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Show JOSH BILLINGS' PHILOSOPHY. The man who iz [is] fit for solitude ought bi all means to stay thare [there] ; he ain't [isn't] fit for enny [any] thing else. There are those who are too lazy to even be knaves. The grate plezzure [pleasure] in welth [wealth] iz [is] in the making ov it. After yu hav got it, the fun iz over, and trubble [trouble] begins. Whenever I see a yung [young] man, or a yung [young] woman, who kan't [can't] cum down to breakfast in the morning, or attend a sociable in the evening, without a book under their arm, I feel that the country iz [is] safe at last. Whenever I cum akrost [across] an old phellow [fellow] who remembers every thing that haz [has] happened since 1812 and insists upon telling it, I feel glad on his ackount [account], but sorry on mi own. Money only makes a spendthrift [unreadable line] poorer. As a general thing, obstinacy iz [is] the growth ov [of] ignorance, but I hav [have] seen obstinacy that was backed bi [by] wisdom; then it adds power to wisdom. Order iz [is] the very fust [first] law ov [of] bizzness [business]; then dispatch cums [comes] next; suckcess [success] iz [is] allmost [almost] sure to follow. A conservative person iz [is] most generally one who iz [is] willing to seel out enny [any] time, when the ockashun [occasion] and price iz [is] right. Thoze [Those] who understand how to administer consolashun [consolation], are allwuss [always] the most eanshus [anxious] about doing it. Thare [There] iz [is] a grate [great] deal ov [of] kontentment [contentment] in this world that iz [is] simply satisfied with what it kan't [can't] git [get]. With kontentment [contentment] all things are comfortable (even the toothake [toothache]); without it, nothing iz [is]. Truth iz [is] never so holy az [as] when it iz [is] unadulterated, but it iz [is] possible to make it more attracktive [attractive] bi [by] flavoring it with nonsense. Yu [You] kan [can] pik [pick] up a lie on the surface enny [any] whare [where], but the truth yu [you] hav [have] got to dig for. The man who don't believe in enny [any] hereafter haz [has] got a dredphull [dreadful] mean opinyun [opinion] ov [of] himself and hiz [his] chances. |