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Show THE Sl'XDAY STANDARD: OiSDEX. I I AH. Sl'NlUY, .ll'XE 23, 1907. t FO'R THE STAFF FVH t V V V 3 y WILL S. G I 7) L E y x The XI Story of a Mistake That Might Have Resulted Disastrously i toprnlt. MM. by V ill g. G Idler. tilfcl day the Argus US bad had an untlrna uf usually tl. To begin with, the picas diajiaU'hea had itMiBUiled ' filled atlh an - . :: . : i i'. Hello, I'lu-lHorace! Locking for any one in particular?" saluted blake, as the man with airy toga and out of date paused inside the doorof way he.uljicar Hr.'i glanced inquiringly around chiefly HuithUu war news, which had been pour ius In steadily all day. unuaual and moat dis- couraging quantity of unpronounceable namea that la, to any and unapt-liablone Hcrpl an expert In Russian and Asiatic nomenclature. To an ordinary editor, proofreader or typesetter they were simply so many Jagged mountain chains of consonants, with an occasional vowel thrown In fur good measure. To cap the climax one of the hand set columns got knocked into "pi" Just as the paper was about ready for the press, which made a great Improvement in the spelling of some of the , names, but ruined the article in other respects, so that it was necessary to reset it, which was dona putting all .hands on tha work and rushing it through at race home speed in order not to delay the edition more thi. could be helped. v' The result was well, the Argue got out about on time, but ss managing editor of the paper Barney Blake had no reason to feel proud of that particular column of war news ss it ap--1 pearsd in print. Borne of It was still pi." but it came out all right In the second edition, also in the third and fourth. Blake saw to that personally, 'as he expected Colonel Btarbuck. the proprietor of the Dally Argue, In some time during the afternoon, and knowing him to be of an excltabla temperament the colonel often swore the Argue with Its blunders would be the death : of him he did not care particularly to have him sen that dispatch as originally printed. The colonel failed to show up at the usual hour, however, and Barney was rather glad than otherwise that he e i i :: Argus establishment end see the modus operundi of gettiug out a daily nvns-pai-c- the i mfiii H.iw did you happen to light on to my cog before 1 even opened my liapdour?" queried the caller alitin-sicalI always hoard the Argus had a mighty smart staff, and now I know it. Beckon you must bs the er editor, eh?" "No; i'ui only the managing editor," explained Harney. "The society edl-I'- w is the chap in the corner with the chrysanthemum hair and a rose In his buttonhole. You will also recognise him by the diamond ring lliat flashes o-men ly ess-sie- ty .. ' . didn't What ha needed; in fact what the enArgue SUIT neded Just then, waa a little wholesome recreation ins' end of an interview with or n lecture from Colonel Btarbuck something to take off the tension instead of screwing it up tighter. It Is no wonder, then, that when an unexpected opportunity fur innocent fun presented Itself Barney joyfully and eagerly wised upon It and made , the most of It The opportunity In question came in the shape of a caller one of the oddest looking fish that had drifted into the Argus office in many moons. One quick glance at the linen duster which hung loosely about his robust form and the last year's straw hat , perched on ths back of his heed, and Barney had sised him up for a homy handed agriculturist probably one of subscribers coming in, us tha - theycountry frequently did. to look over the ' : ure -- :: . i . i , per. "Mistake, suiyn-- iig at the waslebuskii '' I was aiiu- - il is "Well, seeing ycu'te .ipuli-gucall right." said Haiucj, with uiock solemnity. should say "Now, Mr. Hae,-ed-- I Hayden you luive .ilreaily hern inlto-and society edi- duced to our basel-oi- l tors, and if you w i,l cast your optics over the rest of the collection of geniuses before you I will enlighten you ss to their dunes, so that when you go editors wit. "Nice, genial staff youve got. full of fun. nlnt they? I hoi not laughing nt me. Jiain't 'Please Kick Me sign pinned buck, have 1?" j ! j Chuck bon-mo- ns sod flying In at the window." "Well, well!" "Uh, I tell you there is n pile la learn about the newspaper business when a fellow once eels about