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Show hb The WorldofWomen Contemporary Living Friends Rally Around By LETITIA (TISH) BLADRIGE friend of ours died suddenly and unexpectedly last week. During her 50 years of life she dispensed such great amounts of love to so many le that some of it was bound to come uunding right back. She died and was buried in the small New England village where she, her husbandand their two sons wentfor weekends and vacations. She had a job in Manhattan, was a devoted wife and mother, and managed for vears to work, run the apartment in New York and the little country house, and keep everything meticulously neat andattractive. Her food was always perfection; so were her table settings. Everywhere one’s eye would roam in that house, there would always be an unexpected treat awaiting it. There would be an unusualvase sitting in the window with a single spray of pussy willows, catching a ray of sunlightlike a branchofsilvery soap bubbles; or there would be one of her son’s silver baby mugs, teething marks andall, sitting on the wooden cobbler's bench, overflowing with daffodils. Thelove that she gave came back — andit cameback to her family. People rallied around in thevillage where she had meant so much, and in great big New York, too, where she had given so muchofherself. One friend arrived the minute the news was out, and took over the job of notifying her shocked relatives and friends of her death. He walked around behind her husband and sons with aan legal pad in hand, quietly talking and asking them questions, getting every possible name, address andtelephone numberof people to be notified. Like most families, the lists in the address book were ancient and inaccurate; like most People they kept names, addresSes and telephone numbersin their heads. The family was in shock, but someone had to compile that list of people that should be notified about funeral arrangements. One couple immediately moved into the house and stayed until the funeral was over — three days later. The male memberof that team, an excellent cook, prepared all the meals (as well as doing the marketing) to feed the family and any others who happened to be Calling on them His wife handled the telephonesall day long A formerexecutive secretary, she knew how to handle those messages and how to coordinate those calls better than anyone. She kept the exhausted family members from havingtotalk too long on condolencecalls; she dispatched friends to collect people at the airport who were arriv- ing for the funeral. Another friend went to work on the apartment in New York. She got the keys from the superintendent and spent two days giving it a the fh house-cleaning. She changed the beds. coped with the dirty laundry, watered the plants, and left the refrigerator and freezer jammed with goodies. The apartment would be welcoming when the father and sons returned toit. Her last wonderful touch: she placed a new box of white notepaper in each of their rooms, with a black ink pen and roll of stamps. They could goright to workon their thank-youletters. Another friend has promised to go regularly to the little country house on weekends and vacations in the garden season,to ke€p the house filled with little flower arrangements, which were herpassion.‘Whenyou think of flowers,think of me!”’ she would laugh, as she would stick yet another little cream jug under a guests's nose, filled with anything from daisies to dandelions. She used thelittle village library all the time, so oneof her friends gavethe library a generous check, to use for the purchase of books they would not to be able to buy. He gave the librarian a package of Ex Libris bookplates, with the instructions that once the books were purchased, a bookplate be placed in each one, typed with her name and with the words ‘In Memoriam.’ _ Our friend would haveliked all this, because its the kind of thing she usedto do for everyone else. (Ms. Baldrige welcomes letters and will answer as many uesiicn as possible in her column. Please address yourletters to Ms. Tish Baldrige, (name of your paper), P.O. Box 5028, F.D.R.Station, New York, N.Y. 10022.) Illusion in Beauty HAIR CARE FOR MEN, WOMEN& CHILDREN LIKE THE FLOWERunfolding to the sun, the bride’s ruffled bouffant gown literally dances on air. Her bridesmaid contrasts with softly shirred jersey in blue. And her proud bridegroom wearsa light blue tuxedo — its only embellishment a framing of satin piping on lapels and patch pockets. Let us run our scissors through your hair. 1217 North State Orem, Utah 84057 801/224-3936 Single File Glazed Look in Eyes female statue. There are some unmarried women who interpretliberation as meaning they have a right to try for any man they see. But, most often if I take my husband away,it’s because he’s been signaling fraMtically for rescue. Ladies, just because you lead a full and interesting life and have lots of opinions doesn’t mean you should criminated against. They seem to think the rainfalls back a man into a corner and tell him every one. That on them, repairmen appear promptly for glazed look in hiseye may not be admiration — just all others and married people never have incon- boredom. — Matilda M. (for Married), Knoxville, iderate neighbors who install window air- Tenn. Eauitlenecsorpomid Dear Matilda: Thefeeling of being singled out (no conditioners opposité their single bedroom windows. Such women create viciouscircle. Since they pun intended)in our society and being discriminated Dear Susan: I don’t know if married women are supposed to read your column, but, havingread it, I wart to commentonthelist of discriminations sent to you by Martha A. While somearevalid, some are nit-picking. IT have known a few single women (a very small minority) who make a career out of being dis- Fashion Mart January Clearance complain constantly, they are avoided. ThjS against is a common one. And much of the time for strengthens their belief they are discriminated singles there is some justification to that feeling. (Of against, and they become even more bitter. They makeit more difficult for women’s complaints about real discrimination to be taken seriously. Course, there are those whose hobby is complaining, ee and age) ; . i many years singleness there can come a bands awayfrom spinsters. There are some wives so Valid and which are not. 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