| Show THE CONQUESTS OF CONSTANCE Switchboard at the Hotel Rich BY ALMA IA WOODWARD ARD Co The Copyright 1313 1919 by bj the PT M New York fork World THE TilE SODA CLERIC CL UJ asked I WHAT W HAT tersely Baseball are aro you OU reading she retorted Are you interested inter ested 7 I 1 didn't t know you were Oh Oh yes Since I got over that Mara Man Marathon V thon mush with the fan Can an I met on the Sixth a L T Im I'm m III I f 1 Interested again Anyhow how yesterday the head waiter walter Inthe In tho the ten tea room ho hos hoo s tho the only sport around here bet mo me ft a pair pall of oC buckskins to match suit ID my new fall tall against a n. box hox of or cigars that the Giants would lose loso the pennant An n. gee Ceo b by today's today s news It certainly doea doca look like lUe little Connie Connio gem to shell out for them smokes Ill tell you what Ill I'll do I said What Vh at 7 Z ZIll Ill bet you ou a pair pall of purple buckskins buckskins buck buck- I skins to match your our new ne' tall suit that thc they'll lI win the pennant Then youre you're covered on both sides Does Docs It go Sa Say youre you're a n. sport she ahe declared enthusiastically Shake But what do I cough up l If I lose loso The confession of another conquest All right Well We'll make mako It Simp tho soda slinger He lIe next on tho the list I think Now Connie I reproved just because bo bo- bo cause Its It's the fashion In the papers Just now to Piave ove descriptive Is no reason wh why you ou should a shower of ot words like that on that poor defunct conquest You sound like hive an ad R for tor a college course sho she said but I got yuh Steve The gu guys guy's s name Simpson an an he was called Simp for short Youre forgiven en I murmured as she sho paused for my approval Well Fell I como come In the store one night ter fer a cake cale uv soap an right away I fell fer tel the grand way wa he made a n wavy line with a quart of or malted milk mm chat elsan klet flavoring when hen he flipped back pack again Now ow many man a time Ume I seen seena a t feller teller who wu export expert do a long Ions distance distance distance dis dis- tance throw with that drink but never before did I see an any one draw things In n it from tho the glass to the shaker an on the he air with It t So I ter ergot fergot ot all about the he cake u uv iv soap an an went right cht up to tho ho de desk k an unchained a nickel An I says ays to him him- I one of oC them An An he Ise sa says s back Fifteen cents please An then I looked like lII e I crushed an I surprised myself an worked a blush an an he says sa low down But of or course couise to GOOD customers we make It 10 Then I knew lenew I had him an say what he didn't put in that drink nobody's business business it It had chop suey sue skinned a a. mile It make you sick Naw aw makes you t sIck ck when youre you're In love The doctors doctors' rs' rs aint on to the reel euro cure for Cor indigestion an an anyhow any any- In how If It the they the they'd d get g-et pinched t for r it specially to married folks folks' its it's just Juet to sit opposite some someone someone someone one youre you're doggone sweet on when you ou feed Why If yuh uh got a fierce attack of uh yuh cn eat rubber heels hashed in c carbolic an an It wont won't hurt yuh uh so longs long's as hos ho's yuh all the time timo that hed he'd sell his grandmother fer ter a kiss from you ou Well I was stuck on him long enough to sample every s syrup rup that wu vu ever brewed After a while I got pot a a. I fer a good piece of ot steak an ana a baked potato but I true t to htman him himan himan an leep right on maple nut sundaes an an banana splits An then one night I went Rent Into the store an he hc didn't see sec me an an I hid behind a bunch o o. hair tonic an watched him Ansay Ansa An sa say say He had all the skirts of oC that neighborhood neighborhood neigh neigh- round like a lot of ot bees An as each one come In he says II I Miss So and Oh good evening what's it to be this evening ening A raspberry raspberry rasp rasp- berr berry smother or a pineapple pinch An then hed he'd do cio a triple Somersault with his eyes an gurgle Sweets to the sweet s It wasn't on only 1 one or two two two-It It was the whole female population of that precinct An when most of em eel had went I sailed up nice an an quiet an an says says- II Kid theres there's a now neW drink Im I'm gem goin to to hand yer It Its It's s called the undertakers undertaker's ors or's flop Yer a dead one with me night Good |