it. Now. I rather imagine you've learned n few things in that line today, Mr. Hayseed I mean Hayden that you never knew before!" "I reckon 1 have picked up just n few they're got n to my "That's all right. Uncle Horace." purred Barney. "Don't go to getting excited. The boys ere Just eimillng fur a little fun been working under steam pressure today hut none of them would ever be guilty of er by Georgs, they have Just the same! But it doesn't rand 'Please Kick' Ms.' It says 'We're From the Farm.' And If I only knew the deep dyed villain who pinned It on you I'd discharge him thin instant. Yea, sir, this very Instant, and I'd tell him not to coma a round again until tomorrow morning," he added In n stage whisper an he stepped around behind the rural looking visitor and removed the offending sign, deftly replacing It by another handed him by one of the crowd, reading, "Turnips For Bale! "There, that looks better," observed Barney, nt which everybody roared promptly once more. "RECKON YOU MUST BE THE ER "Not quite so much levity, boys, . BAB81ETT EDITOR EH?" said Barney reprovingly. "I am going to show our friend here through the on hia write hand ss hi dashes off Argue establishment, and I want to see how well you can behave while ts his eloquent and sparkling society "Riff! and his fascinating ' descriptions A big wed of paper rams sailing of Mrs. Brown's Colonial ball. Mrs. ORafferty'a French fete, Mra. Robin-eo- across the office and caromed on the Italian niuxlcale or Mra. John Q. ear of the caller. That was nur baseball editor who Binith'a Japanese lawn party. Oh. he's did that, n genius our society editor." explained Barmy coolly. "Force of habit, I suppose. He prob"You don't nay. "Yes. The paiier simply couldn't exably Imagined he waa throwing n ball nt first base. Don't let that happen ist without him. "That so? Queer Colonel Btarbuck again, Higgins." "AU right, sir, glibly responded the never told me anything about him," mused the caller. young man who had thrown the pa bullet of the balloon for the wireless message nptaratus. You see, as fast as the war correspondent in a bullooa gets a message ready to send in to the paper he grinds tl out oa n wireless sending machine, something like s phonograph, and It goes flying off Into space until il strikes the Aerial Wireless Telegraph line, over Which It w hisses through the air with almost until it reaches the lightning Argus office. It would do you good to see our office boy catching the messages In a wire basket ae they come in the ' body - i "Oh. you know the colonel, do you? asked Uiake. " Yes. we're whut I might call slightly acquainted. I had s little business transacti-with him the other dsy." Hold you a gold brick. I suppose." and Harney winked humorously at the rest of the staff. "iKrn't know yet whether it will turn eut to be a gold brick or not. Reckon 1 shan't worry any if U does. I've Invested in gold bricks before, and tha way I figure tt it's nobody's business but my oa n if 1 do It again. "Oil. I sea," said Harney smoothly. "A trifle touchy on the gold trick question, eh, Mr. er Hayseed. Is it? "Not quite. Hayden happens to be my name. Ifidn't make quite as slick n guess as you did on the Horace. Hut go ahead and call me Hayseed If you like. You ran remember that name belter than Hayden probably, and I guess it fits uie about as well ss the other, anyhow. Don't U strike you that way?" Oh. no, youre no hayseed! Youre right from Chicago or New York city-anycould tell that from the cut of your Jib!" And Barney again passed the wink to the others, who nil felt in duty bound to roar at the managing stray hints about the newspaper business. drawled tha man In the linen duster, and then he suddenly straightened uik and the awkward country nuts uf n moment before was transformed into something quite different as he went oa In crisp, businesslike tones. "Exceedingly valuable ones, too, most of them. Now, seeing I have been running n newspaper myself fur the past fifteen yearn, 1 had s glimmering sort of an idea when I drifted in here today that possibly 1 knew something about the business. But I find I was mistaken. I'ra only n Jibbering Idiot ia the new simper business, from the Argus standpoint, and, having bought the paper. Ive got to start in at the bottom and learn the trade nil over again