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Show THE ZEPHYRJAN-FE- B PAGE 27 1996 rubbed out in the prime of life. President Clinton was dead wrong to have put American lives at risk in Bosnia - particularly after years of supporting the tragically ineffective arms embargo. But visiting the Wall convinced me that Senator Dole was right - you don't have to support President Clinton's policy to support the soldiers. NORMA NUNN LAME PREDICTIONS Your humble token conservative, after careful examination of his crystal ball, offers the following predictions for Utah's centennial yean 1. (W)259-502- 1 (H)259-727- 5 There will be a Utah wilderness bill passed, and it will be closer in total acreage to the delegation's bill than SUWA's but more exacting in the protection given to the land that is declared wilderness. After the bill is passed, SUWA experiences funding problems as corporate donations from Patagonia and other titans industry are shifted to new battlegrounds. 2. Groene will stay in Washington, D.C a long time. environmentalists more there and they pay them better. erf the backpacking QUALITY REALTY 505 MAIN ST. FAX 259-83801-259-5- They like professional 87 3. Bill Clinton will be reelected unless there are horrific casualties in Bosnia. Makes me hope Slide Willie gets another four years. 4. Hillary Rodham Clinton will change her name to Mrs. William Jefferson Clinton for the campaign. After it ends, shell change it back. My crystal ball shorted out when I asked it to predict her hair style. i'q 5. Enid Wald Holtz will resign her congressional seat after being indicted for campaign finance violations. She'll ultimately plead guilty and get probation. SECOND ANNUAL 6. O.J. Simpson will settle with the Brown family early in the year and fight fire Goldmans until the bitter end. The jury in the Goldman case will find by a preponderance of the evidence that Simpson committed the murders. CNN polls will s think the verdict is racially biased - but whites will take show that will then file a Chapter 11 bankruptcy in Florida. a different view. Simpson lame-cartoon-of-- me concealed-oy-sig- u AD African-American- 7. The Atlas tailings will be capped in place but the rock will come down 191, not the River Road. ooooo. 8. Moab will continue to grow, though at a slower pace because (1) the national have greater control economy slows, (2) the Utah economy slows, (3) over Moab City government, and (4) it's a long, hot summer. Tourists still don't figure out that February and November are the best months to come visit. "no-growthe- j I 9. Stiles will get a new computer and become less technophobic. He will move to Benkelman after making a killing on his Moab real estate. He starts trading stocks on the Internet and writes a best selling book. He gives lectures on college campuses and falls in love with a (or is it another?) coed. There are vicious rumors that he occasionally laughs out bud. Let me do a Twisted Tabloid for you and your loved ones. 1 THE KOKOPELLI COFFEEHOUSE Sunday: 7 to 9PM ttmu m.i lFv MOAB PUBLIC RADIO. 259-48- Contemporary acoustic 97 f.0. TS2 & folk music Cottonwood Condos Kyle & Carrie Bailey, owners Full kitchen Units Microwave ovens Away from noisy Main St. in a quiet atmosphere Call 801-259-88- 97 or write: 338 East 1st South Moab, UT 84532 tewmoem, Mi 9326 (909)943-407- 4 or 259-64- 93 |