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Show DETROIT CURRENCY. <br><br> A clipped horse does not always turn out to be a clipper of a horse.<br><br> THE longest Russian names are as easily spoken in that country as Smith is in this.<br><br> CANES are now made which hold a pint of whisky. All a man has to do is to raise cane and imbibe.<br><br> THE Hartford Post says that a heathen is a person who won't accept your own particular religious belief.<br><br> SARDINES are now made of mutton, oil and fishbones, and no one has to trouble himself about the fishery question.<br><br> MEN and women cannot go too far in books, but at the table it is a different thing. Always use the fork to take pickles.<br><br> A CLEVELAND coroner says that the publication of cases of suicide ought to be prohibited, as it influences others to follow the example.<br><br> THE Kansas schoolma'am who complained of the "riggers" of the present winter to the Board of Trustees, was told to warm up on her orthography.<br><br> THE weather in New Jersey is so thoroughly miserable that the details of a first-class scandal won't make a woman happy over fourteen minutes.<br><br> IT IS estimated that men have given more thought to some device to fasten suspender buttons than they have to any one branch of science or philosophy.<br><br> WHEN Governors of States will give Friday the go by as hangman's day, it may look reasonable to argue with ignorant people that there's nothing in dreams.<br><br> IT SEEMS to be the opinion of the Chicago Tribune that a majority of the Wall Street speculators are neither bulls nor bears, but jackasses. This doesn't apply to those who win.<br><br> A WOMAN at Marshaltown, Ia., bought twenty cents' worth of arsenic and half a pound of baking-powder. She put the arsenic in a chest in the garret and used the baking-powder in the pantry, and yet she poisoned twenty-one of her boarders with arsenic.<br><br> A NEW York hotel cook says that shad are not a fit fish for anybody to eat, and his observations go to prove that only persons of depraved taste ever call for shad. The shad will therefore back water and give the sucker a front seat.<br><br> A LIGHTNING train between New York and Boston is a first-rate thing, but when it comes to cutting down the only stop for refreshments to eight minutes, it is just a trifle monotonous. Just a little too "American."-Boston Herald.<br><br> POSTMASTER James is the right man. He not only declines a public dinner, but refuses credit belonging to his assistants. If he would only reduce the number of postoffices [post offices] named "Washington" to twenty-five or thirty he would make lots of people real happy. |