Show 'Pcuye I X- - may be butch but I'm proud of my boobs I far as complimenting myself in my articles I am guilty I would like to introduce this person to (he world outside Carbon County it's a big and scary place hut often cures habits of inbreeding that often cause stupidity There you will find other journalists who compliment themselves (only the good ones like me) Overall I just hope that this person was impressed with themselves for such a gutless attempt at criticism I congratulate you for giving the staff a laugh I also found this year's election to be entertaining I am under the impression that some students did not understand why I was running If you think I ran because I had the desire to head the student government I salute your lack of general knowledge Sure I think I could do the job exceptionally well I just had no chance running against the "(Mormon) Dream Team” candidates I was hoping next year's student body would have more progressive by Dani Welgand last Issue as editor ! Many of you will be glad to read this is the last derogatory and demeaning article by myself this year The same group of you will be tern fied to hear that I am aiming hack next year to keep you in line (yes!) TTiis year has sparked a new interest in the journalism profession (some may call it a moment of clarity) Maybe it is because I have been insulted and threatened by people for articles I have written I received my first piece of hate mail after writing "The Eagle y ticket to the Projects courtesy of the administrawins a tion” in which the sender printed “CEU Ncwpapcr (sic)" on the envelope Whoever this person was did not bother to sign their name to the letter perhaps it was because (hey were too embarrassed to put their name on something where they misspell a word as simple as newspaper This letter was addressed to The Eagle editorial staff and had some interesting perceptions about me and my colleagues “The fact of the matter is that certain writers for The Eagle hold intense prejudices towards certain issues and this shows in their stories For example Dani Wcigland (sic) will respond to this indictment of her writing ( which by the way aiuld be outclassed by e a gifted and honors class and contains less confirmed fact than an early '20s sci-comic hook) by getting angry and in a about female her as a status culture fuming and sexist the callous for administration condemning obviously (heir unwilingness (sic) to replace every male faculty member with a butch Dani a wool of advice: I don't know where you picked up the journalistic technique of complimenting yourself so often in your stories hut you might want to reconsider your overealous use of it I've never seen it used anywhere clscDani if you really think you inspire a “pack of Rolaids" you ought to notice how dry bland and generally boring your writing style is A hefty dose of laughing gas is a much more suitable acaimpanimcnt to your articles than a pack of Rolaids” When I first read this letter I had to sit down and analyze the accusations I would like to clarify my stand on the male faculty at this school I promote males in the workplace just make them either intelligent or young and good looking Second I will agree (hat I am butch however I am proud of my boobs and do not dislike being a woman Boobs give me an advantage As a friend of mine said “Never underestimate the power of the (hoohie)" Third as officers but For those of you who do not already know next year's of activities is still a senior at Tooele I ligh School and the sister of this year's ASCEU President Stephanie Jensen This high school girl wants to continue activities this school had this year like homh(sic) fires Upon reading this I was not sure if Ted Kazinski was the right person in custody for the unabombings Danielle Jensen came down to CEU to do her campaigning win the election and leave Gee wouldn't it be too had if she were to somehow not graduate from high school What would student government do? Now for the part you've all been waiting for The most memorable time this year was involving an article that you will never read in The Eagle You sec after receiving numerous threatening phone calls (some of which were from a wife of a husband involved you know who you are) and watching cars drive past my house at a high velocity while throwing things out their window at my apartment I had to respectfully decline printing an article because it was out of my hands All joking aside I came to a point in my journalistic career where I had to make an editorial decision I had to consider all who were involved as well ns the essence of the situation I would like to designate the last of my space to people who I give the first annual Dani Awards to Icona: "Strangest sexual insult" award for that time you were talking about flying objects and rolling doughnuts Mike: "I'm glad you arc but I never will" award in and congrats for his engagement Matt: "What the hell arc you doing here as late as us" award By the way why arc you? Gary & Heather: "Thank you for my pixie" award It has been a blessing much needed Pixie: "Powcrnap" award this is self explanatory S & M: "Bitch Power" award because you are and vice-preside- nt one-wa- third-grad- fi male-dominat- ed fcmi-naLAI- letters to I ' the editor Dev editor ' Y t V V'’:- - V ’ ' List month in The Eagle an article entitled “If You Don't Have Money for Drop IL This article was published begin to expmsihe1 If like all I can do article sounds that feel towards I that anger Is whlMahdcpWn about htmsomng was not handed to aftbjm k g f 7 All my friends in Price: "We will save the Earth by recycling beer cans" award because we can See you again next year! ywraasilvvplatter