from Its highly accomplished and courteous staff. Good Joke on me, Mr. lllakg hurt Barney wot to mention the rest of the Argue staff looked an if It would be a great relief to him at that moment If the earth wen to open and swallow up tha entire establishment. er- - who who are you?" y ho stammered uneasily. "I? Oh, I'm nobody much. I'm only Uncle Horace, the old hayseed that dropped In on you a few tnlnulao ago to take leooona in Journalism and the art of entertaining callers. But her I conies Colonel Btarbuck. Perbsi can get him to Introduce ms. Hew era you. colonel? A (rifle late In keeping your appointment, aren't you?" "Why, how d'ye do, major?" exclaimed Colonel Hierburk cordially. "I am surry Ive kept you walling, but It line given you a chance to learn something about tha (Argua,. establishment and tha staff." "Yea, K has," Interpoasd the caller dryly. "Pretty bright looking crowd, major, aren't they? Hoys, this In Major Hayden, the former owner and editur of the Centerville Courier. lie has bought out my interests in the Argus, taking poascselun nt once, and I trust the new relationship between you ae employer "Hello! What has been going on here? What Is that sign you are carrying around in your back, major? line, let me rrinove it. Turnips For Bale.' eh? I surely hope that miserable attempt nt wit waa not placed on your back by any on connected with this establishment." "I am afraid tt was, cotoneL" waa the calm reply. "You see. the boys mistook me for one of your rural subscribers. and they have been having soroe amusement at my espeasa. Hut I see they are pretty well worked np ever It, so perhaps we had boiler finish our interview ia your private office nud give our humorous friends a chance to think the matter ever quietly by themselves." Half aa hour later when the new proprietor of the Argus emerged from the inner sactura he found n rather It Into the wastebasket. "You've bed your lesson, boys, and I guess there isn't much danger of any mors such exhibitions as we have had here thin afternoon. I'm willing to try you anyhow. "But I'm glad you added that postscript, Mr. Blake," he concluded, reaching over and giving Barney's hand n hearty shake. Tt has a manly ring to IL and I rectum well get along together all right" itr "THERE THAT HOOKS BETTER" OBSERVED BARNEY. "W-wh- bark to the farm you will understand the secret of the Argus' success In gathering and disseminating tha daily news of the entire world. Including the city and county of lioomopolta. "The exreedlnf.Iy tall, thin young man, with the short hair and prominent earn, Is Mr. Perkins, our secret service reporter and war correspondent. Hie build, as you will notice, file him admirably for the pool tlna. He ia so thin ha can crawl over n transom without the slightest difficulty." i "You don't say! Fact, I assure you. And that la why n thin man has a marked advantage over a PM pounder. It requires loee gas to carry him, and if he falls from a balloon It doesn't muss him up no much as It would a fat nun, thereby effecting a big saving In doctors' bills for rerstiring broken ribs, etc. "I see. (Julie an Idea, that." "Yes, and, besides, a thin man occupies less shiv and leaves mors room end "WHY. HOW I7TB DO. MAJOR?" EXCLAIMED THE COLONEL. solemn looking crowd awaiting hie appearance, and Barney H lake's erst- while smiling countenance wan the moat Bepulchrally.Bolsmn of them all as he slapped forward and gravely handed him a folded document. Opening It, Mr. Hayden read ud follows: Major Hayden: have had eur tunings, end As the future pro. prletor of the Daily Argos you doubtless will not cure to retain In your employ II staff of long eared, unmitigated donkeys new connected with tha. paper, and we Hear Mtr--We It Is now your turn, . C to p- - B favorite beverage. Mr. Foo was very particular ia regard to hts emidnyees neffinasa and Insisted that they should bathe dally and be cleanly elud. Tha pickers carried the leaves to n building where they were dried In huge puns In n peculiar way. The green ten wan left In tha pan for five minutes nnd then taken out nnd rubbed between the men's hands. Then It wne returned to the pan for more drying. When the bend dryer decided that tha tea wne dona It was put aside to mol before being picked over. Then It was . THE WORLD'S WISDOM. At the town of