Show ON PRE T THE HE GENIAL El I iL IDIOT I T T By John JohnI l I SENTIMENTS A JL KIML 11 Hf V JL i A A e Kendrick Bangs a M Jl R IDIOT said Mr the tbt other morning as the guests Gest gathered at he nR breakfast tabs 4 n B l sentiments it all Il depends upon the presentiment t the Idiot Sometimes Sometime I 1 believe they are the of or A nature peculiarly receptive to exterior II ua j Sometimes I think they areS are mere mere fakes takes S r When n phi girt falls ire and ami I has a pre pro nt that she wont wot be married that t tase year p p alpe alpes ases ase s out of ten tea it so 80 much mach m superstition that r her hei to that belief as M a sad realisation that she shie ha mt any man in her bet grip and there anything iu in it If It a thou man to is up up m In a balloon feet above the arth earth i and anti the thing th bursts and nd he has a presentiment on his way wa back b k that something thin is going to io happen to him when ben he lands land Im rm inclined to think there is isi i in it And AncI so 80 It goes There are presentiments presentiments ments nid nd presentiments lre Do you happen to be suf sat sufi i ring f rom loni anything any thin of the sort son this morning In a i way say yes es fC paid aId Mr with a shiver O For KOI seti 1 several d days da now In Ia t ever eer since inG I hM bast ha been mu much h worried by fay a vague ape 4 union a i ion that something o I Ir h going to 0 happen to todon toC C 4 nit Jilt 1 I Ion don t know kno precisely reci ely w what n lIat it the thing is hi but a y or 01 other when h n Im walking a in tn t nf street streeta th there r I i a per pei lt t feeling inside i of me that a sign eign is goi goh going g to be blown blon n off a u building and drop drou dro on my head or r something of that sort Olney M rcy cried nied In 1 the ht idiot R Rall Rally a Well you ou want ant antto to get ct rid lid of it right away a ay Mr Ir P Fed agog for fot it is isone Isune isone one une of the most moat d dangerous m serous pre a nan men can have hae haveIt It H likely to 10 come ome true then the schoolmaster anxiously No indeed inde d sid rad J d the Idiot the queer thing about that si ei cial presentiment pr ment It never neer comes eo US true t rue itself It l but in spite pite of that t it Is a most lH apprehension in It its general eff t upon the Victim I III ii II i had held a friend once w who ho suffered t from rom it and the thing i P In lit went through b baUt ause e of It U TO enough to kill kin any ordinary man Fortunately h hl was as Constitutionally r a giant and he sui but until he got the present presentiment invent hn nt under I tonti his life i n t worth five min minutes utes 11 purchase Y u interest int rt mo PH hugely huly sm sail i Mr un 1111 uneasily n ta easily iy Would y yu u mind outlining your friends case caseto c to for Jor mv my m benefit Certainly no not raid nd airl the Idiot Only Oaly too glad giad glada a to because beau e it ma may h hr lp Ip you of your own O D predicament II The r hips hl S nan w Wi was SWall He B was as a New by bir birth h II md came amp of ot mighty sturdy stock When hel be IE was in Co v KP liP he played center r r on the var varsity ar city sity von on n and row rov ro Id I 1 three thic in the lie t e crew re I Itell Itell tell tenI u IJ that to give Cie luU uy n a ut of his tut j jb yge e and n explain plain how bow bo In ir spite of 0 all that happened ap ned to tc him I sun survives ps to this day After io cloy elor he ht became a book agent a nt and lId sold acid Tile e Worlds Deepest Thought in one volume in the west westfor westfor westfor for two years after which he came to New York and ancl became a member of the Curb Cwb on Wall Wallstreet Wallstreet street Everything went well with hint him hi until three years 1111 ago 0 when he was wa suddenly a eay seised st with this awful feeling reeling that on his way to business some morn morning morning ing IDS a sign len would be blown bl n off oft a building would fall oil oft his Ids head and knock him out Try as 88 he would he rid himself of that apprehension and when he lie went to bed at night K he be was almost alienist afraid teP ts t go goto oo to sleep Bleep for tor the obsession ion was wa SO eo strong be he b dreamed the U thing was happening all aU the time Unis Tommy Wig Wigg gas g one oDe of his hUt classmates r with him at that tine time and he told me ant It was wu awful te the way waller he box yelled y in his hie sleep and aDd jumped out t of eI bid bed at all baUD houKS of the Ue night to escape the ue signs alms he Jae thought were falling failing on him Your description Is terribly graphic cried Mr breathlessly I have alt all those symptoms xul Only last night while asleep on the divan ht its my DIT den deri dento derito to get pt t away from a great glided sign digit hearing