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Show IiLLSOiS. N. -t; iiiL,' to bi'auiiii.a as ''j.u-h'' r- p-.-nLinee. F;:tI:iwol i;rAv:ty !.l it yoiu- 'wu . i Mrs. IX-d-H. of Elm. .re, :vi vurt th:it hen-::'t' r Lor hn.-b.i: mus: "cu iiwown h-tl or st irve." io w.-n'tl -;ty hU dcbU. j Tin-re notiiin;.' nu.re calriilntt-d to ' Wcitken a Lkv'b iuur.il cLia muter tii;iu Lu L his tiiLun ho-'k. U.-tvned tin rubbUh in tne river. i Whilo an Indum vp .'lis jiiani .lis'. v.i.-i wriliut; an ;u-eouiil of i biu--i.iry his own rixim w:is hrokra into :md ransacked by tnieves. A New York man has ehr'tened his duiihtL-r Olyeeriiio. He ;.y.s u will be can' tov1-1'1' nitro it her temper tem-per rt-cembleu her mother's. A reverend gentleman at Woud-lord Woud-lord explains th;tt his intentiuiia wi-n-strictly honorable when lie spoke of that "dam rerx'rvoir" at Mill river. There art? no bou-"iuoU about a ue"papcr oriice, but sometimes 1 1 it p;wie-rup aeqrired a maturity wiiich by any other name could smell ad sweet. . A TennCrAco man wrote bis will on a paper cullar, and it padded through the Probate Court as welled any other will, ttiouiili little unhandy about li'infi. "He is so lure,"' said a Marseillaise, Marseil-laise, .speaking of a hi; ieilow, "so large that when he happens to have colli feet, it Ukes a fortnight for the cold to show itaelt' in his head." There is a mule in East Wheeling, W. Va., win) had kicked the roof o!5 his stable every niylit for the past week, in addition to knocking the squeal out of a family of pigs. A Jscw York paper gravely observes ob-serves that the tmieide 01 a fanner, which it ' noticed, "id singularly strange, inasmuch ad be baa not been in the habit of doing such things." A St. Louis paper bad a two-column account of a hotel of that city. The betlbugd, after reading it over carefully, care-fully, held a meeting and denounced the p.iper for not mentioning them. A young lady asked a clerk in the Wisconsin News Company's store yesterday if he had "Festus." "-No," replied the clerk, "hut I'm alraid a boil is coining on the back of my neck." Lady Amberley. shortly before her death, "spoke of the great scope cremation cre-mation would give for the love of survivors sur-vivors to show itself in exquisitely gemmed urns.'' But alas for poverty and earthenware! There is a good boy in Lisbon, il we may believe the Lewis ton Ju" ",J who, when be found his aged mother's Bible was of too line print for her failing eyesight, sold the book and bought a baa ball bat and four sticks of chewing candy. An Ottumwa boy charged a stump with blastiug powder, attached a fust to blow it up, 11 nd got on the fence to see the fun. He isn't collected enough ye', to tell how funny it was, although the citizens are collecting bun in different dif-ferent parts Of the suburbs. A pious soul giving expression to hid devotional leelings in a short speech in church, said: "I shall never cease to love and rev re the name of my dear Saviour, nor can 1 ever forget how his name look:; in the Bible, n it is there spelled J-c-a-s-o-u-s." While a youthful couple were being joined in wedlock in a Justice's court in New York, the damsel rather astonished as-tonished a number of spectators by suddenly breaking out with, "1 want to know whether wc are to keep house orboosd, before going into tins thing!" A John Bull who had been introduced intro-duced to the Emperor of Russia, kepi pacing the steamer's deck, exclaiming exclaim-ing "The Czar is great! the Czar is great!" "Yes," said a bystander, "but God is greater." "Oh, to be sure," was Bull's reply; "but then, you know, the Czar is young yet.'' |