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Show 1 . I m I j A Line o9 Type or Two 'Lord, what fools those mortals be.' I I -t- 1 By B. L. T. On Returning From One's Vacation in September. 1 Back airain, hnnjr the luck, in this pitiless c i 1 v ; Pusty, beprlmoil. polluted and pritty, But with liieniuriL-s sweet of forest and dell. And the hope that the heat is the last , b'-P f hell. I'll sav it's a change, crede mihi, yo ,cods, From Myru-a. Clintonia, Fraxinus pods; From shivering Populi grandidentatae ; From ta?iiarack, spruce. Pi mis divari-catae. divari-catae. Kcsinosau. and Weymouths; from eaq.es and air; From freedom from worry and freedom from caro; From hods win-re you sleep (in spite of tne hoilows) Like hears in a cavern, or pis in their wallows; From the joy and contentment in Ole's board shacks With thoir cheery and spirited sympo- siaos; From cleaning a musky or trout al Te-deseo, Te-deseo, And cooking a luncheon with Harry al fresco. To the storm and the stress, the pressure, duress. The heat and the dirt, the zephyrs inert, Tho morons, the wrecks, the rivalry, slavery, The noises, discomforts, the commonness, knavery. The poor withered elm, the willow, and YVhpc! The ever-deciduous cot ton-wood tree; To the feelin you out;ht, but don't want, to peruse The peripatetic, one-track, hypothetic, Shirt-sleevfsh and Jovian speeches YVood-rovi;m. YVood-rovi;m. That with murder and strike all looking alike And other tilings morbid purport to be news ; To hearim-: vile gossip in which you've no interest ; To the static conviction it's ever a sin to rest ; To the creased pantaloons and the loons with white collars; To seven -cent fares, and to forty-cent dollars; To the conflict eternal "twist this thir.s and that ; To the "law that has banished my Tana-m.a Tana-m.a hat Say, ir an. lu re's a "plae" I haven't a think Loft in me come on. let's or-lfr a drink Pish. no. not that "near" stuff, nor any such .;ur.-r stuff Oh, ve:i. uu.'-s I'm fated. Have a de- toxh-ated Cicar? Me fur home; no office till Monday; Mon-day; I can eh -an the nM furnace some time iliirnii. Sundn . P. M'Kim'LlhS WT.OTT. A bachelor ecvrp'airs to us that pmhi-blMo-i has ru'nei lus life. US en:iij-.in-he.s dc.T'-M th-'T h.Tl!it a'!, ah are p-ipo. the i.M fa-nlhar f-t. r and he can f . i-d no one in'.U to; ar.d he I :i rrv well, tr N'nw, we ! ,1a1 n nna-.i ri iupas-ion f . . r hini as it is nos.s.h'e to havt- fnr ;i:iv ha' :..-.r. and et we do rot Iardn'r has ? l: t- 1, w h-ui ii r.-n c-s to LIS l..t.-I at irjht !'." '.tn r;..-r, t-,.. e!o:h. tues.s and ta.l; to his uth. r s-it of can !.,-.-. If Wc Had Six Cents to Eisk "We Could Tut a Good Heading to This. Kn.m Mr. Ford's In t r: a ; ioj-.a r. Aral ;vr' IS i: .m- a t -r of ;v,;h -e. s on Iiri-i.td'A ay iav w !a eat! t--.; '",; of ,M',"!is w :..-n r ', a 1 oe,.e l'.-. -or f .':r wt" l,n' oik tor ,,: :i ,ie "as a. : aihy i-a.d. "It look as i? th was h"-o-r!rc n ha ; nnn.ior," .d-. ;-.- - o':r :.iorte i:-s-ton l..o i ,i; er. It ;,.ok-. too. t..e no!ae :.it..'a were . f i . . ; ; d t. into rt. s..e-taie, s..e-taie, tiie armory ta!;:!: its jC.i e. We'll Asseverate as Much. ! Sir' .Iii .Ui ;as t' .'t s .e t.iki':,-Sha t.iki':,-Sha a t it-, a.iv Jiuin iit::i a:,'-'. ;,o f" ,: ''-out. and th.it u to n 'i jo. ! Mi.oii'.r.c. no o--,,. s';, a u.-rd. T:a: s-I s-I I i : i o i !-i'l!t . ' y t soe.f -:y ' s'f,. s a n.,r fr.