bearing the tl thee ee e hd d Jones Jonel Jon Undertakers that I thought was falling upon mt me t r leaped from the couch and landed sprawling upon m my work table up upsetting upsetting setting the ink and mucilage pots DOts upon a series of or mathematical drawings it had taken me the two t o weeks to mak make The ts sure proof that youve got a bad case of or It said the Idiot And Im sure the story tory of Sal j experience will profit you He got so o he dare walk on the sidewalk taking Instead the C middle of ot the street Welly Well you U know kno what that 4 means The Th first thing that knew he was 4 Ie ked out by a trolley car ear and anet enjoyed joyed a period 01 or i three ree weeks w In the hospital While looking for fly flying flying C CIn ing In signs he ht had forgotten all about nt the flying Jug C Cg gern g rn ut with the result that when wh everything was vas c cleaned up he was minus two tens tees t slid had a dent deBt in inthe Inthe inthe the back of at his heed head big ble enough to o a walnut Of course coune he be made money by the episode w because the railroad people paid him 2600 54 for his is toes toe and aDd al allowed allowed allowed lowed him 1500 extra for the dent and he lie drew JO JOa 30 a week from the Accident A Insurance companies for forthe forthe j the time he hp was u as laid up but as he put it afterwards afterward j money t everything He told me hed rather live lie In Inthe inthe j the lap of woe for Cor a year than limp about for a minute min minute ute with a pocket po ket full of money and ad no toes to speak j of had been a divine dancer you OU know koo j jand and s of his bia toes gave Ie him a lurch that spoiled I him for the th and it made him sensitive The Boston Bot n Dip is 18 the only dance I ran can flo do o h wailed nailed a d sand and that h has gone pono nf out nut TP except in Boston and I Idon don dont t know h to h live lie there then I 1 cannot sympathize e with an empty mind said the who ho had never danced e Nobody asked ask d you to said the Idiot Its the empty shoe hoe were talking about But learned his lesson Presentiment Pre or orne no presentiment pre nt there he wa was WAR The Th pedestrian must walk on the side ride sidewalk walk whatever er hi his premonitions or lr take the con conse nW w que It been rammed rIDIn home to that the sidewalks ld walk belonged to walkers and the streets to tr the he trolley companies until he had nb the argy ad presented pre te to him with a bone breaking force So after he left the hospital k although his presentiment pre remained with him he walked like Uke a sensible le man Dan upon the sidewalk Im iliad glad to hear you say that said aid Mr Me og I always do that for unlike your friend Mr Swat icebox I have hav never yielded to my fears sufficiently to try to escape escape them through greater dangers Good od said the Idiot Your case Is 1 not so ex extreme extreme extremo as was wu that of which is a point in lu your favor Well Tell came back to the side sId sidewalk sidewalk walk Experience had bad taught him that a premonition was wan one thing but that the conscious seeking of dan danger danger ger get was wa another As between signs and trolley cars he had bad learned that the latter Jatter had been proved by human bunum experience tb t be inevitably the more danger dangerous ous whatever his hl nervous system prompted him to avoid But Bet now whenever he espied a sign he kept his h eye en on oa it If it seemed rickety he turned aside aide to avoid avol it but his ala caution cau oa proved his downfall One ODe morning he left his hl apartment ap up town to go 0 to his office on the street sheet and his premonition was wu so M strong strongly strongly ly upon On U him that he made up his mind the thing he most mt feared was due to happen that very VerT day To Today Today Today day is III the appointed hour he muttered to himself eIf as aa he be left his home hol No matter by what means I seek my office the sign BillA will au fall faIL He went so 80 far that morning as u to make his will in I which he left his debts to the Metropolitan Museum of Art and whatever was left to his kle roommate Wiggins and then he set out And no sign s fell upon him all aU the way down In Interrupted Interrupted Interrupted the ul I know the kind of story joure youre oure going to tell No you dont said Mid the Idiot It is true that no sign fell feU from the beginning be to the th end of his Ills walk but what did happen was that while keeping k lDA his eye peeled for loose signs he overlooked a great veat yawning coal hole beneath his feet teet The result was WUI that Swat fell through the chute chute into a bin below the sidewalk Just juat in time to receive a couple of tons of or pea coal which wa was in process pro of ot delivery as he dis disappeared disappeared disappeared