Show I ft By SEWELL SEW ELL FORD FO R D I P In n c k n e y s T Tw Wl ins i n s a i Copyrighted b by Y the Associated a fed Sunday S Magazines a Incorporated Inco rP orated Say when It comes to gettin himself tangled up In ways way that nobody ever thought though of before you can play Pinckney Pinck Pinckney PInckney ney clear cl ar across the board But I never knew him to send out such a af ahard ahard f hard hurry call as the tIie one I 1 If f got sot the other day It come first thing in the mornin too Just about the time Pinckney used to be ore oft the second coupon coup n from the slumber card cardI I moren got Inside ineide the studio door before Joe says been t ln to get you on the wl wh wt p Gee Gec says I hes hos up late lato last night Did ho he leave the num number number number ber berHo berHe Ho He had and it was a long distance call so the first play I makes when hen I rings up Is 15 to reverse the charge That you ou Shorty says he Then for tor goodness sake come ome up here on the next train Will you House afire bone bono in your throat or I what says sa s I Its Ils those twins says he Bad as that says I L Then Ill come Want Vani I tellin you about the pair of ot mated orphans that was shipped over overto overto overto to him unexpected and how Miss Ger Gertie Gertie Gertie tie the Western blush rose that was on the steamer with em helps help him out outWell outWell outWell Well the tha last I hears Pinckney is gone on Miss Gertie and gettin far farther farther farther ther from rom sight every minute Hes planned it out to have the knot tied right away hire hir a furnished cottage for the summer Bummer and put in the honey honeymoon hone honeymoon moon gettin acquainted with the ready readymade readymade made family that they starts in with Great scheme Suits Pinckney right down to the ground because Its differ different different ent He begins by a ij pair of twins next ho he finds a girl and ami then he about gettin married By the way he talked I thought it was nIl all settled but hearin this whoop for help I there must be some so hitch There want any carnation in his buttonhole when he meets me at the station he h shaved since the day before and theres trouble tracks on his brow Cant you stand married life bet betS 9 S tern this says I Married says he No such luck luckI I never expect to be married Shorty Im not fit Is this a decision that was handed you rou or was it you found out for yourself says I J Its my own discovery says sa s he Then theres hope says I So the twins havo have been gettin settin you ou worried ch Wheres heres Miss Gertie i That gives Pinckney the hard luck cue and while we jogs along towards his new place in the tub lub cart he tells me all about been First off he owns up that hes queered his goods good rt with Miss Gertie by bein beinIn In tn such Euch a b rush to flash the solitaire spark on her She aint used u d to Pinck ners Jumpy ways They b hit en n acquainted much moren a week and he ho gone through any of the pre prelims prelims prelims lims when he ups and asks her what day it will be and whether she chooses church or parsonage Course she shies at that and the next thing Pinckney knows taken a train west leavin him with the twins on his hands and anda a nice little note sayin that while she appreciates the honor afraid he wont do doAnd doAnd doAnd And youre oure left at the post says I Yes says he I take the twins and follow her but I 1 could tel telegraph telegraph telegraph My Iy first message read like this the matter with me Here is her answer to that ai ar J he digs up a yellow envelope from his in inside inside inside side pocket Not domestic enough G It was short and Crisp He give me his come back to that for he said it covered three blanks but it was wac meant to be he art ad ironclad Iron Ironclad 1 clad affidavit that he could be Just as domestic as the next man if he only had a chance And then says I Read it says he handing handin over Ex Exhibit Exhibit Exhibit hibit Two You have hae the tre chance now no it says Manage the twins for a month and andI I will believe you And that was wac as far as he could get Now first and last I guess theres ben b n dozens of ot girls not countin all aU kinds s of ot widows had their las lassoes lassoes lassoes out for tor Pinckney Hes been more or less legs interested in some but when wh n he really realty runs across one worth she noes loes the sudden duck and runs him up against a game like this And youre oure twin to make good ch says sa c I hats your program For Pinckney he done fco so o worse orse First ho he hunts up the only aunt hes got t on his list a wide heavy weight old girl lost or mislaid a R couple of or husbands but had any an kids of or her own and ana puts in her time gain goin to Europe and comin com In back She was Just havin the trunks checked for Bar Harbor when Pinckney locates her an tells her how hou houglad glad he is s to see her again she want ant to change her plans and stay a month or so with him and the twins at some nice place up In Westchester One glimpse of or Jack Tack and anel Jill with their manners on wins her Sure she will So Its up to Pinckney to hire a happy home for the summer all found Got any idea of how he tackles a Job like that Most folks folies would take a week off and do a lot of up different