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Show 3B . WEST VALLBY View Thursday, Mar. : 12 1981 There Are No Problems - Only Vnexpecteds 'To Be Met and Worked Out as much as they want, of course, but the wedding should impose no strain on their budget. In most cases the bride and groom plan and pay for the major part of the wedding Second Mmiageo- The second marriages of widows and divorcees are similar in most respects, but there are certain differences that should be noted. A widow, in most cases, should wait a year or more after her husband's death before remarrying. This is simply a matter of showing respect for his memory, and because she is at least mentally in mourn- Hoi in tke Cltutcli Some faiths do not allow second marriages to take place in the church if either party has been divorced. In some cases the clergyman is permitted to perform the ceremony in the brides home; in others he may not officiate at all, and if the couple ing. Also, she should not rush into a marriage that might seem attractive to her just because she is lonely. A wishes a religious ceremony they must find a clergyman from another faith to perform it. There are situations when a civil marriage is the only possibility, but it may always be followed by as elaborate a reception as the couple wishes. divorcee, on the other hand, may marry the day her divorce becomes final, although she, too, is risking an unhappy marriage on the rebound. No matter how certain a man and a woman are about their plans to marry they may not announce their engagement before one or the other is legally divorced from the first mate. A girl may accept, but never wear, an engagement ring while her fiance is still--i- f only for another womans husday or band. - TtaCmtwuj- The wedding service itself is exactthat of a first wedding. But the surroundings, to be in the best of taste, should be simpler and very dignified. The bride (unless she had no bridesmaids for her first wedding) has only one attendant - her maid of honor. The groom has a best man and as many ushers as may be necessary to seat the guests. A widow or widower may have his or her young children stand as junior attendants. A divorcees children may also be in the wedding if their father has completely severed connections with them. If they are close to him, however, his approval should be given before they act as attendants, since to stand with their mother against there fathers wishes would put them in the position of being disloyal to him. Children should, however, attend their parents marriage, unless there is great resentment of the new husband or wife. They will adjust to the new family situation much more ly the same as PRESERVE YOUR BRIDAL BOUQUET and special flowers in brass and glass. CALL JUDY 943-502- 6 9nuiltdioui and Atmmtcent&di - Neither a widow nor a divorcee should wear a veil at her second wedding, since it is the symbol of virginity. Wearing white, the symbol of purity, is another matter, but since a second marriage should not try to be a replica of a first, it is best to choose another color - a pastel, or perhaps white lace over a colored underskirt. A young groom who has not been married before may well wish to see his bride in a bridal gown, even though she is widowed or divorced. To please him she may wear a long white bridey dress with color in the sash or trim and carry a bouquet of mixed colors rather than all white. She may wear a bridal hat or headdress, but not a veil. Her attendants dress matches the style of her own, and her grooms costume is also dictated by hers. He may wear the semi-formsack coat with striped trousers if she wears a long dress, or a business suit if she is in a cocktail dress or suit. When a young woman whose first marriage ended after a very short time, or who, perhaps, eloped or had no ceremony the first time, remar- ries, her family usually gives TO TENANTS Houses, Duplexes, Apartments r rental gallery 007 East 900 South 531-980- 4 They may help DL BxuU OutCd 1298 So. Redwood Rd. Salt Lake City, Ut. 84104 1 I 1 at roums. zcio.1 Qzxy JSufizx !BxuLL MaicL 9 oujzx Xo UJ s5900 to s22500 s2900 to s5900 gtxL s1995 tos37 and cdfat the wedding and pays the expenses just as they would for a first marriage. If, however, their daughter has had one large and expensive wedding, they should in no way feel obligated to give her another. They may help not feel obligated to give her another. FREE SERVICE Tal. from tion only. Both brides family and groom's family may send engraved announcements to as many people as they wish, although, as for a first marriage, they are usually sent in the name of the brides parents. s29 Over 500 dresses in stock Convenient ' ' While simple receptions are usually preferred - especially if there was an elaborate one following the brides first marriage - there is no rule that they must be small. If the groom has not been married before, the couple may want to have all the trimmings" for the benefit of his family and friends. In any case the reception, which is, after all, simply a party to celebrate the marriage, may be as on hand -- " Announcements of a second marriage may also be sent to the newspaper. They are similar to those of a first marriage except that there are no details about attendants or the brides dress. The name of the former spouse and previous marital status of both bride and groom are usually included. A typical announcement might read in part: The wedding of Mr. and Mrs. Herman Herg took place on January fourteenth at the Third Church, Congregational .Y. Mrs. Iierg is the former Xancy McLeod Corey. She is the widow of Mr. Jonathan Corey of Sioux Fall, Iowa. (Or, her first marriage to Mr. Jonathan Corey terminated in dixorce. ) large or small as everyone concerned wishes. At a large reception there is a receiving line so that everyone may meet the groom; at a simpler