-'M me. and h--n lv )-1 )-1 ima.iy mad- to dls-,,;-,. ri.p ,s turn.-d to tn o: .- of ; t ..it r.'aoe t , . .,; :nre. Wh. r- do- t.o- orrd-.r ouT!,-r 1 of t .- j.iiji co::.e jn? Am t d.; ! -n a y s onderf.ii : J. I . 1 I. "I not iee," eon: in ani. -at -'s an a rt no; 1 1. r. t h n t some mi s son law ii a . s In oar eohirnn tu : a v ii ; ,i .ij .i : h s Lid olh.'T das n-'tttv ..a' Is t...- i.oa""' m: a word, this: Whoa t,..- coh.n n .-tn-s 1 ns as duller tl an usual we eau 'it in a it W i dashi-ij to hi'U it ;.;. An Old-timo Profiteer. i Sir: Keadiu- toMii:iit t'a- d. a:v ,.f M.is-t. M.is-t. - Joha Hal;, m. r. T In h'.d. u sale, li'.ir',!;,' t;-e r..-;u ol" K m i; i".,ai'.es t .e I'irsT, of !.,. s- d memo:--. : "l'. --. ). 1 ; i i-abv . ana- to an.-'.-.r m:.i:rM 1 aa,- hi th Marsa.e .i .shd'i' Ir.en W'aies hn:m--hii; S--a foah'S. or whl- l; thru- is k". at j 1'i-artho t '.romrtiont the Cit'. '1": , tarn ii'-tt;nc W md of our neeesitn put i over Jo I!..- I rank S-.de ami demauniel a miLVity l'ti''e lor his ,;.ar. wi:Sa nioaie" than tiie r.ople woald ir ve. H was sn no noil" I h.dore the HaChfes a ad l Imom.-n'-d. hut he i m; a S t n h Our ne -'e;. oue sfadfastlv r-f'i.-d to hear Ke.i-om Thei'.'.;i.oii M.-i't.-i- Kohi'ft i 'a i' ti d ! 1 1 . o':t .' i I'm r.; s--. oi d. red A ie t it e.m . n. . j iii.'',i was done and tin1 Fellow was! hai'md a M a l - fa et ..r and was ham;, d ! I.iih'.ii '.v on Tow m lldl tl'!s nn mni i , ; . it I h mi; raoiv nnd a nir.it eroud i'l. i lit to' se- him." I .lavt,.r Had mahes no tpird of a nre- I liimn.ii-v n i -tma.i'Mi hfau- onlered to ,!.;. mine w he I a r J i ;e prn e of S'.'a - V t Ir.v was ii a'ly l o h!ch. . p. s;. 1 iostnn has Kl V'-n ( "hle;i ;;o a t;ood I'll n for Uh immev-. What's the next eitv to dh uraee il.df ? In tho Tink. i I'inin SI r. a t or' s it,i t est pa per A llrr attendant was t a M efnl! v irown,.,l n pa'.- jdnk f.Uin slitm-Ts and hat to inaleli, and i all i e d pmk i a i na t Ions. What do t hey mean "Ind nst rial un-rent un-rent V" Ind'mti'c inner rest.', I so fiV-(iiently fiV-(iiently fr ior mi. h pioh acted jet (od-. I Wo Tcir Tltey'ro Too Acid to Keep. Sir: Why worry herau Mr. "Wih.oti whl j;et no fruit put op for llo w tntei ? Will vho no( have ph ntv of eann.'d eperehes? or do von rotislder those fiaij-!e;oO fiaij-!e;oO Hid'. We'll Bet S;ni Bernard Wroto tho Speccli. (''rnni 1 he New York Timr'O Trior to the flai; preMen t a f am. ll-rear-ohl ;ia.ls I'erhins was oscorte,l over Jo n t the m-neral hy Mr. Hot o! v-hel mor, nnd Hh.o pr.s.nted In the r.-meial ., u0 In whi'di were emh.'.ld.M Inmiliv.H of small t.'d, whlln and hlne flowers, nnd (die evl:i lined : eh Ollle home. '! ii j;. n.oal more de-rrvlni; for llr. ,h; i,f honor he has done" "I ,et lis nil a'Pi." iallon hhn for the j;loi lomi 1 ;i :;k 1m won." "Vl ian: for tho .dlv no:-e keep a ,(. lie of ale.ihnl Tea.lv ." M. ini v Hull. 'I'.liev're : poofha; yon, V Iv. WAN'Ti;!' To hny n coronet. Oakwood ."'.-li. i;:. Whieon-lii Slain Journal. ( nn Mionhl he nhh. to fad a seeoml-hand seeoml-hand one cheap 111 theFo demo.'tall, . I a i In (lie ineanlime vm m;iy HUe to know lint i lahriei Fhoit Is .xololtit al Ihe Slrand I healer hi l''l report. St"i I.ivHy! So ' "I se hotli j;al. .1I the I r.uiinK I trie, it nh'.hl, nml hot in' ".'li ri" .'nil.lhn: one m' tiie he-. I Known ..-Ma- al fHi.iui. S, |