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Show H (J, P" " 'i1; g-i H si Qulntllllnn says tho perfection of B iy art Is to conceal nrt. Then tho young 1 jjj3 miss whoso mother, asked to admire a B first effort, admitted tho production K was a roso or a cow, nho would be M blest If she know which, had almost m n reached tha art pinnacle, nu It were. ll You havo heard of tho man who don't M 5 know any moro about nrt than a pig ji docs about skating. Ho exists In every village and Is usually found In tho m front row nt an nrt exhibit, talking P glibly of Michael Angolo, Raphael and m I Dennis O'TooIo's masterpieces, stnnd- I ing first on ono leg and thou on tho B I other (tho man, not tho masterplcco), nnd looking ns wise as an educated B J billy goat full of pnlnt brushes, paint t cans mid canvns. This Individual Is i usually tha town whltowashor or a 1 f slgn-palntcr who paints over a tin 1 nlphabct with yellow ochre nnd plenty M f' , of oil to mnke It spread easily. Ho M ' believes In the natural rather than tho J acquired art. His theory Is that an 5 artist should bo born, not mado; tho 1 enmo an n poet. He daubs and daubs and has moro canvus covored with BB landscapo than there wen rods In tho BB fenco Tom Sawyer and his chums BB painted for Aunt Polly. Tho local pa- BBl per tolls him ho has a futuro before BBh him as big oh a dray load of empty BB I piano boxes, and ho believes It. He m continues to paint from Nature, and BBk with natural talent, until somo sad BBb day he awnkens to tho fact that ho Is Be only an understudy to Whistler and a BBV. third-rato Phidias at best. Ho has BBiT learned tho sad lesson that only care- BBb ful, painstaking preparation, right BBm methods and a llbcrnl foundation ad- BBl mlts ono to tho real realm of art as a BBl painter. Even then, In tho words of BBl Pericles: BBl "In framing an artist, nrt linth thua do- BBb BBl ' To mnko sumo Rood, but Others to ex- BB j 3 5 5 H ' Tho mouth Is a hiatus In tho face, a BBh trap-door to tho Internal regions. BBh When a boy wo learned a lesson well BBb regarding this wonderful orlflco from BBf which .so many fool utterances spring. BBV A bnnd of nomadic Indians wore, en- BBh camped near tho village nnd as wo BBh z. stood about the camp on one foot bo- BBh cause tho other was afflicted with a B stone bruise, wo weru accosted by a BBh dirty buck, who had a wonderful bit BBV of mechanism about his person, tho BBV i sight of which ho wns willing to hawk BBh for a now slungshot wo had rcceutly BBYf purchased. For this weapon bo agreed BBh to exhibit a cuto Ivory case Inclosed In BBh a covering of leather. In tho center BBh of tho wondorful box glowed a living BBh j flame, nnd behind It a red strawberry BBV grow. Ho was Intensely passionate In BBh speaking of his curiosities, nnd In less BBh than five minutes a bargain was H struck. By permission our chum was BBh allowed to enjoy tho sight of the troas- B " ures. Having wrung this much of a BBV concession out of tho bargain, wo BBh transferred our slungshot to his BBYj chargo nnd keeping. Then tho swarthy BBh aborigine opened his bungholo of BBh oratory, polutcd at bis teeth, am", BBh grunted: BBh "Ump! Heap big Ivory box!" BBh i Out came his tonguo. H "Injun's red flame, much red!" B ' Then with his sollod finger ho dl- BBh rccted tho gazo far Into his yawning BJBJ throat, to his palate: I "Hump! Big strawberry! Whito i faco seo?" M i Having thus fulfilled his part of tho B A conlrnct he turned away, grinning at H our discomfiture. H . "H Wo have had a dlsllko for tho tawny H i faced red man ever since. Somo day B wo aro going to get oven by soiling Ix BBM,' ' a gold brick or stealing ono of bis BBV BBB 3 7 7 BBB A young woman who gavo up BBB neither candy nor theaters during BBB Lent, had no real lovo for tho young H man who was carnostly striving to H save enough money to buy a spring H ovcicoat. It Is easy to tell when a H young woman Is really spoons on n H your;',- man. When sho first meets BBBj him sho helps him spend bis money P at a mad gallop. Sho Is no moro con- H Bldcrnto of his bank account than H an Iconoclast who sets out with a B sledge hammer to batter down n few B ( old marblo monuments. Sho accepts (his presents with Intrepid valor, praises bis livery horses and tho steeror of his devil wagon with vol- umlnous flattery, partakes of bis H after-theater refreshments with wild H abandon, and meets every opportuu- H ity to spend moro of his substance H l with glad nnd generous welcome. H I Hut when she begins to feel strlck- tH I en oho goes slower. Finally, when H i sho Is really In a state to capitulate, H i sho crawllshcs like a lobster and Bf asks him to cut It nil out except a H fow flowers ow and then, and the Hi cheap sunshine of his prcsonce. Then, V, my boy, you bavo her and If you i don't claim your own Uio Investment 4 ts you havo been making Is a dead lot? Bia "" atl(I I10 prospect of ovon a two pei Bi' -4 cent recapitulation. From tho tlm H'u IHBHk. sll lfl yxn sno wl" begin to nai Hk:UhBBW your monoy llko n miser who Is BBBJ&BBBBBBB& Ing hard boarding after a complete HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHT fc " -it -HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHtejjHHB rest. Sho will keep it up long nftel you aro married, and at times you will bo compelled