IiuteadofWngavlctitntake rMponsi- -' V you Y There are also ways of getting a microwave for yourself instead of relying on someone' else for that luxury You may possibly if you'd quit whining long enough check it out You could go to one of the pawn shops and ask them to donate a microwave in return for a page of advertisement in the newspaper You may be sur-prised They may work something out with you You have to do something too It just can’t be one sided On theroatter of brand new computers You don't realize how lucky you are to have a used one especially when someone pays out quite a bit of money out of their own pocket so you will have something that works very beautifully For one thing CEU is not1 as large as the University in Salt Lake Yes they may have new computers but look at how high their tuition 'and fees are Now do you want new computers or do you want students to have'a chance at paying a somewhat deceht tuliion I'd personally prefer to be able to afford a good education I do niy best work on' the mod computers in the Writing Center in the main building I would bethrilledtohavetheoppoitunitytdhavesused computer Iwould be willing to baby sit’ for students or type papere for others but bilityfor who you arc tuid what you want Make things happen for yoursdflnsteadofthinking evoywre owes jwwmething I was taught growing up that if you want something you have to earn it NOBODY owes you anything ' Durrani building is in bad shape do small inexpensive ’t d'ins to fix jt up Far insUmce put small inexpensive throw rugs oyer ihecarpet where the duct tape i As for the curtains look through catalogs to get an idea on bow you can make curtains out 1 of sheds You can take pretty sheets from yotir home or Iwouldnotbewillingtowhineuntilsomeone gave mea computer t barrow(sic) some from a good friend Hang them up and you oihey would hot have to listen to me whine anymore Quit cahget beautifol scarfs at the dollar store io tie them with BE Whining moaning and complaining and do something for YOUR-- L CREATIVE Don't wldneandexpiBct'eyeryoireehrefodoUfor SELFyou may feelaseriseof accomplishment Yrr ' 'v‘' By Patricia Lons Y ’ Vv' I ’ L p 1 Y: t than write boring articles and bake cookies I do more by Leona Christensen alias editor Ycsihat’smc: all smiles com- pliments professionalism obsession with perfection (or a reasonable version of it for an understaffed campus newspaper) conservative clothing and a mechanical nod of the head to show I'm listening to the subjects of my interviews I am the epitome of neatness and sweetness and you all probably think I’m as shallow as the pool beneath tlic fountain If Dani Wcigand is The Eagle’s I pit bullattack dog must he the smiling “good aip" who takes on all the pleasant (taring) assignments Right? You couldn't he more wrong I am simply CEU's greatest faker farmer's daughter church going raised to be A all I've really cultivated is the ability to hide submissive and quiet what I'm really feeling about all of you That's right YOU —tlic people I'm interviewing the people I'm calling when I sound just as nice the 10th time you haven't returned my calls as did the first when I smile at you even though I know you're feeding me some BS story that you can clip and save for your scrapbook (why do you think we misspell so many words — it's so you will NEVER have anything to he proud of Journalists' revenge!) But you'll soon find out I'm no softy I've compiled a ainfidential file on every one of you and when you run for office when you're up for tenure or even when you plan to ask someone out on a date I'll spring yourdirty laundry onto the public faster than you can say well whatever it is you would say Oh if only you could read my thoughts behind my “professional'' interview facade: —Gee this guy is supposed to he so important Man his breath stinks! — Did she cut lier hair herself or did she ask her son to run the over it? —Do these debaters ever do anything but talk about themselves — You were an hour late for our appointment and all you can do is PR crap? ” party-lin- e give me the —I wonder if the Jazz will tonight oops what did she just say? JEEZ! I'm —Act interested act interested act interested hungry! —Yawn anotlier administrator with something in his teeth — Nepotism nepotism nepotism Now let's see this guy is the brother of the mother who hired whose sister again? — (censored) Remember when you sec news stones about terrorists mass murderers patple who died with 300 cats in their house the neighbors always say “Oh (he or she) was so sweet quiet no trouble just always a good person I'd never have believed (he or she) was capable of such insanity “ they're usually talking about paiple just like me Not that I'll kill anyone (punch them maybe) or have 300 cats but watch out and don't believe everything you sec In fact that's probably (lie number one thing I've learned reporting the news at CEU well-cultivat- 1 lawn-mow- er “yes-man- Rapes committed by administration by Randy Chandler staff writer As defined by Webster's New World Dictionary rape is "any outragaius assault or flagrant violation" As CEU students we are constantly violated by administrators and staff who arc to sec we receive a quality education Instead we learn practical applications of how to say one thing do another and get away with it Personally experienced violations are in Hie areas of student housing safely and campus police with the worst problems resulting from a belligerent housing director who thrives on dominating students and exercising power whenever possible Housing not only mistreats students hut has a direct effect on CEU's declining enrollment and retention see Administration on page 3 i t 1 ' |