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Show INKLINGS. Paradoxical as it may sceni, people who are inclined to be fat arc generally the least inclined to be so. "Jack,-yonr -wife is not so pensive as she used to be." "No, she has left off that and turned expensive. ' ' A correspondent says there is no newspaper in his town, but there is a ladies' sewing circle that answer? the same purpose. Josh Billin.cs- says : "Sekret.-, are kussed poor property ennyhow; if you circulate them you luze them, and if you keep them you hue the interest on the investment." A gentleman traveling in Ireland said to a very importunate beggar, "You have lost all your teeth.'' The beggar quietly replied, "An it's time I parted with 'em when I'd nothin' for 'em to do." A man was divorced from his wife and she married another, whereupon husband .No. 1 inquired of No. 2. "What relation are you to me?" "None, that I know., of." "Ye., you are." ?aid No. 1; "you are my step- husband,! stepped out and you stepped in." . "You are very stupid, Thomas," said a country teacher to a little boy eight years old. "You are a little donkey, and what do they do to cure them of stupidity?" "Theyfeed them better and kick them less," said the arch little urchin. , An irascible old gentleman was taken with sneezing in the cars lately. After sneezing, in a spasmodic way eight or ten times, he arrested the paroxysm for a time, and extracting his handkerchief, handker-chief, he thus indignantly addressed his nasal organ : "Oh, go on, go on ; you'll blow your iufernal brains out presently!" - A gentleman playing cards at Baden Baden was much annoyed by an inqnis- itive stranger, who stood beside him and pried into his hand. At last he took a pinch of snuff and administered it to his tormentor, saying, "I beg your pardon, sir, but you were so near me that I mistook your nose for my own." ceue at a meetinn at Preston, Kng- j land: "Take thy hat off," said one fellow in the crowd to another in front of him. "What for?" "Why, aw cannot see." "Well," replied the other, "if aw take my hat off thou'U be worse off than ever. -My yare (hair) is thirteen inches long, and it stands straight up. I've put my hat on to keep it down."' A conceited fellow, who prides himself him-self on being able to explain and understand under-stand everything, uas present durinp a conver.-iitii.n about apple butter, lie had never heard the term before, and coiimieNci.l repintiiiL' it to him-elf, when one of his ti ieirls said to him : "Perhaps you il. -n't know what apple butter i.- '. " " Hi, yes, 1 do." w.n the answer: "I suppo-o it is made from the milk ol'ci.ws lid on apples. |