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Show J IXKLIAGS. Thi,' ''one-flnjli" that iiu Indiana couple were recently made weighed l,OU0 lbs. avoirdupois. A California reporter secured an item weiuliiiiir 100 pounds, and worth l,(A)U,(JUO. "No cards. What is the difference between a chilly man aud a hot &oz '! One wears a great coat, and the other pants. A witness was called to the stand to give his testimony. Having taken his place, he turned to the bar and earnestly 'inquired : "Which side am I on '!' ' The Kochester Chronicle tells of a little boy who "fell into a vat of boiling boil-ing water and was drowned." It was a miracle that he was not scalded to death. LmtixciHc Courier-Journal The Pittsburg method of stopping a c;ir is to shoot the driver. The plan was introduced a few days ago by Mr. Joseph Koylston, who is now agitating his invention in the courts. In u vault under a Trenton church a petrified cat is said to have been discovered, dis-covered, belonging, probably, to the species of ruquies-cat often engraved in sione in such situations. Dr. Doremus says if he were challenged chal-lenged to fight a duel he would suggest to his opponent that both should take poison, and then sit down and play poker for the exclusive use of the stomach pump. "Please." said a lit t If boy io milk vender, "mamma says she don t like to buy milk of you." "Why not? Don't I give her good measure 'I "l'os; but mamma says you feed your cows on such watery turnips." "Do you believe in the rod as an instrument of discipline?" asked a mother of a school teacher in Nevada, to whom she had taken her only son. "No, madam." "Oh, I'm so glad! What do you substitute for it?" "The revolver, madam." Kxit mother and unruly son. A man in Chicago has a pair of boots that were made for him when he was married thirty years ago. He has only used them for wedding boots since; but he has lost so many wives, and wedded so much, that they are badly worn. He says they can't stand more than three more weddings, nor he either. A woman wect to a circus in Terre Haute, Ind. , accompanied by eleven children, and when a neighbor a.-ked her where the old man was, she said he was at home taking care of the children. Another neighbor called at the house, and seeing the old man trying to amuse nine young ones, asked where the old lady was. lie said he had let her go to the circus with the children. A new loom was exhibited a few days since in Providence, and was operated by the iiiTcntor in presence of a large number of manufacturing and business men, which produces cloth of the be.-t quality at an enormous enor-mous rate of nearly a thousand yards a day. |