Show I Pat and the Conduit 1 L Interest the Office Boy 0 The Office Boy 1 himself upon a hIgh stooL The r reporter t orter stretched his legs yawned and applied a burning I I match to th owl of his corncob pipe This pr pret I ii inary nary ceremony finished he smIled at the Boy and said said pleasantly Well Midget dIdget Yep you youth say can you te tell l me Z What at do YOU want to knOW Its this Why do funn foolish jokes about Pat all the tIme asked the Office Boy drawIng hIs st stool ol olnear near the reporters desk and leaning on his elbows I Because Pat Is always bl blundering nde nS began thE th report reporter r where youre rummy inter interrupted Interrupted the youngster Pat aint such an easiness as you wIse cro cronIes crones nIes nes lIke to belIe e I have Inside in formatIon That youre thirsty The report reporters ers joke was lost on the Office Boy who seemed to be dreadfully in earnest earnesta a about somethIng think yure as cute as a health rood tood baby dont you he sneered Ive got something In my noOdle nodIe that puts Pat I to the Pat aInt no sort of man Why Aint Pat in on all the good things Lint E int Pat with a capItal P just about the whole show Pat he dont buy gold brIcks He sells em You dont notice Pat gettin thin over hard times do you What Pat I am about Why Pat Is Pat He is pat with the American party Dart for one thing or rather he Is nat Dat with the Americ n party for Just now low that is go goin n to net Pat O Pat and His Extras Heres the whole think in a quick tell You are a stranger In this town or you would Know Rat Every one has hiis heard of Pat One day he Is up upa a street and It out of busness for aU all summer next day he Is a mansion on Sunday he Is punch in holes through the cellins of a house housend md nd water pipes from the roof the coal shed Pat is busy all the tIme In Utah And he a nt busy for n neither ither Wh When n Pat does some somethIng something thIng yOU can bet yure last street car that he is ig do doin In it for Pat Pats latest and best stunt is good for as I said before Can an I do said Pat to himself Yes I conduit he answered hIm hImself himself self a few days later You YOU d dont nt know as yure a st nger in this town and never I use every summer this old burg runs shy of water About July when every thin is so hot that eggs will fry on the pavements and you youcan youcan can light a match on the roof of your mouth orders are given out that no noone one can wash their lawns or shirts only I certain hours usually 3 In n the mornIn Well it was decided to build a conduit from Big Cottonwood canyon into the city to bring natures precious fluid to the thirsty citizens and flowers good jk The plans lans were drawn up un and acce accepted ted and course if it was the work of the pipe When the work was accepted the plans dont f was lovely and beau But pretty soon another bunch gets the bossin of the town toIl Pat sits up and begins to holler sayin tie tHe specifications give him a chance to do good work See e the idea And be besIdes besides sIdes workmen were as sarce as fresh eggs at the time and that counted for fora a whole lot Right here Pat steps on the stage again and begins his wise My lIy old man worked on the conduit and I have kept my head ars you poor hunk of and heard him and old man Cassidy who lives next door to us when he aint with my In our hitch kitch kitchen hitchen en about this proposition I aint as simple as my freckles would make you believe Pat takes a walk among the new bosses and says things In their sound tanks That tank aint no good he whis whispers whispers pers What does it need they asked him Extras answers Pat What does extras mean they asked him thousand dollars Pat answers I I He tells teUs this fellow Kelsey how bum the conduit is Kelsey want to offend Pat seem as how Pat was goin to get Pat tells teUs thIs man Black bow bum the conduit Is Extras Is what at It needs he says Extras It needs as bad as I need that Now Black knows Pat is a generous fellow so like Kelsey he says Pat I guess yare right So the bunch of city dads and Mr Kelsey the engineer Mr Black and Pat goes down to the conduit Pat leads them through the hole them were it ought to have mores morel plas ter and where It to have so much and where It is gaIn to leak These is the extras I speak of gentlemen he be says Will you come Into my cabIn and eat some turkey and drink some fizzy juice While they are doin things to Pats t tarkey Pats oyster loaf Joa and Pats water they drInk toasts to Pat Pats health and whisper to each other that you youcan youcan can bet Pat knows what and andI I ant am goin to vote for them extras Pat Sure a Wise Guy why I wanted to know about these unearthly jokes about Pat They dont hold joke about the conduit Whether its up a street to chuck in extras or a conduit to pieces its all to the good with Pat He dont saw a board to tomake make It longer He pulls puBs hIs strings and certain kindhearted men in this great city throws wads of greenbacks at him every time he pulls What t Oh I dont mind doin doII this for you seem that yure a stranger but say when you meet hes a big good natured sort of a know Up tip yure hat to the wisest of the wise It aint every pro product product duct of the old sod what can get money for extras or everything from a new newhouse newhouse house to a reservoir I nearly forgot to tell you that Say its better to be bea a friend of the powers than the powers themselves dont you think |