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Show t " Tuesday, May 4, 1948 THE DRAGERTON TRIBUNE, DRAGERTON, UTAH Apron Potholders Kathleen Norris Where We Came In? War Department Thinks Not Is This Vii -- Nagging Wife Plagues Husband Bell Syndicate. WNU DREW PZARSQN Feature The Comic: Broadway, what a . . . They tell you to be d then when youre different, they call you a character! Hey, I wonder, maybe Im asking too much? . . . Maybe I oughtta cut my price? . . . Maybe I oughtta change my agent? . . . Yeah, but who else would have me? Id write my autobiography but I don't have If I play one enough old jokes more benefit they'll be holding a benefit for me , . , One thing I can't figger . . . I'm good looking I got talent I got class I got charm my material Is stolen from the finest comics So, how cum Im not HOUSE POST OFFICE mittee has been sitting cn a confidential report on the Cleveland pest office which rr.ay lead to a wholesale streamlining of big city post offices throughout the country. Congressman Rees of Kansas, chairman of the house post office committee, has been holding the report close to his bosom, evin refusing to let some of his colleagues see it. However, it may help to trim down the dollar total deficit that the government is --stuck with this year. The Cleveland post office was selected for an exhaust. ve eff oency study, but spot checks also were made at Cincinnati, Detroit and Buffalo. As a result of the survey, con0 gress will be asked to earmark for overhauling a section of the Cleveland post office, and if this is successful, the system will be ad d throughout the country. Annual savings for the nat'on are estimated at 72 million dollars. street! rpHE Just now Washington isn't as warlike as it sounds. The emphasis is on defense, not offense. However, there are conflicting views on what we ought to do . . That eentenc just about reflects sentiment here as I writs these lines a sentiment that has changed rapidly in the last few weeks, days, hours, and may change still more before these lines are printed. That sentence also reflected the sentiment In Washington eight years In case you have forgotten, the ago. (1 found it among my clippings United States army, the greatest of the column military machine in history, was appeared redeployed out of existence and early in October of under such pressure from mothers I had just and wives, and at such a breakneck 1840.) come back from speed, that In many cases It didn t war depart- leave a pile of scrap behind it to the ment which then mark the spot whence It melted and on dribbled away. The Red army didn't was DouaiM Constitution aveIt Is still largely denue. There wasn't ployed. For 15 years, once a week, she has said to him, four times every And so here we are again! any Sunday night: The clock, Ned. Wind it before you come upstairs. I then. building g had been Panicky Outlook By KATHLEEN NORRIS an officer It Mot Justified IIE trouble with Regina is on the subject of One might become exceedingly our new citizen army. that she nags. And a seond-ar- y pessimistic, one might grow panicky. According to many letters 1 get trouble is that she has not think the I over as interviews, But, (I wrote) what a lot of people want to know Is why we need a citizen as I recall the faces of those men the slightest idea that she is a charged with our nation's defense, nagging wife, and so is army In peacetime? unlikely A lot of people are asking that as I ponder the words, the tone of to cure herself. I must say the net impression voice, answer The question again today. Most nagging women would be of the contacts is to make me feel which 1 reported to you In this colmore hopeful than 1 had felt before. amazed if you accused them of deumn eight years ago was this: stroying the home atmosphere and Speed ( what counts In aa chances lessening their husbands army today. We aren't calling out for success in life. That is exactly these boys to fight anybody. We what they dont want to do, they are calling them out to trala them would tell you resentfully. It is beao theyll be ready If we ever need cause they love home so much, and them. The United States can alare so keenly eager to help daring v ways raise a big army If war la Ned that they nag, declared. But neither we nor any Only they don't call It nagging. other country can ratio a trained They call it consideration and care army overnight. And a lot can and wanting things to look nice and happen In the night these days. What wo want to do la to train having Ned hold his own with other men. That's all they want. And If these men for a reserve . . It means that now and then they It was o year and three months remind those they love- - of little