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Show Cczrref - H In order to settle several vexatious questions H concerning Mrs. Nation, and to dispel numerous H illusions which have disturbed the serenity of the M country at large, I took advantage of Carrie's re- H cent visit to Salt Lake and procured an exclusivo H interview with her, which I am sure will be ex- H tensivoly copied in the leading sporting and scien- m tific journals of the country. From her own lips H I have heard the story of her life, and I now give 1 it to a waiting and anxious world. M I called on Mrs. Nation at her apartments at HI the Are station, and sent in my card. She gra- KJ ciously consonted to soo mo, and I was shown up. M Hor appearance greatly surprised me, for I had M based my impression of hor upon the following B artlclo which I once read: "Mrs. Nation has a M figure like an overgrown beer barrel, surmounted H by a blockhead. She has a hatchet face and wad- H dies like a duck. She is possessed of a 'striking' M personality, and hor remarks are full of ginger. H In facial expression she resembles George III., and H the development of her upper right arm is M j strangely similar to that of Eugene Sandow. Mrs. Nation wears goggles and talks through her nose." M In justico to Carrie I must deny the truth of H part of the above description. She does not pos- M sess a figure like a boor barrol. This is plainly a misstatement of facts, for anyone can plainly see H that her form more closely resembles a plckel bar- H rel, and in her nature she is certainly more vine- H gary than beery. As for the word "blockhead," H on investigation, I find that the writer meant H "square-jawed," and the statement that she is H hatchet-faced is erroneous, for she is not in the H least sharp featured. As for "waddling like a duck" H the idea is ridiculous. What grievance tho B abovo writor has against the inoffensive duck I H do not know, but the statement is certainly a H slandor. Again, it is said that her remarks are H full of "ginger." Now, this is false on the face of B it, for anyone should know that Mrs. Nation's H well known antipathy to gin would preclude the H possibility of her having anything with gin in it in H her make-up. H Lastly, Mrs. Nation does not talk through her H , nose. At tho conclusion of my interview, I was H firmly decided in my own mind that she does most H of her conversing through her little black bonnet. H "Yes," said Mrs. Nation, as I seated myself on H I the engine wheel, "I have indeed had a strenuous H I existence, and I regret that the Boswells have not H i faithfully chronicled it. I like your looks, young man, and I am going to be candid with you and tell you the truth about it. I observe that you are wearing smoked glasses. I regret to see this. Do you know that smoke is an evil as potent as drink? 'Throw away the dirty things." I removed the offending of-fending glasses and asked hor to give mo a short account of her life. "Well, to begin with," she said, as she unconsciously uncon-sciously felt of her right, shoo, "I was born In tne full of tho moon. You see, I had a good start. I was raised on tho seltzer-bottle, and early became familiar with the high-bawl, through my little brother Willie, who indulged in it to excess. At the ago of seven months I knocked over a basket containing a bottle of stove polish, breaking it. That was my first experience as a "smasher." When a year and a half old, I read the life of George Washington, then and there deciding that my course in life was mapped out. I raided my first "joint" at the age of two, and was arrested, the first time on my third birthday. "When four years old I wrote the celobrated religious drama, "A Temperance Town," and, not wishing to be known as a playwright, I sold it to the late Charles Hoyt, who produced it as his own. It was about this time that I met John B. Gough, who was undecided whether to adopt tho profession of a sailor or go to sea. I took him over in a corner, showed him my little hatchet, convinced con-vinced him that tho ocean was one "big drink," and from that time he was my most able lieutenant. lieuten-ant. "From then on my life was one continual smash, until I met my fate in the shape of Mr. Nation. No, my maiden name was not Damni. I have never taken the trouble to deny that story before. Well, we were married," again reaching down for her right shoe, "but it wasn't for long. Mr. Nation said he didn't like to see his family 'going to smash,' so I let him go his way." As she was again about to feel of that foot a horrible suspicion came over me and I remarked that she no longer carried her hatchet. She leaned over and whispered in my ear: "Well," I remarked, re-marked, "I have heard of people carrying their money there, but Its a new place for a hatchet!" "Well," she said, "I've cut it out for a while, but I always like to be heeled. One can't tell when one may want to cut in again. To continue, con-tinue, I found that I had hard work to gain admittance ad-mittance to the saloons of Kansas, so I took up the study of law but, alas, I was never admitted to the bar I always had to break in." "Mrs. Nation," I said, "it has been claimed that you resemble George III. I see now that such a claim is idle." "Yes, it is the other George that I look like. My facial resemblance to Washington is something remarkable." Mrs. Nation has been known by a number of titles, such as "The Kansas Cyclone," "The Great Un-.Tointer," "The Sunflower DIslocator," etc., but says that the appellation, "Smasher," is misleading, mislead-ing, and that she prefers to be called a "Smasher-ine." "Smasher-ine." "Simply because I use a hatchet, I don't see why I should be known as the "Female George Washington," and I am not the "Mother of My Country," sho complained. Mrs. Nation indignantly denied tho authorship of the famous temperance song, "Beer, Beer, Glor- ious Beer," also of that grand old hymn, "Givo us a drink, Bartender," but admitted being respon- ' sible for the touching ballad, "Down Whore the ' Werzberger Flows." ' As to the story that Do Koven and Smith had stolen "Brown October Ale" from her book of Original Drinking Songs, she said that it was- a malicious falsehood started by the Amalgamated Assocaition of Kansas Joint-keepers to injure hor chances of election to the President of the United Si Order of Ancient Smasherines. J "There is one thing more I wish to say,-' she I remarked, as I arose to go. "I am at work on a wonderful powder which I intend to distribute over 71 tho United States, and which will destroy all tho ! fleas and grasshoppers in the country.-' "Why," I asked, in surprise, "what do you want to kill them off for?" "Well, you see, if there are not so many hops, there can't be so much beer." ALAN LOVEY. |