Show I i In the Days News I 1 r By C B QUINCy I Those se present In the d White House today when a number I i of snakes crawled across the floor T i j were greatly relieved when Quentin Roose Roosevelt Roosevelt I velt gathered up the wrigglers and put I them iu lu a sure enough bag For a time j another Fairbanks cocktail Incident was i feared NEW YORK TORK Speaking to a mass meet meeting meeting ing In of ot schoolboys on the proposal to re introduce corporal punishment into the I schools shoots Patsy Moran denounced the move more i ment as an on attack upon the very seat of liberty and a n plot to strike freedom from fromI I behind Every schoolboy present promised I to o write a letter opposing corporal punish I went ment and mall mail It to the newspapers under i I the signature of Paterfamilias or Head lead of a I Family I LONDON In consequence co of ot the report that the Bishop of London is Ia to play lawn tennis te against President Roosevelt seventy three clergymen have hae already applied for the bishopric WASHINGTON The following patents have been issued Electric which can also be used to spank the baby Typewriter to be used as an nn eggbeater j i In Its spare time I Turkish rug changeable into a handkerchief chief chiet I Expanding nickel for use as a quarter in ingas InI I gas meters I Doughnut which may be worn ns us a ring Combination washboard and massage vi brator Combination whiskey and bottle Bed which folds fol s Into a pretzel inedible during the day LONDON LONDO A weekly paper offered a 1 prize of ot for the best line to supply the blank In the following limerick There teas lea a young man of o Yew X W York Fork Whose flask leuk was teas fM stopped topped tip up 1 with a cork nut hut to get oct him a drink dink Why what do you flail think The winning line was He lIe pulled puffed the blame thing with a fork fort Another which provoked brisk tion was There was tea a young girl in Son Ban S n Jose Who found a deep stream in her way teal She Rug cd right through Thou she ruined her shoe lad Anil the color all ran in her lIer host hose hols By this plan one line is bound to rhyme with the first NEW ORLEANS Louisiana Is making great preparations for tor the canebrake hunt Dentists are carefully examining the tee teer Ji of all the peccaries and sharpening any that ire are blunt Furriers are removing j I mothballs from the bears and the bobcats are given bien large arse saucers of milk mUk dally daily PARIS The new military airship ex exceeded exceeded exceeded a l speed of fifty miles mites an hour for tor fora tora a short distance The record was made In la laa Ina ina a downward direction QUEENSTOWN QUEE The going twentythree knots passed a a i given point pointon i on Daunts tock Rock In 40 minutes Of a Color ColorI f I I see by the papers iS that a girl drank drunk a aI I bottle bottIe of Ink yesterday and almost died from the effects of oC It It j il Did they arrest arr ost her for attempted j suicide I I 1 II No Xo it happened In Pittsburg and she I explained that she took It by mistake for tor the milk Youths Companion |