Show 11 it a aV atiE V DISCUSSES T tf T T W i By John JohnLe Johni tiE HE i THE G EN IA LL I DIO I i j u IDEAL Le L u 41 S c J It if 0 I I Iu u 1 B L i 1 see Bee the Ideal husband has broke brokeW broken Iv out again agalla said tile the Idiot after reading W a short essay on that bet IRIt rare f WV individual by Olad Gladys Wa ry Shrivel ton v ot toe tue Womans Pae Pa or the Id hoped they had hIM locked up for good hes s been O 1 little in evidence or of late years Why should you wish act so e estimable as 4 t be locked up demanded demaR Mr A e some I how h w or other seemed to take the ioas as J S To ke keep p his trots from being said Idiot Nothing et the 8 a n a assure you It De be a pity I think ones U J hilf really found an aa Ideal a band to subject lm the or of the world to let him go f 1 rth into he madding croWd and tile the sweet rubbed oft by t of the r I feel about the UIe Ideal just as aa I 49 out a bEautiful vase Is fr I too delicate to be b brou st Injo with Uh the theA dinar A ier earthenware Afi t hen was of at JI fl t harmed rm d hut but the pe wilt will Inevitably turn L p t with a crak here and a nick Jilek there and a hole bole I else II after such an If I were a aI I oman man and suddenly d discovered that I bad ad an Ideal 4 IT I think at my per personal onal sacrifice Id Present t to the Metropolitan or of Art or er nm immure re him ni In other retreat where Im n would forever g up among the Egyptian of thE British museuM We Ve rennet be too jl ful Mr P d ot of t these rarely hat tt are no now a at d again vouchsafed to us What is an Ideal Husband anyhow ad Mr I net Has th the recipe for a suck ch an at last ben Yee put In Mrs in before tore the tot t had a 4 to reply end here the earold dear old landlady hIxt d tr 1 r eyes eyet and sn the th I can cn tell you the for the th Years Tean A T Sixt two my dearm d Mr ra ira on S Years verging on 13 3 Mid aiM Mrs Mr ing the Character developed en Itt by and Ad mad secure Eyes blue disposition w when vex d vex VOX etioUs tous disposition when pleased plea ed happy Irritable from just iut cause cau e considerate always 8 r Hart ot of gold prompt in and quick in ht f and only one old woman In the world for tor him himA A trine but a true trub friend when Wilen ro eded eh f h said the Idiot I 1 try to be said aahl Mr plea pleasantly antly corn com Well yoU succeed in both said the Idiot For your sour trifling is evident you at like a true you rou never sail to do 40 doI t I the breakfast table and after atter tn y expert 0 with yoU I for one cah say that tbt I have found you the true friend when I never neer told how without my solicitation and entirely upon your youra a mn Initiative ou once loaned tee the money ney to pay paly Mrs bill over which she hE Wh wa becoming I IJohn John riel Mrs Mh Peta severely 14 you ou vr fr do that S Well WeH my on once you ou know and you OU ere so 80 relieved began lx itan Mr You should haVE lent the to lo m me Jono Jonn said and tn then I f not Dot have hv been to dun tb the Idiot UJ 1 know my but you see I knew the Idiot IdiotS would pay me bacK and only per t S my might riot not have han thought o it explained b 4 Schoolmaster with ith a tight slight how of ment S 1 ie Ideal Husband is ever truthful too said the a as broad H a any Well Weli Its too bad I think sail 1111 the Lawyer that thata a man has haa to be on o II 3 to tl be eg Ideal Hen au band Jm Only 44 and I should hate bate to think J I should happen to get married th next tW tWI c I r three years my wife would woud hive have to WAtt at least fifteen years before she could find mt me all that I ought t to be Moreover I have hae been tol tob that I have black blackeyes S eyes With the unerring precision of nf a tr said paid the Idiot you a have unwittingly pity tn finger rn on the crux rux of oC the whole 01 mat mate