Show OD eio REAL OPTIMISM what a gra grand nd old world this tal lal gave ave you ever seen a moro more perfect flay day than this has your salary been raised no f new boy at your koll dollso so oh no nothing like that perhaps you have baya received word that you are heir to a fortuno fortune nothing of that kind has haa happened to me Per perhaps haDs you have yr written britten itten a play that somebody has adeeP accepted ted for or production im not a writer why do you make uch ouch a sugg suggestion eslen im just trying to figure out why you think the world Is so BO grand and the day so beautiful oh youre one of those who cant understand why one may be optimistic i w without having some water material waterval lal reason or it eh by the way I 1 ive lust just sold tny my house for 2600 rio more re than I 1 paid for or it eight months ago explanatory mrs wwickham ham can read one of the most learned papers before her liter try iry society you ever heard beard P pshaw I 1 everybody knows mrs a thimbleful of brains irn im not talking about her brains I 1 said she could read a very learned paper before her liter literary iry society and to BO she can professor harn writes all her essays A lifter of course said the energetic campaigner pa igner you understand that I 1 am or the uplift of the people yes replied the blunt citizen but im not sure you dont regard the people somewhat as you do the elevator man he Is always going buck back and forth to uplift some but he sever gets a chance to got get off anywhere on his own account SLIGHT MISTAKE A 11 S elit b torl f L boiz vo guest in cheap res restaurant here her e waiter ya lter this napkin la 18 dirty walter deg beg pardon sir it merely got folded the wrong way sir ma goose revised jack spratt could bryno fry no fat when the convention met hla friends abreo itis likely ho ha will not an office gett get further instructions judge to jury have you agreed pon a verdict Is the prisoner guilty or dr not guilty of theft as aa charged tho the indictment foreman we have not yet reached a verdict your honor I 1 missed my pocketbook Docket book hook in the night and I 1 would respectfully ask that each juror be le oe arched sol all the tram tramps ps that come into this town are arrested then they are like bees beds whores wheres the comp comparison adson bees are industrious they are like bees because they all cells cella tires are arc costly griggs so youre going in for yachting this summer because its not to 10 expensive as briggs yes a yacht can stand on i t tack ack and theres no tiro tire punctured just one guess it seems to me that the man who permits himself to think baseball and talk baseball au all the time must bo be minded the team representing represent ln in your lome town this year la is makina a poor eh eb its fundamental weakness i 1 I wonder it if tho country will entertain 1 this fidei de a i of a third party 1 well as far as entertaining g goes 0 I 1 rou fou know tho the old saying twos a c corn pany any threes a crowd tried ern em all the busy housewife who believes bol levea that plenty of hard work never hurts anybody was laid up with a bad cold when her maid left so she sha asked her husband to go down to the abo registry about another he started at ton ten in the morning and returned at three worn and tired the matter my love asked tho wife solicitously us as he sank into a chair beside her bed wore were there no servants at the office yes heaps of em 11 replied he bo with a groan but un unfortunately fortun abely all worked for us before I 1 answers An THE REASON FOR IT aco POE babak ile he its strange you members of the th vassar alumnae dont hold class reunions she not at all you may as well ask a woman her age as to ask her to acknowledge what year she ahe graduated in leader of the never worris at a railway si tation an anxious woman encumbered with numerous numer pus bags and packages made so BO many inquiries of one of the officials that he turned to the ticket agent with the question who Is that woman who has bothered me twenty times in the last five minutes for fear her train will get away without her ashes heading a party of delegates going to a meeting of the american league of nover never worry clubs re plied piled tho the ticket man the C G the chorus girl works every night and ling has an awful appetite ho he like either john we must go back home instantly st there you go cant we start for a couple of days in ih the cou country without you worrying but wo we have come off the cat and the parrot with nothing to eat dont lot let that bother you maybe the cat will eat the parrot A natural mistake what a magnificent row of chrysanthemums mums just above the hedge yonder laws mn ma rhems the heads of the football players sitting just back of tho the hedge on a bench halting at a formality Is your wife going into active politics 1 I dont think so go replied mr meek ton 1 I dont believe anything could induce her to tako take that new BO 50 hat of hers and th throw lt into the ring 1 hole hela not sure john am I 1 all right for the theater my dear I 1 hardly know what you consider all right you h have 0 a dab annone of powder on cac each b ear auf none on the top of your nose some scruples left ills kinsman so you uns aro arc goin into the next state where the law cant touch y yer r hey boy the outlaw yep but understand we aint botn golant t incorporate over there we aint that crooked puck A wide brim the lady what you would call pretty why do you think this hat Is becoming coi bing she demanded well my dear responded her dip somatic husband it covers up most moat of your face ace A mistake dont tell that amateur detective that your wife has a soft low voice great why not because he be will begin to suspect there alere Is a speakeasy speak easy in tho house |