dftcr.I'wrota those, words that somefaults or omissions, why, my good thing did happen, not in the night, gracious, that isn't nagging! but in ths early morning, over Pearl Harbor. Wo didnt start it. Regina has a remarkably devoted did the deciding. They decided and good husband and two daugh ters. All three love her, or she has that we bad to go to war. made them think they do. Possibly The Leuon Over, when Marie Louise and Connie get No Time for Recess It was only three jiear ago, tn , away from her, get into homes of their own, they, will realize that 1915, that this hig!ypolnt o' Wc to April, say. Today we have more Mother is an extremely trying American camaraderie Russian have learned a great deal since Gen. Emil MaJ. when was reached 1041. learned We have 7, December F. Reinhardt of the U.S. first army how to fight a global war and win Ned, the husband, probably will greeted the major general comIt. The question is will we do. the never realize It. A meek Yes, manding the Russian 68th Infantry dear, from him has become such things which will prevent a global division at a meeting of American a habit that he will go on Into old war? and Russian units at the Elbe That will be something if we do. age obeying Regina and apologisriver In Germany. Meanwhile the wheel seems to ing for being alive. have made the circle and some of I had been He might once have been a self- - A pretty depressed when I the boys who were learning squads the round of calls in the varconfident, cheerful man. But began reliant, if 1940 this are wondering right in ious little cells that open onto the has destroyed all that. She Regina Is where they came in. 1 had a endless corridor of the Pentagon has been teacher, policewoman, chance to think about that on another offices, matron, large and small, with maps stepmother, prosecuting trip back from the war department on the walls, the men In uniform lawyer for Ned for 15 years of their I or ahould the departaay recently, or civilian clothes at desks. marriage, but never a real wife. ment of national defense. Its a 1 g I When had that the left, feeling Interrupts longer journey now than it was to the here were men who were looking old temporary" World War I buildWhen Ned starts to tell a story nt the task before them coolly knd The ing on Constitution avenue. says, Not that one, dear, Regina with a Pentagon sprawls geometrically over calmly, neither obsessed When they its long and tiresome. 810 acres across the Potomac in certainty that they were moving dine out she leans across the table Into another Inevitable conflict nor Virginia. The message 1 breught and says gently, Other fork, Ned. back was very much like the one I indifferent to the poosibiiitie that When he says he may be late at the auch might be the case. reported eight years ago. office, she says Or going to see more than three thousand times; It was a reassurance that the BeWe anticipate no belligerent or your mother again, is that it only a saint could answer patiently requrst for three billion more dolfore guests she may remind him, as he move on the part of the provocative does, "Yes, dear," over and la defense what for national lars Use your handkerchief, Russians. We dont pretend to be dear, over again. minithe military men aay Is the able to say what their plan it, or there's a crumb on your chin. Or Wife Destroys Husband mum peacetime expenditure to whether she may rake up humiliating epithey have one. In any case. prevent war. In ether words, desodes that Ned hopes in his soul Exactly what the psychiatrists It is not our move. Whether there would make of Ned and Regina I fense, not offense. It was pointed Is to be peace or war depends upon someday may be forgotten. eut that If It were necessary now the men in the Poor Ned gets airsick in. a plane. dont know, but I do know that his politburo. Wo have to prepare for actual conflict, the no way of knowing what their next Ill never forget coming from Chi- worst enemy,- or hers, could not cost would run closer to 50 billions more effectually have destroyed will be. We doubt If they have cago step ' than three. ' him. When a mans table manners, made up their minds . . Or But you did lose those tickets 1 was most heartily assured that domestic habAnd then one official came back seven years ago, Ned, so you can't speech, pronunciation, the United States did not want war, to the remark I its, business life, have been subject before: quoted me blame for asking that no encouragement whatever was for years to incessant, gentle, perAs for Personally, he said, I do not And shut the hall door, sistent being given those few persons who think correction, he loses any initiRussia wants war. I am cerdear," and hang