Mr 1111 tIe 1 Yrs has been bEeD describing her g Id nd I anh am f to know that what J I have 1 t J he bf the fase Is in fact fOl the truth that her in her eyes ps i is the Ideal tine Thata the way f U Jt It aught to be and that Is why we e have always herthe her the sweetest or Landladies But Mrs rs Ped prefers prefer Mr In this race for supremacy In the of a w mans heart Is no reason why you woo who are only bald Id headid in your temper like must most of us should nOt prove to be equallY the ideal of some oth fact of severa several others Women are not aU all aUk alike As a matter of fact a named BaJc who was as Ute the Rich Richard ard Harding of his a age in France once com committed corn himself to the Inference that no two tw wO ever Were ere alike so that if you grant the truth of old Ow Ideal wW will ably vary to the Uie extent exten of the Count of the number of w Women Jen in the e So U give up J hopi hope bush uS u re A ly 41 s Con Ute The Lawyer uPa rue me 44 MI the J jm tou ae aeIn In the fO forties or six si years yean more or less Ion Ionas as 00 not DOt really rally count Lots Lols of men who are really only 4 42 behave like Uke 88 50 and I know one old dufter duer of 49 w Who lO hs the t manners C Is The ke ae do doos lint really 4 N re proof of o that the Bt A iL S You have hae been H 24 years ars old tr r the last hiat fifteen years ears Thank you Mr Bib sold aid t Idiot You are one on of the few pe PeOPlE l in the io o really reaRy der stand me I have hae tried to be 24 4 for or the be past fifteen years ears and if I have succeeded d O m Ahe better I It t r me Its a beautiful age You ref pow 1 so MG much when youre 24 14 If it olit eft to be bethe bethe the answer to How Old is An Alln th tb be bec c But as a matter of f t an Ideal Husband Huband at any old age Humph At i 7 for tor Instance lr Brief BriefS S Seven is not DOt any an old age r 1 L s I a very certain old Nor d tt It tl PC oC th the e eyes ye So long a Jr S N lobody could n of edv i sel III t r rIt qt It aU all depends on the ofa ot Ii m A nian afe eli I Isaid said the B Not a bit or of It said the Idiot It depe depends ds on l wife youve P got end 1 th aI I The Ideal to t the U st l c count 1 nt Of th the women m hi the ra Tk the e sue mile Of 11 1 l J 1 1 j J l t 0 I I I Mr lr hon hn Mrs Mr P u him of being an Ideal Husband anti he h lt om any attempt at evasion acknowledges s the corn Mice like the honorable gentleman he is if But can YOU Mr Ir being ing an Ideal Husband to some In the th Fou Hundred with a taste for grand opera that strikes only on the box with a love tove for Paris gowns that am art worth a fortunE wit the midnight supper anti d CO cc after habit firmly entrenched In her er character with an ambition to shine all a Newport aU all autumn at Lenox aU all winter at New York lork wIth adash a adash dash to England and France In the merry merry lp springtime 1 Do YOu MlP suppose Oe our trien frien Joh John Pads Ped gog here bert would be lii in It with Tommie s Van a as the Ideal Husband of uch a No NoI N Non on I your ur hit fe Wen ell filth take T PIo ne ie ka yiek wb d be Ute or r MrS Van v ow w he suit Mrs Irs rising at 1130 every day and yell yelling jug ing like mad for the little blue bottle botte clears the head hed from the f eating his 1116 egg and his th a f furrow in 10 his brow almost as deep as the pallor of his cheek I and aDd now and then ag a q Bt JI 1 J A J 1 L J 1 1 1 l J I L L L L 1 L because the interior o of his mouth f feels like a again gain day at the fur counter r or or a department t spending his afternoon sitting in the Widow of H Hunky mk Do Dorr club ogling the pu and m ink bets on such stich important questions as whether pa up the avenue than down or IIer the pr proportion of d gIrls to white boUm h bt as ag great between 3 and 4 p m in u as between