Joints want to know how ho many bath rooms Jf if f there then was as malaria and all about the plumb In Jn and what the neighbors was like But livin at the club dont put you wise to them tricks trick Pinckney he Just rings up a real estate agent gets him to read off a list says sas Ill take No 3 and its all over Next day they the move out Was he stung Well not so bad as oud think Course hes stuck about i two prices for rent and he signs a aa alease alease a lease without farther than the Whereas but barrin a few things Uk file haircloth furniture and rooms that have Ilave been shut up so long lon they smell like the in a brewery brewer he says the ranch want so bad The out outdoors outdoors outdoors doors was good anyway There was lots lota of or 1 it acres and acres with trees and flower gardens and walks and fish ponds and everything you ou could want for a pair of ot youngsters that needed room rom I could see that myself Say Pinckney says I as we drives in through the grounds if you ou cant set get ct along with Jack and Jill in a place of or this kind better give ghe up Why all you got to do Is to turn em cm loose Wait says he You heard it all i iLet ILet Let It come then says I J We will wUl look at the house first says he heThe heThe The kids want anywhere in sight s sight v so we starts right In on the tour of or In Inspection inspection inspection It was a big old slate roofed barracks with Jigsaw work on the eaves and a 3 lot of dinky towers fres frescoed frescoed frescoed coed with rods There was furniture to match mostly the marble topped black walnut kind that was real stylish st lIsh back In the In the hall haU we runs across He was the butler but you guess it unless you ou was told Kind of ofa ofa ofa a cross between a horse doctor and a missionary I should call him one of these short legged barrel gents with a pair of white wind harps fram framIn In ln up a putty colored face that was or ornamented ornamented with a set of the solemnest lookin lamps you ever eer saw ore oft a stuffed owl Gee Pinckney says a s I who un unloaded unloaded unloaded loaded that on you came with the place says he heHe He Ho looks it It says sa s I I should think that face would sour the milk Dont he scare the twins Frighten Jack and Jill says sa s Pinckney Not If he had horns and a tail They seem to take him as a Joke But But he does make all aU the rest of ofus ofus ofus us feel teel creepy Why Wh dont you write him his re release release lease lense says I Cant says MYS Pinckney He Is one of the conditions In the contract he and the urns The urns says I I Yes says Pinckney deep We are coming to them now There they are With that tb t we steps into one of the front rooms and he lines me up before a white marble mantel that is Just a cheerful and tasty tast as some of them places in Greenwood cemetery On either end was what looks to be a abronze abronze abronze bronze flower pot potTo potTo potTo To your our right says Pinckney is Grandfather to your our let f Aunt Sa Sabina Sabina bina the Josh says s ys I Shorty says he heavin hearin up another an another other sigh you are arc now in the pros pres presence ence of ot the sacred dust These urns contain the sad fragments of two great Van flusters Fragments is good says I find many to keep could they Did they go up with a powder ponder mill or faU into a stone crusher Cremated says Pinckney Then I gets the tho whole holo story of the two old maids that Pinckney rented the tho place from They were the last l st of the clan In their day the tho Van Rus had headed h ded the Westchester bat battin battin battin tin list about half the county and nd gettin their names In the paper pap papa r reg lax But the d been out for the tho last hundred years or so and when It got down to the Misses Van flusters a a pair of thin edged old bat battle btttle battle tle axes that had never wore anything but crape and Jet bonnets there want much left of the estate est te except the mortgages and the urns the place furnished was the thelast thelast thelast last card In the tho box and Pinckney turns up as the willin victim When he comes to fo size up what hes drawn and has read over over the lease he finds hes put his name to a lot he dream about Keep Keepin in on the pay payroll roll not to disturb the urns the furniture careful and havin Navin the grass cut In the private buryin buryn lot Int was only a few that he could think of ot offhand You aint a tenant Pinckney says I youre oure a philanthropist I feel that way wa says he At first firstI I know which was worse Sni vens or the urns But I know now it itis is the urns They are driving me to distraction Ah do a lap says I Course I give in that there might be better parlor par parlor parlor lor ornaments than potted ancestors specially when they the belog to some one else but they dont come extra do dothe they the I thought it was the twins that was you That is where the urns come in says he Here Fiere the youngsters are arenov areno arenow now nov no Step back in iI hero here and watch He pulls me into the next room where we could see through the draperies Theres a whoop and a hurrah outside the door bangs and in tumbles the kids with a nurse on behind The Tho youngsters makes a bee hee line for forthe fo forthe the mantelpiece and sings out Hello Grandfather