the keys on the ative he ever might have had. urged preventive action. With less we do not. tain that nail, and take your rubbers off. certainty, but advanced as an honest We all know the devastatinf these are constant. Ned, in Regina's As I say, I went out past the reopinion, was the statement that of those pleasant, dubiou effect is doors an eyes, Idiot, and she obviously ception desk, through the high tia did not want war, either. voices that bold us baik from anv There Is ne reason, as far as Tnd out to where the quief river" had made him almost ready to agree impulsive plan, dampen our gayemwith her. the in holds its tranquil city we know now, one official told est ardor, shake our brace. It looked no more turbulent, If a business talk is coming up, me, why war cannot be avoided, I wouldn't say that dear. Are the no less tells la when, she to to during him the what peaceful, say provided a reasonable balance It seems that hat? you wearing I come out that to s war boss. At dinner she years, used established between the military to me I wouldn't call on Mary tohim and sits aghast at his report forces of the two countries. Now same door with my notes interpretThats a pretty gift, darling, day. Oh, he shouldnt have said that, he we are in Imbalance. ing the latest strategic war in Norand a nice idea. But Id wait a St. the st Lo, shouldn't have taken that att'tude' breakthrough It was noted that Russia and her mandy, while before 1 sent it . the Battle of the Bulge, Patton's satellites now have under arms nearShe never lets go. If she thinks Regina's idea of a nagging w.fe is he ought to write his cousin the a ly twice Jhe number which this tactical miracles. noisy shrew. She isn t that. Bat The other one they visited in that lovely AWashington is calm. country and the anti - Communist her gentle, persistent way she in countries of western Europe could day as I opened my closet door, I tlantic City place she tells him so is e as bad as the shrillest just with laded the trenchcoat noticed my five times a day before he wntvs put in the field. of them all. Fifteen years of It is well to remember too that the blue patch with war correspondent an;l for a week afterward, checks on it have reduced Ned to the point Russian Red army is mobilized: it on the shoulder. lt didn't give me him. You did write Cousin Anna?" where hr doesn't dare out a pick woti have we After all, just If he has to meet a train next Sepis largely concentrated in eastern a turn. necktie or dial a radio program withthe greatest victory of its kind In tember. she starts in March. Don t out reference to Europe, whereat American troop Regina, much less of the the plan whole the over are thinly scattered completion history forget the Wilson, in September." an opinion or make even express few and a earth. Russia has never really de- to aid Europe. That For 15 years, once a week, she the criticism' She might more combat bloodless steps which caution and has said to him four times every have slightest mobilized. she ha been the wife of a successful are not dictate enough to man them; she desperation planes and men The clock, Ned. and popular man. Instead she has Sunday night, for now. has a greater land force; a Wind it before you come upstairs for a companion a timid underling o artillery. This means that Ned has heard this and nervously obedient shadow. to think able are Even We are strong in bombing planes, clergymen but she has si stronger defense tn fast in a crisis, even though those Scientists Find Answer fighter and Interceptor planes. She who are prone to sleep through interPALO inclined ALTO, CALIF. -- A group of be sermons 'Is believed to be producing from minable may Stanford university scientists has But up In 75.000 to 100,000 planes a year. We to doubt the assertion. answered a qucst.on which no layproduced 1,700 military planes of Cambridge, Mass., a policeman was man would think to Induced to tear up a speeding ticket all types last year. thick is the surface of a our b'ggest shortage is In when a clergyman he had stopped But to liqu.d You be fast have veteran officer. said a explained, equ pment, The answer is: About 1,000 atoms, One' might go on at great length. I these days if you want to save of an inch. or won't I have rehearsed the sad The discovery, according to Dr of ever since redeployment story Paul Brady, project d lector, w li June is the dew month in JaI first heard it from a general's sechave practical applicat on in the In th.s country, we insist, retary, v'.io, like most of the rest of pan. field of lubrication. The navy sponevery month is "due month. us, thought it was reemployment sored the experimen ... working???? Merchant: Nah! Its usta be! . . . Hands . . . "The Gay White . . . shootm galleries, honky-tonkan custard stands , . . Whatve they done to lily Street? . . . Why, in my day people didn't dare walk down Broadway unless they were dressed formal . . . An ya shouldda seen 42nd street Ziegfeld's Broadway not what it me a laugh Way, hah! $50,-00- located .pt-e- Pentagon Trundle Engineering company, hired to make the Cleveland sur- vey, found low morale, high absen-- 1 teeism, excessive sick leave, poor supervision and weak disc pune. Transit t'me consumed too much of the carriers day, greatly reduc-- 1 lug delivery time. Deliveries were more frequent than the majority of patrons needed. A fleet of obsolete trucks, requir-- I ing excessive maintenance, m-creased the postal bill. Mounted carriers drove their own automobiles and were paid high fees, the experts Total cost of delivering a found. special delivery letter, for example, amounted to 20 5 cents. Special delivery messengers also spent approximately one hour every day filling out Form 3951, a special delivery receipt record not considered necessary. The Trundle company recommended sweeping steps' td abolish these defects. It urged a tightened, mere equitable- personnel policy, a morale-buildinprogram, a week for carriers instead of the present five-daweek. It also recommended replacement of the obsolete truck fleet, purchase of modern shop equipment to service new trucks and government-owneautomobiles for mounted carriers. It also advocated that serious consideration be given to boosting special delivery rates. inter-vewin- Follies n pins . . . Beeeyoootiful chorus girls in gorgeous gowns . . . Aint the same Broadway . . . Yknow, I'm gettin good and tired of it all . . . One a these days I'm gonna sell this stand and retire. s hot-do- tanks! y A COMMERCE DEPARTMENT EMPLOYEE was be'ng quizzed by a loyalty investigator about a young lawyer In the same depart- ment. Does he belong to any underground organizations? asked the investigator. Yes. "Which one? The Investigator leaned forward eagerly. The National Speleological so- ciety. What do its members believe asked the puzzled prober. They specialize in the study of caves and underground caverns. In? public. Most of Stasseus backers, it can be revealed, are blue-chi- p businessmen, including some of his old Minnesota neighbors. Several ol the group, it should be noted, haie progressive Ideas and enjoy excellent relations with labor. cross-examine- ask-Ho- ' ' for both apron and and applique for the Kitchen No 8et (Pattern fill) aend JO cents In coin. Your Name, Address and Pattern Number. Due to an unusual!? largo demand and current conditions, slightly more time Is -required In filling orders for a fs of the most popular patterns. Send your order to: pattern a SEWING CIRCLE NEEDLEWORK Chicago 1, 111. for Pattern. Name: Address. Whatta routine. Eddie, Objective of the Red blockade was to prevent any of the German leaders favoring us to get out. They will be massacred if we do get out. In the Intelligence game, it is a sacred obligation to deliver your friends from an exposed position or you will never get help again. (In spite of denials, British Intelligence got Mikolajcyk out of Warsaw.) The general Commy objective is to discredit us with the Western Union alliances at the same time they set up the Second New Germany. The intelligence departments of all major powers are engaged right now in the Second Battle of Berlin. Czechs completely reject the suicide version of Masaryks death. They believe that a strong-arquad of Russian intelligence called on Masaryk. They produced documents and told him he was going to do as he was told or stand trial for treason. Masaryk had a pistol and when he reached for It the sqnad finished him. His body was laid out In the courtyard. There were no visible bruises, and the Czechs say that had he jumped his body would have shown it. Of even deeper significance, there were four Masaryk servants in the apartment that night. They have disappeared. If Masaryk had committed suicide, they would not have been spirited away. governor, not a wealthy man, has spent the last two years touring the length and breadth of the U. S., with campaign headquarters set up in several states. Naturally, this takes money. The matter of who is putt.ng up the money is important to the voting numcri-cally-superi- obtain 1 from. The - To potholder-mltt- side-a-th- A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE WONDERED where Harold Stassen's campaign expenses wer. coming Xan-tipp- er e mean youre workin this street? . . . Beat it before I hitcha over the head with me bankroll , . . Gosh, its startin ta rain . . . Guess Ill quit for the night . . . Hey, Taxi! ! Sfassens