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Show 2- O O O r K "-i If evolution really works, wtiy do mothers only have two hands? Most mothers are always amazed when their sons or daughters marry a person with much lower mental capacity, ambition and moral standards, yet still manage to have utterly utter-ly brilliant children. Motherhood If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor! Shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to steer your car and you get about the same results. The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side. Parents: People who bare infants, bore teenagers and board new-lyweds. new-lyweds. The joy of motherhood: What a woman experiences experi-ences when all the children chil-dren are finally in bed. Life's golden age is when the kids are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, hire someone to do it or forbid your children chil-dren to do it. You know the only people peo-ple in this world who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? chil-dren? Those who have never had any. Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during dur-ing a snowstorm. Money isn't everything but it sure keeps the kids in touch. An alarm clock is a device for awakening people peo-ple who don't have small children. 7 Decorate a heavy piece of 8 1 2 x 1 1 " cardboard card-board with pictures, drawings, poems, etc. Place your masterpiece between two sheets of clear contact con-tact paper. Use the placemat to serve mom her Mother's Day breakfast In bed. Breakfast in Bed Cut waffles into heart shapes using cookie cutters. cut-ters. Decorate with fresh strawberries, sliced from top to bottom so they resemble small hearts. Top the waffles off with whipping cream and add a sprinkle of ground cinnamon. Make pancakes by placing a large heart-shaped cookie cutter on the griddle and pouring in the pancake pan-cake batter. When pancakes are ready to flip, remove the cookie cutter. Drizzle the pancake batter onto the griddle so it forms an T and a "U." When you serve this to mom, place it on the plate so it reads: "I (Heart) U" Serve mom your special meal on a tray, place a single flower in a vase along with juice or milk (whichever she prefers) and place your Mother's Day card along the side of the tray along with a cloth napkin. Ask mom if she'd like to read the paper, watch TV, read a book, etc while she's eating. 'I S 'A A He, I love you mother, said little Nell I love you more than tongues can tell. Then teased and pouted for half the day Till her mother rejoiced when she went out to play. I love you mother, said little John Forgetting his work, his cap went on. Then he was off to the garden swing Leaving his mother the wood to bring I love you mother, said little Ann Today I'll help you all I can Then stepping softly she took the broom Swept the floor and tidied the room. I love you mother, again they said Three little children all going to bed. Now which one do you suppose really loved Mother the most? c- ' J v . - g ! . u IV? ? ; s 5 -1 ' 2 v-" fir cmier'sEay Balloourpri Cut out a bunch of small hearts from red con struction paper and write on them things you think Mom would like you to do. Roll the paper hearts into tight rolls, insert them into balloons and blow the balloons up. Place the balloons around the house for Mom to find. Mom has to pop the balloons to collect her surprises. You can even insert candy and treats into the balloons, either alone or with the coupon hearts. Use your imagination when filling out the coupons, I'm sure there's lots of stuff your mom would appreci ate for mother's day. : will clean up my room" ill do the dishes" ,111 wash the car" ill walk the dog" ill sweep the floor will give you one our of quiet time" ( "I will clean up my room" "I will do the dishes" "I will wash the car" "I will walk the dog" "I will sweep the floor" . I will give you one hour of quiet time Douquet Cut out a bunch of red. hearts from heavy red construction paper; these are the flowers. Using heavy green construction paper, cut out two smaller hearts for each red heart; these are the leaves. Glue the flower to the top of popsicle sticks and glue the leaves about halfway down, on each side. Place the flowers in a small vase. These are nice to put on mom's breakfast-in-bed tray. V V. J i Heart Brooch 1 cup flour 1 cup warm water 14 cup salt 2 teaspoons cream of tartar 1 teaspoon oil food coloring Mix together the flour, water, salt, cream of tartar, tar-tar, oil and food coloring. Stir over medium heat until smooth. Remove from pan and knead until blended smooth. Place in plastic bag or airtight container when cooled. Will last for a long time. To make brooches, shape into hearts. Before completely dry, press pins into backs of hearts (buy the pins at a craft store). When the hearts are totally dry, paint them with your favorite colors. child's fielp Preheat oven. Check to be certain that there are no rubber balls or plastic soldiers on the shelves. Remove blocks and toy autos from table. Grease pan. Crack nuts. Measure two cups flour; remove Johnny's hands from flour; wash flour off him. Re-measure flour. Crack more nuts to replace those Johnny ate. Put flour, baking powder pow-der and salt in sifter. Get dustpan and brush up pieces of bowl Johnny knocked on floor. Get another bowl. Answer doorbell. Return to kitchen. Remove Johnny's hands from bowl. Wash Johnny. Answer telephone. Return. Remove 14 inch salt from greased pan. Look for Johnny. Grease another pan. Answer telephone. Return to kitchen and find Johnny. Remove his hands from bowl. Take up greased pan and remove layer of nut shells in it. Head for Johnny, who runs, knocking bowl off table. Wash kitchen floor, table, walls, dishes. Call bakery, place order for cake. Take two aspirin. Lie down. o o ii 10 |