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Show SCRAPS PROFESSIONAL. Life and Heath were growing tired of the simple. "Look here," said Life, "we'll never got anywhere at this rate. I know 1 could put you out 1 f I wanted to, hut why should I? When 1 finish you 1 finish myself." "Just what I was thinking," responded re-sponded Death. "Why not quit and call it a draw?" "You're on," said Life. In that moment some of the world's greatest medical reputations were piade. iTkovts.-.' ' L QUEER. Chick: It's funny. Turtle: What is? Chick: You say you're 80 years old, and you're not out of your Bhell yet. Real Literature. I scorn the magazine designs. I scoff at books so neat. I love to read the little signs Displayed on every street. Odd Happenings. "Pa, do they have lots of snow and ice in Panama?" "Of course not, son." "Then how can they uive those slides on the canal?" Details. "Her father struck me very forcibly." forci-bly." "As a man of thought?" "No; as a man of action. He kicked me out." Delayed Vindications. "Truth crushed to earth will rise again," said the hopeful person. "Yes," replied the cynic; "but it's liable to have to go with a crutch for some time after." Metallic Natures. "Bliggins has an iron will, but be Is behind the times." "Yes," replied Miss Cayenne. "That's the trouble with an iron will. It Is liable to get rusty." Couldn't Tell About AM the Time. "Does it rain all the time here," asked a stranger. "I don't know mister. I sleep pretty well nights and don't know what's happening hap-pening then." Suspicious. "I regard investment in- an irrigation irriga-tion company as suspicious." "Why?" "Isn't it apt to have water in its stock ?" U -ft XA THERE'S A REASON. Hubby: I never realized you were so tall before. TS'ife: I'm supposed to be am I not your better half? Appropriate Condition. "This is a tense moment for my grammar teacher." "Why so'.'" "lleca.use she Is In one of hf-i moods." Naturally. j "A picture manufactory is suspicious suspi-cious business." I "Why so?" 1 "Pectmse it is largely made of fra me-nps." Overwork. 'Money is circulating very fast," remarked re-marked the economist. "Yes," replied the ordinary person; "by the time a dollar bill gets around j to ttie ii is so tired it can't do any- ' think like the work it used to." ! . I Magnate's Expenses. Crawford Since he became a mag nale his expenses are enormous. Crabsbaw No wonder. He hires e. doctor to keep him out of bed an! a lawyer to keep him out of jaii. j Life' I |