Show THE CONQUESTS OF CONSTANCE Switchboard Operator at the tho Hotel Rich BY ALMA ALlIA Y WOODWARD ARD Copyright 15 1 2 by the thc Trees company the New ew York World TilE THC DUll know knot Im I'm Just goin bughouse house Y with all all this election holler holier r Connie told me Every Everyone one seems to be ue In It for fer blood this year car Wh Why the other day three men come comeIl l I up to tills this here an an all asked fer tho the number an I only had ha l one ono wire that Well sa say one jI a n. Taft Tatt man an an another n. n Democrat an the r I third a Bull I UZ in a happy happ position 1 uz uz What they callin each other over my head lieal to nobody An I could see my mr finish comin toward me inc on rollers when all uv U Ua a sudden I got rot a a. abright bright bri ht Idea I idea I told em em the thc number busy Well who would you vou vote for if It you oU had a vote ote I Inquired gingerly I 1 dont don't want to vote understand I think a is a little bit uy uv dwindled led down clown to a a. point but If It I uz a man Id I'd vote oto fer a a. buster Im I'm stuck on those big fellows what are arc always alwa's read ready with their fists I you jOU got another conquest st up your our sleeve anywhere I asked as carelessly as possible Another one one Constance looked her bor wrath Yell Well say Iny you OU dont don't suppose that that there blue list I give yuh uh Is tho whole uv Uy the hearts 1 i smashed do yuh ull uh Great guns If it I couldn't a a 1 raked raicel In more burning affections than what I told you rou about Id I'd go bO down in Inthe Inthe the tho cellar an an a gas has tube I got Sot a a. barrel moro more And tho the next ono one was I led lcd on from tho the terrible outburst The liThe next one uz the Dub she sho said slowly Just a n plain everyday dub with Ills his hair hall parted in the tue middle He lie ha had l such soft sort gentle ways wars I Ireal real really got mush mushy about him an say sa when hen I goin oln with him I put the chloroform cone cono on all this cause cauSo he didn't like it I Ho IIo the sort uv u ubo bo boy to marry nn an have around the house because be because because be- be cause he the kind to J kick lck if yuh uh give him lamb stew three times a n. week fer ter dinner an an hed he'd always brush up his own ashes But sa say he 10 wua uz SUCH SUCHa a dub It would a been all right If Ir I could couldn a n been alone with him all the time cause then he lie Just sweet an lovcy O 0 But the tile minute some other come around why wh all they the had to do sn say the tue word an hed he'd Jump over or through anything they held bait up up a a DUB DUR I 1 thought Itt It uz a shame to see all that gentleness go o to waste waste Ole he made good mone money tool an tool an I knew It If hed he'd only buck up a bit hit when folks wu TU around Id I'd tb tie tie- to him fer good So I says to him one ono day 5 Say Sa Joe dont don't yuh uh nev never r feel like pastin a 0 feller cifer In the eye when h he throws a lot uv Uy hot air into yuh Why yuh uh seem to lap It up Just lust like yuh Juh a a. bellows An he said It a. Oh what's the use of ot getting into trouble when It isn't necessary Just like 1110 that Didn't even eyon sa say aay it classy class like JIlee I should got get excited or something something- like that up to So I seen ho he hopeless I u uv uthe the time maybe mahe when hen hed he'd he be out uv U Ua a Job an an tho feard come como cometo comoto to turn off aU the gas baR In our flat fiat an Joed say raj Why yes yc go to right light ahead mister insl instead ad uv ut knockin the slut slut- tin fin out U uv him So I quit Id I'd a had to do 10 all tho thorough thorough rou rough h stuff sturt m myself after otter we wu married married mar mar- ried an nil ta say lookin for ter Jobs all m my life handed me enough uv U that I wanted to look forward to a rest |