Hello Aunt Sabina Look what we brought this time Stop it Stop It says sa s the nurse nurs her eyes out Boo Fraid cat yells the twins and nurs skips Then they the begins to unload the stuff lugged in it up alongside the urns out like auctioneers Theres some daisies for Aunt Sabina S And wild strawberries for Grandfather And a amud amud amud mud turtle for aunty And a birds bird birdsnest birdsnest s nest for Grandfather up the performance by join in hands and ant goin through a war dance Pinckney explains how this was only a sample of what had been goin on ou ever since they the heard tellin what was in the urns stood by b with their mouths and andears andears andears ears wide Avide open and nd then asked questions until every one was wore out to answer em cm But the real woe w came when the yarn arn got around among the servants and they begun leavin Aunt Mary could send out new ones from town Maybe the ki sll get tired of or It In Ina a few days says I Exactly what w at I r thought says Pinckney but bu they dont Its the best game they the can think of and if I allow them they will stay In here by bythe bythe bythe the hour cutting up for the benefit of Grandfather and Aunt Sabina Its morbid It gets on ones nerves neres My Uy aunt aunt says she cant stand it much long longer er and if she goes I shall have to break up If youre a friend of or mine Shorty ouli think of some way to get those youngsters interested in i something else Why Wh dont you buy em a pony cart says sa s I Ive bought two says sa s he and games and candy and parrots and mechanical me mechanical mechanical toys to s enough to stock a store Still they the keep this thing up And if you quit the domestic game the kids have to go to some home and you bak back to the club it says he And when Miss Gertie comes on and finds youve oue its all up be between between between tween you and her eh says sa s I Pinckney means cleans mA ns Gwan Givan says I Go take a sleep I With that I steps in and shows my myself myself myself self to the kids They yells and makes a dash for me Inside of or two min minutes utes Ive been b en introduced to Grand Grana Grandfather father and Aunt Sabina made to do doa a duck before both Jars and am plant planted ed on the haircloth sofa with a kid holdin either arm while they the puts me through the third degree They want information Did you ever seo see folks burned and put in Jars says sa s Jack Tack JackNo No says say I but Ive seen pickled ones jugged I hear youve oue got sot some ponies Two says sa s Jill spotted ones Would you ou want to be burned after you was a deader Better after aCter than before says sars I Wheres the ponies now What hat do the ashes look like says Jack Tack Are there any clinkers says sa s Jill Till Say SayI 7 I was down and out in the th they first round For every word I could get in about ponies they got in ten about them jars and when I leaves em they was a circus with Grandfather and Aunt Sabina supposed to be the reserved seats Honest It was enough to chill chIlI the spine of a morgue leper leeper By good luck I runs across through the hall See here you says sa s L I want to talk to you ou Beg pardon sir says sa s he backinoff off ofT real stiff and dignified but butAh butAh butAh Ah chuck it says I r and gettin hold of ot his collar playful like Youve youe been at the door Now Kow what do you OU think Hof of ot the way them kids Is carryn on In h there Its outrageous sir says JaYs he pu n up his cheeks checks Its scandalous young imps so they are sir Want to stop all that nonsense says I He says he does Then says sa s I you ou take them Jars down cellar and hide em In the coal bin He holds up both hands at that It cant be done sir says he been right there for twenty years without bein so much as moved They were very ery superior folks sir very su superior superior superior you ou put em in the tho attic then says I He He says its in the lease that the jars want to be touched says I a twenty at him forget the lease Say Sa he looks at that as longin as an East Side kid up a fruit cart Then he gives gies a shiver shier and shakes his head Not for a thousand sir says he I dare Youre an old goat says I And all the good god I did with my little whirl at the game but I tries to cheer Pinckney up by tellin him the kids want doin doln no harm hann But they are says sa s Pinckney raising the very ery mischief with my plans The maids are scared to death They say the house Is haunt haunted ed Four of them gave notice today toda Aunt Mary is packing her trunks and that means that I might as well give up Ill Inquire about a home to send them to this afternoon I guess it was about 4 and I Iwas Iwas Iwas was tr in to take a snooze in a ham hammock hammock hammock mock on the front porch when I hears the twins makin life miserable for Cor the gardner that was fixin the rose rosebushes rosebushes rosebushes bushes Lemme dig Pat says Jill Till Gwan ye young says sa s Pat Cant I help some says Jack Yes if yell yeH ell go off about a mile says Eay Pat Why dont the roses grow any anymore anymore anymore more asks Jill Its ashes on em they are says Pat J Ashes says Jack Ashes says Jill Then together tog ther Oh we know where theres ashes lots Well fetch em says Jill and with that I hears a up the steps I was just gettin up to chase c |