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Show MISCELLANEOUS. Counter claims Your wife's shopping shop-ping bills. We suppose Tweed will smoke the "Boss" cigar in Cuba, Chic:igu Tribune. Tri-bune. Yes, it they Havana. "The rich," said a Dutchman, "eat venison because it ith deer. I eat mutton because it ish sheep." How striking ! Messrs. Hitz & Kichs keep 'a Inger-bier saloon up town. N. Y. Com. Advertiser, An Indianapolis monkey ate a box of piils and died. They ape-rieutly didn't work well. Xew Haven Journal. Jour-nal. Scotch saying A doar plaat w1 a mrn's name On's a vaary Ond thing, but a dinner plaat w' a mon's dinner on's a bitter. The Philadelphia Press club hr.s electtd Mr. Moiwitz as its vice president. presi-dent. They have more-wits there than wo gave them credit for. The Louden Rothschild 13 dead, and every poor devil of an editor remarks re-marks that "money could not save him." Poverty don't save a man either. "That's a great victory for 'the right,' " said a friend of Spilkin'a the other day, alluding to the French elections. "Yes, over 'the left,' replied re-plied Leandcr. An accomplished book - keeper wishes us to say that he will give any man $10,000 a yearwno will procure for him the position of confidential clerk of Mr. Alkali Babbit. The intensely poetical editor of the Austin (Tex.) Jicccitli describes a recrnt gorgeous sunset in that vicinity as resembling a ripe pumpkin wrapped in an American flag. The library committee ol congress have ordered a bust of the late Chiel Justice Taney. Just hy way of contrast, con-trast, 1 hey think of buying a spree of Zach Chandler at tho same time. Twelve hacks went over to the 4. -15 train yesterday afternoon and brought buck one passenger, which is an average av-erage of four cents a back. And yet people wonder why hack men are pro fane. Man "Do you tliink it would be cafe for me to cross this pasture?" Maid "Well, the old bull don't like red very much, but if you will chalk your nose I guess he won't attack you." Bret Hartc admits that he learned the printer's trade. He says ho could work six quarts of type a day on a hand press, aud could correct a roller as good as anybody. Detroit Free Press. "You ain't afraid to die," said tlm clergyman tenderly. "No," replied the sufferer, "I'm only afraid that il I do the old woman will go snooting amone my private papers the first thing." The time when a man fully realizes real-izes that woman's sphere should be enlarged U when ho finds that bis washerwoman has mistaken his stockings stock-ings tor his shirt bosom, and starched them accordingly. "Which accounts for the unusually interesting papor we publish this week," as the young man, temporarily tem-porarily left in charge of a rural exchange ex-change said, when he announced his boss's absence in New York. When a man detects a missing button after getting on a clean shirt, no one in the bouse is aware of tho fact, Ho takes the shirt of and puts on another, r,uiet!y emilinc all the time. Ho never, never pj.eiiks uf it to a eon I. A young woman in Chicago put her false teeth in a glass of water nt night, and awoke in tho morning to Hurt tlicrn imbedded in a solid chunk ot ice. rihe was late at breakfast, the proccrs of thawing out the teeth with a bonfire of matches having been slow. |