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Show INKLINGS. A lady in Q y. LI., ha.- the greatest great-est waterfall record, having shed tears incessuiuh tar three weeks. Her husband says the old bonnet is good 1 enough. A clerk in an Erie hotel lias a magnificent mag-nificent scheme in view. It is a circular circu-lar hotel, to n:t on a pivot like a locomotive turntable. The object is to give every guest a "front room." Old Gent (disgusted) "Here, wa;-ter, wa;-ter, here's a a a caterpillar in th soup!" "Waiter (flippantly) "Yi sir. About the time of the year just now for them, sir.'' A popular essayist says: ''Pcrhap the great triumph of all moral w.. tings, including sermons, is that, t least, they have produced some sweei and innocent sleep." An inebriate man, walking along the street, regarded the moon with sovereign sove-reign contempt . "You needn't feel so proud," he said, "you are only full once a month, and I am full every night." It is a coincidence that the "counterfeit "counter-feit presentiment" of a very beautiful lady, exhibited in the "ew York Academy Acad-emy of Design last spring, was by Ames, the artist, while another Ames is now the possessor of the original. A preacher at Waushara, Wisconsin, Wiscon-sin, has been discharged for being personal per-sonal to his hearers. He said, "If I should take a barrel and fill it with the Holy Ghost, and another with whisky, and call this congregation up and let you take your choice, the whisky would be gone first." Eaton Rapids has a maguetic spring M) charged with electricity that a man, after drinking a quantity of the water, went into a blacksmith shop, while talking with the blacksmith, sat down on the anvil. When he got up, the anvil stuck fast to him, and he had to have it amputated. A gentleman of San Juan informs the Monterey Californian that a yrung man of that place by the name of Gol-der Gol-der Slankard, on the San Benito, a short time since, killed two bears with one bullet. At the time he fired the bears were standing iu range, and the bullet penetrated through both of them before it had spent its force. A man with four wives was brought before Hans Swarthart, a Mohawk Justice, for commitment on the charge of bigamy. "Four vifes!" exclaimed the astonished Hans, "four vifes! dat vas a most hinoious crimes ! Discharge him at vonst!" "Why," protested the prosecutor, "why discharge hiui when the proof is positive ? Will the court explain?" "Yes, I eckshplain. Off he Ills mit fuur vifes, he got bun-Ishmenfc bun-Ishmenfc enough. I lif mit von, und I hal'got too much bunishment already." A nice little boy in Pittsburg went to the circus the other day, and amused himself by throwing stones at the elephant ele-phant while he was drinking. When -he got through the boy tried to propitiate propi-tiate him by offering him a piece of gingerbread. Befoie accepting the cake, the elephant emptied about sixty -fuur gallons of water, beer measure, over the boy, and then slung him into the third tier to dry off. The boy is very indifferent about circu.-se now. He says he believes he doesn't care for them as. much as he used to. |