Campaign Funds U. S. competent-lookin- g and very tailored apron which can take hard wear in the kitchen can be made of striped, checked or flowered cotton and trimmed with two rows of bright bias binding. The mitt can be made of the same or of a contrasting material. Plain blue denim makes an interesting mitt if it is trimmed with a lush red appliqued strawberry as illustrated. ' 538 South Wells St. Enclose 20 cents No First in Esrlin Col. Alexander Jehsarov, Russian delegate on the allied control council of Berlin, forgot one imp rtant fact when he boasted that the Rus-- ! sians alone liberated Europe and if the British were worried i that . about Berlin. Why didn't they get there first?" He forgot that, three years ago, American troops were tn Potsdam, the suburb of Berlin. Suddenly, the day after President Roosevelt's death, they were ordered out, back to the River Elbe. The order came after vigorous, almost savage protests by the Rus- sians claiming that the Red army, not the American army, was to oc- cupy Berlin. This commitment apparently had been made at Yalta. If American troops had remained in Berlin, the present dynamiteladen situation in that city might have been different. H.wever, although we cant turn back the clock, it is important to recall that at that time the U. S. was leaning over backward to co- operate w.th the Russ ar.snot slapping them down as clamed by the boys around Henry Wallace. Onovn pirn toop make 6 of tf gatioot tv ophtd pray. c Visits Make Long Friendships." Senator Barkley, the . Kentucky-widowerand a Georgetown widow are tch-tcG.rltown is electric with the Blazing scandal concerning a famed director who paid $10,000 to (on account) hush his starlet trouble . . . Freddie Bartholomews slugging match with a small-timproducer will make exciting news when he catches up with him. The stars car and cash disappeared, too . . . The president of the U. S. was a Washington newscaster guest star the other ante meridian. He revealed how many more shaves he gets by honing blades In the palm of his hand! h WITH Double-dut- y Insect! tides Kills by contact hills by fumes. Destroys plant lice but spare beneficial insects. Intitt on original factory. ittled con. tamers to imare fall strength. lAu TOBACCO 4 CHCMICAl CORPORATION Nicotine Specialists Since 1881 KENTUCKY IOUISVIUI 7. , ... e Russ Morgan's Memo: You can depend on some Broadvvayites lo take credit for a guy's success after all their efforts to prevent it have flopped. In Japan its Hari Karl. In America Its Harry Truman. r T3SH 32ZZ2 Relieves Distress of The grue- Murals: car festooned with stale lemons and the s'gn on it: "This Cars a Lemon! Its a new 48, too . . . The Chinese restaurant on West 43rd street named Old Mother Hubbards . . . The hint on insurance man Elmer Letermans Short USl CALIFORNIA SUNKIST UMONS .J imely-decorate- d desk; T .Vi) Manhattan s The juice of a lemon in a glass of water, when taken first thing on arising, is all that most people need to insure prompt, normal elimination. No more harsh laxatives that irritate the digestive tract and impair nutrition! Lemon in water is good for you Generations of Americans have taken lemons for health and generation of doctors have recommended them. They are rich in vitamin C; supply valuable amounts of Bi and P. They alkahnize; aid digestion. Not too sharp or sour, lemon in water has a refreshing tang clears the mouth, wakes you up. Its not a purgative simply helps your system regulat xtself. Try it 10 days. SPMY. m - A BIG, Memos to All Editorst Underground Activities Story-TeUin- . . . 5118 .my boy, youre a genius! . . . Say, buddy, kin ya spare a whaddya d per-su- g The Panhandler: Kin ya help a fella, bud? Mebbe stake me to a meal, or sumpn? Tanks, bud! . . . The cheap bum eats In Lindys an oney gii me a tin dime! . . . Sense me, pal kin ya stake a fella got no carfare to Joisey. Whattaya mean, Im drunk? . . . I jis loss me carfare home . . . Ah! Here comes that guy good fer a buck . . . Hey, Mr. . . . kin ya spare a Jee, tanks! . . . Say, old boy, kin ya spare a fella two bucks for a hotel room fer the night? . . . Keep the whole five? . . . Jee, six-da- y g George on one side Whites Scandals" on the other an Abies Irish Rose playing a seven-yea- r stretch . . . Men in silk toppers, soup-- fish n diamond stick- 1 f 1 ... n jwhich The-Jap- Candid Microphone! Post Gffice Deficiencies By BAUKIIAGE AW Analyst and Commentator 1 GO'feiD MONTHLY itlNUU IMS'-- Also Helps Build Up Red ETood! Do female functional periodic disturbances make you suffer pain, feel so nervous. Irritable at such times? Then try Lydia E. Plnkhams TABLETS to relieve such symptoms. 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