants evants readily rea lly and keep them a long time as that your drawing room is i an agreeable spot and attractive attractive tive the to visitors I am never nver n ver more wholly confident of or the Innate good breeding and true lad hOd of t a n new acquaintance than when w Jt I J discover over on close ause that she what sha s may my m y well proud proudly ly cali caU o family servants That same woman is sure to boast lifelong friends alid an unmistakable faculty of winning the Che liking of every ver indi individual vidual near whom her lines lilies of life nCe are areS arec cn c C S She is Ja A woman who ho has lifted d her capacity for displaying dl sweet cone condo condescension cones s Into the tha realm ram of or the fine arts the h knows knos how t tt ti be gentle even i thoughtful of or her heT employee without in inthe inthe i the least injuring her ber dignity If you could spend a few days day in her herh house h uSe observing o her methods you ou L would perhaps be amazed to see s e that her demeanor with bar hor servants is not ent from rom her bearing among her social metal equals Th Tb whole sa t of Qt her OPT success S to t l lie with which she Rains gain her domestics tits h J ioIE on at t t tl eit one U of f them Shorn with a glance s nf i r Hn in s nl with them i A J It It A It A lk t her manner is invariably y that of serene amiability Never at aay time nor al jw place pla does she raise her voice to toan an error or is isue Ique ue an order To Ta meet insolence or 01 incompetence with Ith anger or impatience she cond co ers era as unforgivable a breach of the code of AS to display temper before a guest who had played her ha a rude trick or broken her most moet D bit of Dresden In all n your domestic do tlc relations re to remember remember member that as the French wt said aaU Our social rocial distinctions distinction dl are mere mat matters of breeding the blood i in iff the same the world over it is your behavior and not your food and clothing that proven pro proy you ou to be an aristocrat arl tocra L Your servants believe m mI may not DOt n i 1 be able to quote the words of the UI keen 11 i witted Frenchman but they are Just Ju as prompt and sure when guided by their own instincts in estimating the character char acter aeter and the behavior of their mis fess i In consequence COD of this thia t it he e hooves hoove you to bear yourself with aa i much flinch where they are a as before tOle the greatest in the land You do not n t gossip os ip with or before belm them you do not discuss your family affairs in their presence nor family differences in their hearing be because cau cause you must maintain your dignity and their regard So long as you are mistress it if Is your duty to recognize that you ou owe o your servants the benefit of the bright brightest est eat kind of an a n example and ana that no l correction comes mines from your our lips Ups with anything like the force orce of sincere e re ai a I f unless unies you observe o strictly yourself f the rules that you lay down You are eager for maids whose who mar marner ner ncr is jt bright gentle gentl and civil c Nothing i so redounds to the good name th charm and the sweet appearance of your home as u the crisply capped ed and woman who answers aner the door doo doorbell doorbell bell belt with her hair aa as neat Deat as comb and brush can can make it and a civility f for of or bearing that greets greeta tha th caller caner like a flash flach of or sunshine ne Nothing is Ia so agree agreeable agreeable able as to visit in a home where the tha th maids step about lightly speak ak in low tones and give you a pleasant greet greeting to tag ing in night and morning When you find one such admirably trained woman oman yo yon can rest comfortably comfortably bly pure re that at some time she Fhe enjoyed tuition at the tile hands of nf a mistress mi who ho hohas has herself considerate in ira her step light in her touch on oi the door doorknob doorknob doorknob knob and an AD exquisite in draa Fur Furthermore she was wa a woman who fol followed followed to lowed the gracious custom of greeting her servants night and morning w o was in her habits and ard who in short was w a lady Noblesse Nobles e oblige was wu undoubtedly her motto when she considered her bel rotations relations with her bel servant Before them at all aU times Umes she ahe was most careful to appear as the die very criterion n of reeding eding and mould of the best form Now No in all future associations with the humblest hum bt t of hired help let me rec to you exactly the same high theories and daily daay practice It takes two t 0 please member r to tomake tomake make a quarrel a d if your our own self elf control i j it maintained mair you Jip ned d never fear the insults of the cook wk nor the im impertinence impertinence pertinence of the chambermaid l It is quite safe af to say tl at you wil wj at no notime notime notime time find it necessary ne y to tia give e the wal waltress waltress waltress tress a piece of your mind if you have I S succeeded in the instance i ce in win winning winning ning and exercising fx upon her hf r the spell of your individual magnetism m Deti m to Copyright right 1003 hy by the th Nc New f y York rk So 80 Society let of f All Ail 11 rights re to servet l i |