Show t r j ON THE SIDE SIDEBy s By WAX W JONES JONESI I Horses try to run tun away with Secretary i Taft News item j I Note the tho try j 1 NAMES Stamboul La hat has lIa changed itt its ft name to ta Roosevelt 1 What has become of the cities chits that dotted The Th I map of f the he world before b fore bruins were potted polled Where is New York famed In tory dory and d ditty dilly i That Thai name of renown a lost loit in in Roosevelt City I San Francisco where Roosevelt once made madea madeI I a speech chi chiI I Is I known now as Roosevelt down bythe I Beach Bach BachAnd I And the French nation changed with a 1 hearty good will IThe The old name of Paris to 10 I Berlin is i now edburg T and London Landon is i ready In accordance with fashion to name itself ibelE Teddy America Americas old and a twitch switch it i is now planned The country will soon become Roosevelt Land While White Roosevelt Planet will shortly have hav birth i iA As A the modern modem name for the fue hoary old Earth I police dogs doge have hare arrived and they will undoubtedly be more useful than policemen In is detecting cats DIARY OF A COLLEGE PRESIDENT RESIDENT Now ow that Harvard has baa 2000 2 OO acres of woods for the study of r forestry and Princeton a lake for the study of rowing Its up to me to ro get busy Good luck tuck was easy cas 1 I got I acres of or canebrake from him for tor th the study of ot bear hunting and President Roose Roosevelt Roosevelt Roosevelt I velt has consented to open our new acqui acquisition acquisitIon acquisition with a shot at the tho first bear we can obtain came across with a range or o mountains today and our mountaineer mountaineering fug ing n course for the sons Ions of millionaires wilt will I Inow Inow now be unexcelled Twenty Swiss guides guide will be added to the faculty and I hope nope by hard tard work to get enough money to tomake tomake make nake ours an ideal climbing course My All Idea IK is I to fashion each peak after some IOme hazard such luch as the Matter horn norn Thus Thua our students will hare have an ex example example example ample of ot every kind in one range Got a fine ocean yesterday Our course coarse In steam yachting will be the the foremost la to lathe the th country I Our new continent is 13 a wonder Courses Connes in exploring and big game shooting also In civilizing the natives will be formed at ot once Other colleges madly jealous 1 am now trying to get a planet or a sun for practical astronomy Hran is misunderstood says gays sa an inti tatt intimate Intimate mate friend Alast the erring are ever eyer misunderstood I BY BY WIRELESS I CHICAGO A balloon was W S seen passing lorer over the city today but unfortunately ly none of the shots fired at a t it took effect land and Its identity was consequently not learned PARIS Delegates to the Peace Confer Conter Conference Conference ence were greatly gr disappointed on learning that they had eaten only worth of dinners One Oue delegate remarked bitterly bit bitterly bItterly terly Why Ive Ie got Indigestion and 1 I Ineer never neer got it before under worth of or dinner to my own score NASHVILLE President Roosevelt says he be care I JACK SWIZZLES TICKS FORTUNE CHAPTER I eaves taves ate the th tank bank bankIt It was Jack first day In I New York Wonderingly he gazed cued at the 1 portals of the Singer building at Trinity churchyard ardth the only place that reminds one of at home and at the great reat Wall Street offices One day he be said to himself i l I will be a power in this city I Just then Jack noticed a 1 crowd of at people in front of a bank His quick eye e toil toU him there was trouble and stepping inside be ha asked the president what was wrong I j A run on the bank brokenly replied the financier i iI Is there no back exit asked the ready I witted Jack JackNo Jacki i No Xo that Just the trouble replied I President i I J will save savo yon you i l cried Jack Yon ton look so like an old friend of or mine In the Way War I I II back pen penI f I flushing out o t Jack turned in a fire alarm alum and when the engines arrived he turned the hose on the waiting crowd In a Jiffy the bank was cleared and find President Beau Deall bake dashed for his bis auto The news that the tho ruu run had been stopped was received with Joy by the beautiful Letitia |