Show r b Shaking Up the Forces Forces By Bj WEX JONES JONESt HE DE tide ride Ii ordered for army officers hay hav ha v CHE t C tae las prowl proved so successful la in the opinion of all but bat the fat majors and cn err c aea elx President Roosevelt has baa ordered mary easy captains captain and admirals to swim shorn ashore from tram their ships or lose lode their jobs In Ie his hla order President Roosevelt says Bays that tat In time of war a Ii ship might be sunk bj by the nemy nemT In which case officers who could not swim would be incapable of con coa would in addition tinning the fight light and I their consorts by gulping down so O i much of the ocean Officers properly quail fled Ced could on the other hand swim to the ships and gnaw holes in them thereby causing them to sink rapidly In accordance with the order all ajl captains and admirals In the fleet going through the Straits of ot Magellan will dive dIe overboard of the and swim through the straits ahead ic tc squadron at once showing their ability command a ship In to wartime and acting as pilots to the fleet flet t by hitting bitting submerged reefs with their knees kneesAll kneesAll All AU Secretaries will also be put through a II course Ourse of sprouts Each of them will wUl willbe willbe be required to write out a Presidential speech legibly and underline the parts best adapted to leakage In addition each Secretary will be required to do a specialty Secretary Wilson will dig di a It garden and nud besides of huckleberries hoe hoc two acres pruning a field Held of ot corn Secretary Taft will wUl be asked to ride fifty I miles the horses being paid for fir by the Government Secretary toot Root will wUl be asked ask cd to boost Wall Street In a speech in Portuguese Secretary Cortelyou will HI lie he required to collect half a million In lu half halt a day Secretary task tas will be to to be belay bel bellay belay lay the spinnaker In a n heavy gale and box lox the compass twenty rounds for points point I 1 Supreme Court Judges jud es will wUl be timed on I unconstitutional I declaring a given Jien law Foreign Forel n Ambassadors will wUl be tried out outon outon outon on the White House tennis courts By this means It 1 Is s hoped that all nIl de departments departments of the Government and nud the ser services services services to the standard set vices will be kept up by the leader |