appeared in the small of or b his back It took one hour for him to get et out for In spite of his WI yells ns for help nobody was aware of his presence below until the Ute Janitor came to see If it the bins were full tull Meanwhile le bad had had bad about eight e ht more tons toes of granulated anthracite poured d over him and when wien discovered discovered discovered ered was the living picture of a badly used up stoker of or African Arkan descent dECent I dont believe he has bat got the coal dust out of his system yet y t So you OU see Mr gog that that presentiment pre while the thing thine Itself may never come true for what it involves along alQ other lines lIn s is one of the most t dangerous da in existence And was ever ever cured of his nervous apprehension lon asked aked Mr No o said the Idiot But Rut hes got it under control con control control Finding himself unable to get rid rd of it it he de df determined determined to make the best of It It and now It has hu become one of the great pleasures of his life U He goes about seeking signs to fall faU on an him When he heard that the windiest corner in New York was down dow by the Plat Flat FlatIron iron building he h deliberately went down there th re and stood tood until he saw there were no DO signs on the block blO k to blow on him Then Ther n disappointed he h went across tr to the other side we of Broadway or Fifth a avenue n muc and whenever a sign sight really was blown off a building he would try to get pt under it t but without success The nearest he be came to being hit JaIt was w r within three feet of him one day last March He Ha butted it with his hie head as U it came down do tHat but he be consider that that counts as u a fu t because became it was he and not the sign sip that did the business Lately he has taken up just ju a as a peed good many people go o in for golf or fox hunting Whenever he ha haa t ta a holiday boU ay he be starts out early in ID the Ule morning r for one oae to fall taU on him himlie He lie must be ejaculated Mr Brief Nobe No be enjoys the sport of it just as M II Its Sib Bite heen enjoys the chase chaR for a rare first edition of olof the to F York city tty directory or some other choice bit s l property said the I Idiot lot But Bui SU there theft is no physical danger in book alleged the ul I should be a foot igol f to en endanger endanger danger dancer my head for the sake of my fad has arranged all that said the It ItHe He to Ie prepared for any AT emergency JIa In the tile fc t t place pl he be baa practised being hit by a sips D in his DIll reins ream He has hu a huge board suspended au from the wiling OPU by a a length of clothes line By touching a spring the tM oad i 1 Is made to fall faU and by 7 long lone practice got so IIO that he can catch it on his J shoulders on 08 the back of his neck or on the crown croWD of his head without t hurting himself elf a bit You see he be h has baa made a of it and aDd has baa become not only an expert espert but het bUta A rev real enthusiast on the subject I Bosh Boeh said the Lawyer Some day w when hen a real sign falls fall on him all his M science wont save sa e his era ara One good crack will give him his hi quietus qUI keu ever expert he may be Nope youre wrong said the Idiot I For he hi all reAdy reedy for it Whenever Wae ever he goes out he S football so 80 you see aee t tWe We see aee what yen yea are coming to Mr laughed the doctor if you Jou follow the Sw Swa method methodI I 1 should not choose It I must mut say smiled the lb schoolmaster ter if there were an alternative There is said the doctor docter A little less pie and a little more pepsin pep ln will cure care you of or any presentiment pre presentiment presentiment sentiment you ma may pave have These numerous n a J result of bad ba diges digestion n and terrible dreams are the gea S Stion tion You don dont t need to go IJO sign chasing but to taker take better care of your stomach There was wan a pause for a moment and the tile Idiot rose ro to leave Say doctor he said ald as he reached the door I wish give me one ofte of tho those thoe e i pepsin P D prescriptions p for nervous presentiment I ha have a terrible one of my own this morning and I w want nt Dt It I cured Well Vt I dont know whEther one ODe of your hallucinations tione will respond to In normal treatment said the doctor doc doctor doctor tor What is your presentiment That on the first of the month ell Til find m my letter letterbox letterbox r box full fall of hills bills said the Idiot It ft keeps me awake nights That replied 1 lle d the doctor is beyond ho the reach of pepsin f lAe re I a m tried d it myself my and I Kno know There is but n fm for th that it Mr i Idiot What is 18 that asked ke the t latter a The gold cure sold said the doctor And even eeD that te b permanent not t |