to go to her, confess con-fess a spendthrift habit and borrow fifteen cents for a shavo; ton for tho faco nnd flvo for tho neck. Don't toll her that, however, or she,. will glvo you but ten nnd offer to shavo your neck herself. Don't J-fl nor do It. Sho might cut you. tJl.iji 5 9 3 ' fy- The reportor who writes nbout tho "lucky accident" that befell Mr. Hlank whoso leg was broken but whoso llfo was miraculously saved has been undone. His undocr says: "Tho gentleman had fortunately deposited de-posited his money In tlio'bahk the day preceding tho murder, and lost nothing noth-ing but bis llfo!" That reporter must havo been ono of tho beneficiaries of tho unfortunate fortunnte's will. This reminds of tho town board that resolved to build n now Jail. It wns further resolved to tear down tho old bastlto and uso tho available material in the construction of tho new. It wns still furthor resolved to keep tho prisoners In tho old Jail until tho new wns completed. A young nttorney wns prosecuting n wldwlfo accused of throwing tho body of a dend child Into a ravine within tho city limits. Ho soared somowhat nnd In his soaring referred to tho "abandonment of this bit of flesh on tho highways of tho city, where tho bears and wolves could trnmplo and devour It." A Mnlno Jury returned n coroner's verdict to tho effect that "deceased enmo to his death by gluttonous living, liv-ing, causing apoplexy In tho minds of tho Jury." Wo cannot refrain from again mentioning men-tioning the ndv. which reads: "Wanted A baby-grand piano by a woman with rosowood legs." An Iowa man who visited Now Orleans Or-leans was much Impressed with the manner of burial thoro, and purchasing purchas-ing a lot and vault, bo wrote homo that ho desired to bo burled therein if God spared his life! A Toxns editor, commenting upon a poem In his paper, remarked: "Those stanzas woro written fifty years ago by ono who has, for a long time, slept In his grave merely for pastlmo!" Tho orator who remarked that "all along tho untrodden paths of tho fu. turo wo can seo tho hidden footprints of an unsqon hand," must bcllovo wo nro going to walk on all fours again, as did our monkey ancestors, 3 3 9 Down at Ann Arbor tho students aro engaged In a mad carnival of hair cutting. Not satisfied with moro shear trimming, tho rpzor Is wielded until tho victim's head looks liko a skating rink for flies. About half tho mala students nro wearing skull cups to slmulato a beauty of top-knot no longer theirs, whllo tho othor half Is keeping closo to tho girls to protect pro-tect their endangered Integuments. Tho reason they nro adhering to tho society of the fair students Is because tho femnlo persuasion Is In favor of hair on tho heads of tho young Lo-tbarlos, Lo-tbarlos, nnd, furthermore, becauso tho trouble is all over the segregation business, anyhow. Tho students who favored no petticoats began n ruthless ruth-less slego of balr-ahavlng. Tho girl-boys girl-boys argued that what was good for Poter was good for Paul and thoy Immediately Im-mediately mado friends with tho negro barbers, borrowed, bought and stolo "razzers" and went at It. Tho girls aro helping and at this writing honors aro almost even. From tho horoscope view at present, tho prospects pros-pects aro thoro won't bo a student with hair long enough to wrlto poetry, poet-ry, left In tho cntlro college by vacation vaca-tion time. 3 3 3 A Missouri boy took a contract to saw a cord of wood for $1.50. Ho began be-gan earnestly. As fast a3 ho cut tho Btlcks thoy woro thrown about thoso in cordwood lengths. Thus when but hnlf tho wood was sawed tho general appearanco was effective enough to Induce the owner to pay the $1.50. When tho hired man began to throw tho stove-lengths into tho woodshed, tho deceit was discovered. After being be-ing whipped tho boy was apprenticed to a politician and tho neighbors aro now prophesying grent things for him. As soon as ho Is big onough bo will bo taught to campaign In the prohibition prohibi-tion district and later drilled In thoso precincts where a good-sized personal tank Is a necessary equivalent to success. suc-cess. Ho has taken for his motto, "How I love the dear pooplo," nnd Is learning to remember faces, kiss babies ba-bies and say with concern In his eyo: "How nro you, Jono37 How Is Mrs. Jonesand tho children?" Ho Is getting tho hand clutch down to n science and Is speaking to ovcry Individual ho meets, male or female, antedlluvlnn or adoloscent. Wo will hear of thnt boy ono of theso days. 3 9 3 Prof. Uorlsavljcvlc of Servla, opened open-ed his oratorical orlflco and said a few things. As a result ho has been challenged to fight four duels, If ho Uvea that long. Tho attention of President Kllot of Harvard, Is called to this. Ho has been "sasslng" us now for somo tlmo about the short-ago short-ago In tho baby crop. And Dowlo! Isn't tho apostlo timorous of a duel to tho death with some valorous and offended personage? And Prof. Trlggs! Ho Is even In tho path of danger. His fountain pen and his stluglugdlatribes nroover freely flowing flow-ing and subjecting him to the challenges chal-lenges of an embittered public. They should beware, lest, llko Prof, Ilorls. avljovlc, thoy bo called to account. Ho Is a wise man who Is strong onough to keep a wrestle-hold on his ambition to Invent troublo fur him self. |