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Show KKtKGS. A -ii.IlMv at Louisville Ww xkA "WlKit'b a s.r;iil'-"' liorrtiieJ ltii u-K-her ly r-.'1'lyiiiL,', '"It U-.Ls two puir. ' ' A li.ihhiioiv Kiy' tlKarjlit lie w;s P'"ivcnn! tx mueii, :nd lie hid ia the cel!;ir for fuitrtt-en d.tys I'elore he W;ib found. A so.ip t-.kUer lt.i- stul the ll.irt-fonl ll.irt-fonl J'o.it lor .lO.Ui diim.iye.i fr calling him u nuis.uin'. 1 lieiv's a lye KiniL'whcre. A Cincinnati woman can't 6-e why the tire d n.trttnent w.uius so nuu-ii leather I10.-C. he things it imist chafe their K'g in suiuiner. L"Cal juva.-hers in Illinois have struck a n v win ami entitle their sermons "arc of eltihs," ''the last murder," "handsome, jjirla," etc. Three years ago a person wns privileged privi-leged to view all the Ka!b of INiaga-ra. INiaga-ra. hy paying tii'iy ci'nt? ts cross the lridi:e tu d'oat Island. Now it cu&Ui $11.00. This is a Chicago man's experience at Long ljrauch. He says lie was bathing between two eastern D. D.'s, and lie came out so dry that he didn't necl a towel. A young Kentucky David took his little sling the other day and deposited deposit-ed a stone hi the eye nf i corpulent two-year-old Goliali. Thechil recov-d ercd, but, not the eye. . A brother in a Thursday night prayer-meeting at Lft Crosse added to his prayer: '"And that fellow who stole my horse hit him wilh a thunder-bolt before he gets over into Iowa." , A A"iscons"m thief stolo a parson's sermons, but pawned his last stolen watch to purchase, sackcloth and ashes after reading them, and returned re-turned them in great depression of -spirits. . . The following is the copy of a notice no-tice posted up in a, field in South London; "Ladies and gentlemen fire requested not to steal turnips. Other persons, if detected, will be prosecuted." prose-cuted." A local geologist of Tcrrc Haute ' says that any person having a taste for gold mining can clear from forty to sixty cents a day almost anywhere in Vigo county. Ind. A family of four had a bill of $5o0 for one week's sojourn at f. certain hotel at Long Branch. Of this sum 81-10 was for board 'and lodging. The "extras" footed up the balance. A New York paper thinks all drinking drink-ing fountains ought to have basins attached to them within reach of dogs so that the animals won't need to cool their tongues by licking the ice left at people's doors. A young gentleman at Kansas Citv sent seventy-five cents to New York recently for a method of writing with-; with-; out pen and ink. He received the following inscription, in large typo on a card: "Write with a pencil," An insane man married a riiiladcl-phia riiiladcl-phia woman and lived with her four weeks before she found out that he was a lunatic nnd she might never hive known it had she not hit liiin on the head with a coflec pot. Death is not looked upon, as the king of terrors in Dubuque. A man whose wife was buried the other day went to work right after the funeral mending the gate, and was heard sinking "Teu thousand miles away." They talk of business men as lacking lack-ing in proper appreciation of holy things, and yet English tradesmen centuries ago valued an "angel" of ten shillings storling, whilst theological theologi-cal etymologists define it as "one sent," Barman's big horse: '"The animal spoken of is the colt of a Shetland pony, po-ny, and ia about two and a half-feet high. A man six feet high, standing erect on an ordinary chair, would find it impossible to reach the top Of the colt's back." For these ten years past, says the Detroit IWe 1'rcss, a Cincinnati butcher has been selling meat on a pair of scales weighing fourteen ounces to the pound; but they have caught him ot last, just as lie is finishing fin-ishing off a stone house with a Mansard Man-sard roof. A physician, oil presenting his bill to the executor of the estate of a deceased patient, .asked: "Do you wish to have the bill sworn? " "No," replied the executer, "the death of the deceased is sufficient evidence that you attended liim professionally.;' profession-ally.;' It is singular what a little thing will put a man out. A Jersey City lawyer was making a high-flown speech the other day, telling about angels' tears, weeping willows, and silent tomb stones, when his honor said, "Confine your remarks to the dog-fight case. " The lawyer sat down. |
