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Show PAGE 19 THE ZEPHYRJUNE 89 But wo were there for the duration. There was no way out of n. We went to physical training and personal protection class everyday. The Instructor taught us how to use a baton or nightstick. His learning technique was to attempt to beat us over the head with his baton while we tried to protect ourselves with our own. Some of us were more successful at this than others. The guy next to me ended up with four stitches, when the Instructor split the students baton In half and cracked him on the forehead. The Instructor, who came to be known as M.D. (Mad Dog), taught us how to break pubic bones. "The pubic bone," he like to say, "Is the most vulnerable bone In the body." Somehow, this bone, according to Mad Dog, maintained the structural Integrity of the entire skeletal system. By breaking jt, the victim would collapse Into a quivering pile of debris, and often Mad Dog would demonstrate Just what it looked like to have ones public bone broken. It was not a pretty sight We moved on to the firing range every afternoon at one oclock, about the time that die no seeums.and mosquitoes and flies are so thick, its difficult to make out the target. In this class, we learned about the "universal language." Until my experience In Georgia, I had always thought of the universal language being such things as the laughter of children, the singing of birds, the touch of two lovers or the human smile. Nope. I was wrong. At FLETC they set me straight The "universal language I learned was, In fact, the pump action sound of a 12 gauge riot " HJVE a Nice DAT -- ARCHES REALTY 690 So. Main 259-569- 3 out of state toll-fre- e line Castle Valley Home and Recreation Sites Arches Realty has been commissioned .by the developer to make major discounts on multiple-lo- t buys in Castle Valley. Excellent Financing Terms Available . Tior swm i WfcSJOdJ .351 tt'? t WestLight Pt-- H Photography . NORM SHREWSBURY Weve moved to a new location. shotgun, a language our Instructors Insured us that everyone understands. So much for the laughter of children. the Bruno, the firearms Instructor, taught us how to "smoke dlrtbags" "Once bad unofficial but. socially acceptable FLETC term for shooting guys. him suckin of fond Bruno was got the smoked saying, "youve dlrtbag, youve sand. Yessir. Suckin' sand." Bruno really liked to say 'suckin' sand. We had classes In crime scene investigation, pursuit driving. Interrogation techniques ("Where'd you get the flowers, kid?"), BOMB REMOVAL, cuffing even hostage negotiation. techniques It now: A lone gunman, Identifying himself only as a member can see (I of the Nehl Liberation Army, takes three campers hostage In a Winnebago. He demands the previous nights campground fees and safe passage out of Utah. He explains he wants to see the 20th century again . I decide to go with 750 So. Main Southside of Miller Shopping Center across from BLM - him). My compadres and I endured this tedious regimen day after day, taking comfort only In knowing that eventually we got to leave and return to our beloved West Finally, the last day, the last class, the "graduating ceremonies. The. traditional class group picture, and we were gone. - Back on the bus, back to Jacksonville, a Boeing 707, out of the humid swamp and across the continent to the red rock desert. It seemed like wed been gone forever, but everything looked Just as wed left K. As If wed never left. We reached Moab ln the late afternoon. I found my car and headed up to the campground. I rounded the corner at the the ugly, dilapidated, paint Devils Garden and there was my trailer peeling tin shack that I called home. It looked beautifuL walked up. I was unloading my suitcase from the trunk, when aI tourist I Just dropped my tennis "Excuse me," he said, "but have a problem. shoo In the campground toilet and I cant get It ouL Could you give me a hand? I smoke this dlrtbag? I Maybe I thought of my recent training. Should I He him. appeared should make him suck some sand. Maybe should Interrogate know. never to be harmless, but you I was on my way to the campground toilet, armed with my Five minutes later, , rubber gloves and a very long coat hanger. 't ski Processing Fujichrome and Ektachrome Film 35 mm, 2 Va, 4x5, 8x10 customized black and white processing - copy work advertising photography 259-794- 3 |