Show A Winner r and nd a Lose loserA f Matrimonial fable I By Dorothy Dix x N upon a Time T me there thore were two O Young Bearol Bearo es B who dwelt in a tL porton of OL Massachusetts that th t re resembled reo Heaven HeRven because there were ware sever seven Women in It to one Man ManNow ManNow ManNow Now broth both of oC the e were most Charring Charming and a hd Intelligent Creatures Creature and I to Adorn any Society Furthermore they had had the ad advantage advantage vantage of oC being brought up by a Mother who was wise wJ e to the ne Game of Life Ufe so they Passed PaNed up the Girl Bach Bachelor elor and amI Latch Key proposition a the Start tart and did dirt not Weary Teary the Public by running any Bluff about the Glen Glori Glorious Glenous ous Privilege of Supporting herself be being being ing lug a 2 Cinch Cinch for a Female On tie tae contrary they the said a s Good Home biome 10 is l worth Two Careers any jay of oC the week and we opine that any Feminine Creature will find it less Ins Fa Fatiguing Fatiguing to Work a husband than thai it is isto Isto isto to work a Type Writer Unfortunately the elder of the two Sisters had not been Present when the distribution of Good Looks was as being baing made and she was a trifle Shy on Beauty but when It came to Intellect she was Sally I 1 perceive she remarked re to herself that there Is nothing In the marrying line In this Neck eck of ot the Woods and that anybody who expects to Boom Business will Lave to present some New and Taking Novelties I X am also aware that I 1 would not Toot cut ant much Ice In a 0 Show Showy o ot of Female Pulchritude but here Is Where I Win Out on My Great Head 1 Z 1 have carefully studied the masculine masculine line Une Ideal of the f Female and when It comes to being that I am strictly the Baked Beans From the Books I have rend read and the I t have heard Talk I 1 gather that what a Masculine Creature admires ad admires admires mires most is a Female Creature who ho takes serious of Life and who has hall no Vanities and Affectations 1 I have observed that Masculine Masculin Creatures are always rapping Fem Fern mine Creatures for tor their Devotion to Dress and that they Deplore the Fact Fac t that Feminine Creatures spend so a o much Valuable Time In trying to Make Ma ke themselves Beautiful Instead of ot en engaging engaging engaging in some come Useful Pursuit So it is up to me for the Natural Waist and the Bang aLl J to t o give a Cinematograph Picture of all aU aUtho the tho Virtues Masculine Creatures ad admire admire admire mire most in Females and with that t the elder eldor sister cut the Fashions adopted Rational national Dress Reform arid and d devoted dov ted herself to doing Household Stunts The younger Sister on the other hand was a Beauteous Creature with wl more blonde Curls than Brains She Shedid Shedid Sh e did not have a Single Theory about Life Lire but sho she had a Habit of Getting Gettin There Thre re all ail the same without them Neither would she have recognized recognize d an Rn Ideal if u she had met It on the th e street but hut che she had observed that It is i ithe s the Female with the Slip Slippers Slippers pers pens and the Pompadour Locks and an anthe d the Skirts who is fed on o u Lobster and Chocolate Creams and an d she Opined that that was all she need needed needed needed ed to Know in her Business so she s e spent her Time rime in frivolous amuse amusements amusemEnts amusements ments and it h keeping her Paws In a 0 I Inice nice Squeezable Condition Now No all the old Married Animals in inthe i ithe n I Ithe the Forest were never novel weary of tout touting touting ing jug the elder Miss Boar Bear as the greatest t prize in the Matrimonial Lottery See Ree they cried here Is a R Fe Fema Ferna ma rna Creature Crea nrc at last who realizes realize th the Masculine Ideal of or a Perfect Fern Fem Feminine l em mine Inin Creature Cre ture She does not care for Dress Sh ShIt She SheI e It t I Industrious and Economical and has h as mn none of ot those tho o little Feminine Weak t that we are always Knocking Knockin g In her S Sex x As 8 a Perfect Wife she sh e ull be M the tho Real Thing Nay nay Pauline not for us re replied replied plied the Unmarried Masculine Ani Animals mats mals she he be is indeed e a noble Creature re and from a R distance we admire her he r Greatly but we do not desire de lre to come com e any Rny nearer ne She comes up to our Ideal but she sh e dm does s not Fire our Fancy for while whit e w we p Respect a Female Creature for fo er r her hor Good Qualities we love lore her for tor fo r Her Faults a Personally we do de d not care for tor Per feet Creatures anyway and when It 1 t comes come to Marrying we e are ready to t o pass Miss MIs Susan B up for little Toot f j j t t t t I I I I I I I of the googoo eyes every time Whereupon the Masculine Animals all aU hied awa away and paid court to the Younker Younger Sister Stater while the Older Sister remained r Wedded to her Theories MORAL This Fable teaches why the Women men who are am fitted to be Per j I wives whoa always remain Old Maids DOROTHY DIX DI |