Show i 0 cD 0 Jon 4 t h i Y t M fi tt ff l r rJ J 0 k SOME E DARK DR SECRETS OF S LIFE Copyright 1912 by bv the Tress Press Co the tb thee en e York World R. R JARR RR was greatly Interested i ithe In M MR tho the recital of or th e theatrical theatrical the the- adventures ad of young oun Mr MI stage name Sidney Slavin the Dublin Dancing Dancing- Dandy You of or the younger generation ar arquite are arequito quite quito up ui to date he remarked after surveying the young joung- mans man s advanced advance fashions in snappy haberdasher haberdashery haberdashery haber haber- dasher and headgear In the sho show business youve you've got t to tobe tobe be there with the up to stuff for fair replied the dapper dappe young oung man You gotta beat em t tit to it oven even If It you OU dont don't see sea It first int Besides Be Bo Besides sides that you ou gotta gott be up In the so social I vial cial sidelines Im I'm a White Rat an at i Elk an Eagle a a. Moose Sort o of human animal act Interposed Interposed Interposed Inter Inter- I posed Mr 11 Jarr Well Im I'm the Big Time bo boy if it I l' dosay do dosay dosay say It myself m replied young oung Mr Ir Sla vinsky Gee how you jou OU hate yourself 1 t sale said Mr Ir Jarr Well rell If It you OU dont don't kid yourself along who will asked tho the astute astuto young clU citizen en of the world worl I guess Im I'm better of off doln doing a refined specialty than going around putting in coal coal Or glass added Mr l Jarr Yes or gla glass s said young youns- Mr Slav Slav- Insky Look at my m father He lie works hard he has a big family and a small Income And the older ohler he gets gels an anthe and the l less ss work v he can do tho the less mone money he makes You'll grudge a poor old hobo a few jitneys to put In a ton of or coal and Bill Billy Watson will do a tramp specialty for OO a a. week Tho Tile more moie useless a n mans man's work worl Is s tho the more money mono he makes And that's wh why youve you've picked out a parasite profession asked Mr JarrIt Jarr think It is It Isn't the snap you replied the young oung man You gotta get g-ct new stuff sturt all tho the time You gotta Jotta change your our act You gotta know lenow what tho the public wants and you ou gotta oUa get ot It over o Just now note tho rho drag IB It forthe for tor the comedian who v Jd kids 8 his aU audience lenco and That calls for Cor your our being natural and there with tho the quick fire ready answer stuff You gotta be very Tery natural and that takes tales a n. lot of or re rehearsing re- re Did you o ace me mo coming along juggling jug me cane and me mo hat and cigarette arette 2 Mr Ir Jarr said he lie had Well Yell I r do that on tho ho street so 1 I Ican can get It pat for tor a new act In which I do o an ordinary young feller feHer coming out of ot a n. cigar store and walking up the tho street Do ordinary 01 young fellows walking fifteen fifteen lC- lC up up the street bounce bamboo cl cane e teen feet in the tile air ju Juggle lc their straw hats and a j. lighted aret In vaud vaudeville or Ot at a summer show yes And it gets over o great g was the reply Ive got to have navo a n strong specialty somewhere whore In a In to and break Broadway ro dwa production because Ins 1111 A lead card with Hh tho the hl big time Urne booking whole bill Dill out tho the over ver since I crabbed In n Peoria coni whole bill did Oh you OU crabbed the 1 I you feu The Surest thing thinK you ou know Imo Rats late the big time Umi booking Is Peoria to out In end and I got me orders crab rat the bill bin and put the whole show with animal on Ia the hunt hum because that t pictures it got so RO acts Lets and tho tio moving It stake make variety varlet actor can cant can't t that hat a human his Its cakes calces tn What with the way you oU have havo to split putt with all the n agents the tho sub sub- the booking men and anti what you OU agents gents the stagehands the electrician elec elec- cot tol ot to slip the tho trap drummer to give 8 1 you youa ou a crash with your our fulls falls the t spot pot light I Ibo bo boy the property man man every every mitt I Is out out its its it's got Cot so that after youve you've slipped something to over everybody bod yourin your youre in debt on pay da day So I crabbed th the whole bill In Peoria and I put ever every animal act In It on the fritz Oh Olt you OU did How asked Mr Jarr Jars Well rell there 1 was nas as Day Da In You know tho the ac act where the tho dogs are out on the thc stag going through without tho the handler handler- the dog cops the dog an and the dog souse and the dog marriage Yes I know Ive I've seen It Very clever and highly trained those dogs dog are I Sure said young oun Mr If JC they then ever er drop down on their forefeet fore Core forefeet feet the handler and his Ills assistants assistant ping em ern from the wings with shot sho from air guns buns I got at them air guns gun unc and took out tho the shot and the do dogs dop s found out they dl didn't nt get hit with anything when they the dropped down don s so the they made a bum burn of ot the show and they had to ring down on them Then when University sity Primates the Marvelous Monkeys lonko's wont went on I sat In the wings cracking peanuts on the sneak and that was va as the end of or that act But it was m mj my dear idEar of or busting up the Educated Elephants Elephants Elephants Ele Ele- act that was the reul beat bear ca cat t Here young oung Mr Ir Sal chuckled to himself I I let loose a mouse and tho the Eph Thompsons took It on the run over tho the footlights and through the audi audi- ence They've The ve put a a. new front on the theatre but they've never got the amusement loving public In that town n to patronize a show with an animal act In it ft since White Rats excepted suggested Mr r. r Jarr Oh to be sure And Im I'm blacklisted but I should worry replied young oung Mr Ir Ir and he tipped his trick hat tat and walked n. n away y 1 practicing a 8 new dance step lep |