n 5 I dont see how bow a w woman could tda a that said Mrs IJ I deed deed I dont Bee se wite hits his ideal qualities come in anyhow ho Mr 1 Idiot I think you yon are wrong In putting him Im among tte I eai even for Mrs Van Yan Varick uNo No I am not Dot wro wrong for be Is 18 Indeed tile the very because he be make her herstand e of her id Ideal al e Stand him said aid the Idt He never bothers Van IVan Varick bt at all On tile the 1st of every eI month sends hr her a for foj a od good round amount whiCh she can pay her bills He presents pre eat her wi with witha a town h hise use and a house anti aDd a brou and nIl all the furs she can possibly po want provides her ter with an ai operA box and ancl never DeVer fails when he e himself goes to the opera to call upon her pay his i like A If she ahe heavy hevy at bridge he makes them good and when she gives ea a dinner to her set or to some ome dl lion from other zoos Van Verick Is on oa to do the honors of his bis boWIe bouse and what Is supposed ed to l his table He and Mrs Mra Van VarICk are OIL oa tile ti most excellent terms In hi tact fact he be treats hew her With more morer r respect that he does any other woman be kJ never even suggesting the Idea of flirtation ir irIn Iq In other words he be does not Interfere Je with her er in iT any way Is the only kind of man Ja ha the world she be could be happy hap with Its perfectly cried Mrs u It uthe d they the they never see each other what on ever get married for said the Idiot And ADel It ft is splendid In Its results Mrs nI Va Va being mar raar rId rf to so 80 coD considerate an tee w Is able to go with t tand about y l much as she ahe pleases Wi e and affluence of 0 the Y V name Tl as 1 Wn little Miss Floyd was wag n able 10 do She he has now non za on an and Is against again the chance chuce of a man unlike Van Varick would growl at object to her friends and JUt Insist t upon coming h borne IR IRto to dinner every n bt d and occasionally turn up at breakfast st I Sweet life said the And w wL does the pot get out of nT It Pride protection and aDd freedom said the I Idt proud as 8 Ch W when hp he sees ee Mrs Yaa Vait y Y swelling about town with her name Dm kept as at matter in SevOry everT society colUmn In the country B f e dom he be enjoys just as she enjoys hers hen It If M h turn up for six weeks fie never asks apy ns and so eo Van Va Varick rick can live olt n easy t teC with the truth It If he up all night over a S of theres nobody to chide him for doln doing and AUd But where does his protection on eeme In T TI I i nt see Bee said the tg as aa plain as tL a said the Idiot WIt rz Yen VarIck on the Tommie i a safe t tg frail ug g ladies who might merry h him f U ke he s a mighty post Po cried Mr goJ gog tHe He certainly would not nt do for Mrs P I said aid the Bu you WOuld yourself be no better for V k The red Indian makes maJ an Ideal Husband for tile squaw eq t bu hut hed never suit suk a dough tor of the BritiSh nobIlity any aay mom tha tile the Duko of would make mak a good huban for duskY t little Minnehaha Sn I say What the US ua of discuss discus r log In the matter any further with the te ee of f arbi Settling on whit what it i k that an Ideal Husband WP We may all aJl hope hpe to I he such suh it w we only find th girl that likes oUr particular kOO Then SaM said Mr Brief with a smile YOur advice 0 tn Is not tJ t d eli eh It said Mid the Idiot I 0 up If r werE you Theres no telling whEn e will wUl come along to whom you ou appear to be th th perfect eros tUN Good cried Mr r Brief You To art ar ml mighty kind I 1 dont SUP suppo YOU can an g gie P mo m a hint hiM as to how bow soon I r may expect tom to meet Pt the ladY lf I ant said the l i t I dont be t n Edi Edison on nid tell teU you about when to look for arrIvals prom from Copyright 1 13 hy y John Davidson |