party the line is not necessary. Although there is no rule about such details as Closed Sunday matchboxes, napkins, etc., they are usually omitted, but a wedding cake is always a feature. Uituiei (Hcikew UtukuimUng In fact the understanding -- BRASS HEADBOARD With The Purchase Berg (and Mrs. Berg, if applicable), and where they will be living. In some papers that are not pressed for space, the parents of the couple may also be mentioned. When a widow or divorcee remains very close to the parents of her first husband there is a question about whether or not to invite them to her second wedding. Since they are fond of her they are undoubtedly delighted that she has found happiness and that the children (if any) will have a stepfather, but at the same time it may be hard for them to see someone tak- - M' 66 How much would it cost to replace everything in your apartment. Start with the books, the linens, the silver. Then go on to the big stuff: the stereo, the TV, the furniture. After that, call me and we'll talk about State Farm Renters Insurance. The cost is low and the coverage truly comprehensive. KARL N. PEDERSEN 5558 South State Murray, Utah 84107 8 Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. STATE FARM FIRE AND CASUALTY COMPANY Home Otfce Bloomington Illinois Of... A QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS SET... OR Since the veil is the accepted and traditional symbol of virginity, unwed mothers and pregnant brides should not wear a veil. This in no way brands them as different, because many other brides do not choose to wear veils in any case. The white dress is another matter, and the bride must think carefully. If she does not feel that what she has done is a mistake or wrong in any way, then she is pure in heart and may wear white. She may modify the virginal effect by adding color to the trim and in her flowers or by choosShe will still ing a definite look as bridey as can be, but she will be less open to criticism. A very obviously pregnant bride The announcement may then go on to mention the occupation of Mr. ot the love with, just to make an honest woman of her." A marriage carried out on that basis is almost surely headed for divorce. But when the girl and boy are truly in love and want to get married, their parents' support will bring the two generations closer than they have ever been tielore Above all, it should lie remembered that this is a happy occasion and one to be celebrated The father less child is getting a fattier, and the mother will have his support and help in bringing up her baby. Whatever problems and mistakes then' hae been, they are on the way to being over. So. the wedding should tie dignified, beautiful, and m quiet good taste, and the reception should match it - with gaiety and an air ol celebration added flaunt their situation in societys face. The bride may certainly be given a shower or two. as long as they are restricted to intimate friends. There may be attendants, a reception, photographs, and newspaper announcements Invitations follow the rules for any wedding. In sending out announcements after the wedding, the date is never falsified -even when a baby is to arrive six or seven months later. Most people will have forgotten the wedding date, and it is better to be honest than to try to hide what can't be hidden. When announcements are sent by It is frequently asked whether a bride who had a child before her marriage, or one who is about to, should wear a bridal gown and have an elaborate wedding. The answer is not an easy one. It depends on the brides own feelings, her honesty and how e. - brides parents is terribly important It can be disastrous if they force a girl to marry a boy she is not really m Because this is so. these marriages should be kept relatively simple so that tile couple does not appear to awtPicgwwlBiuUj liing-hamto- 277-025- the bride's parents the indication that they have accepted and arc hap py about the marriage can tie a great help to the bride and groom, who may be going through a ery Iran matic experience. Keep bimpde - Ttouei- - Office: 266-421- 5 Residence: HOURS 10:00 to 5:00 daily 12:00 to 4:00 Saturday not -- lay-awa- y plans Prices subject to stock wear a wedding gown, would look utterly incongruous. Although the attitude toward unmarried mothers is far more liberal than it used to be, a large majority of our society does not approve of that order of events. Many people feel that if the sanctity of marriage and the family unit is to be preserved, the established standards of behavior in that regard should be should which much she cares about what other people think or say. The last is, perhaps less important, and yet few of us do not have some desire to conform and to be thought well of. -- Cxpeioea - 1 Since the majority riages are quite simple and the guest list is restricted to family and close friends, invitations are usually-issueby phone, or to those at a distance, by personal note. If, however, a large reception is planned after a small ceremony, engraved invitations may be issued to the recep- TkeBtute'a Dtew - Tice Reception - monogrammed of second mar- readily if they feel they are part of the formation of that family. A young widow or divorcee may be escorted down the aisle by her father, but a more mature woman usually walks alone, preceded by her maid of honor. At a private ceremony there is no procession at all, and the couple merely enter together, usually from a side door, and walk behind the clergyman to the chancel. ing the place of their son. The bride should tell them personally that she would love to have them at the wedding, but that she understands if they would find it sad or uncomfortable to be there, and leave it up to them. $S550 A QUEEN FLOATATION BED $299 Haaga S Mattress Factory Carriage Square 4100 So. Redwood Sugarhouse 307 E. 2100 So. |