Ortons, on thl shores of the Adriatic, heavy min has folleik bringing with It a shower of fish of different sorts and sixes. Tha princineighboring streets pal square and tha with fish. and when were literally alive the rain ceased the Inhabitants rushed along the streets with baskets and Jugs to gather them up. It Is presumed that n waterspout passed from the sea and discharged Itself over the town, but tha people Interpret the curious occurrence as a special Intervention of Providence on behalf of the porv. About I4.0M people live la the crater of an extinct volcano In Japan. They dwell In this pitllke town, surrounded by a vertical well eighty feet high. . and Good Verse glad to accept an Invitation to visit hie ta by a trail leading off from the rood friends at ihe tea plantation. connecting Navajo Springs, In Colorado, and tho Ban Juan river. Out A POINT IN GEOGRAPHY. there In that desolate place are where What boy or girl can, before looking Colorado, Utah, New Mexico and Art-soon a map, tell what four elatee and Join. territories come together nt on corCONUNDRUMS. ner? There ta but one "four corners In the United Btatea and, It ta said, but Vhlrh was Ihe last animal to go Into one In Ihe world. Tho place ta a very the ark, and why? The elephant, bedifficult one to reach, and but four par- cause he had to stop and pack hie trunk. sons have ever seen IL A few years Why ta a boy who disturbs a hive go soms Navajo Indians destroyed the like a very religious man? He ta an rude monument erected there by the earnest surveyors, so another company of surWhy le an eged Invalid like a well veyors who visited the piers erected driven nail ? Because he ta Whet ta that which a cart cannot another monument. The only way this ptare, on a spur of move wlthouL but yet ta of ae use to the Carlao mountains, can be reached It? Noise. ns bee-leav- - SIFTING TEA. boy. Mr. Barclay promptly returned this call, taking Billy with him. Mr. Foo wee n wealthy ten merchant, his warehouse on the bey shipping tea to all countries of the world. He showed hie AFTEEH00H TEA guests nil over the warehouse and afterward served noma of his finest ten in and when k was ever one of the Chinese servants was sent to put the cups of delicately fragile porcelain. On leaving, Mr. Barclay gave his sleepy little American boy to bed. Forconsent that Billy should spend n few tunately on that first night Billy was THE TEA PLANT IN BLOOM. days at Mr. Foo's country place, about too tired to notice how hard the bed of man was fifty miles from the city, where he had was. In the morning when he awakena kls to account, cording, a to targe tea plantation. Business hap- ed he found , the servant wailing to In the city substance end Influence pening to call Mr. Foo to the ten farm dress him. Breakfast of chicken, fruits which Mr. Barclay was accredited. had a chance to and bread with several vegetables wee When the Bare lays reached the orient early in April. Billy the first served, and then little Hop came to see of harvest see conthe beginning as me comfortably and were settled If his friend was ready to go outdoors of estate consisted Foo's Mr. country low ditions would permit In the quainL one story brick buildings with him. The twe children paased celled house that opened oa a street a number of down the prim garden walks and past roofs of bamboo innear the bay Mr. Barclay bethought with odd sloping the aged gatekeeper, who sainted them inside and this a wall, closed high by Introduction. of himself of the letter out laid were gravely. Mr. Foo waa talking to the beautifully the grounds He sent a messenger with It to the flowers and vinen and overseer Just outside the gets and with charming the of Mr, Wong Foq business place CHIPS FROM Lit prosperous uncle of Consul Chlng Ling. In a day or so a very tall. Imposing Chinaman, clad in expensive silk robes and wearing a handsome skullcap called to pay his respects to the new consul. Mr. Barclay was out, but Billy happened to be nt home when ha wee ushered Into the little reception room. Mr, Foo's eyes sparkled when he saw the little hoy, and he made a very handsome bow. "Ll'le boy come Chine, too." he said. "Like Chinn velly murhf' Billy had not yet made up his mind as to how much he liked Chine, ee ho replied os befitted the son of a diplomat. "I hope so, sir. "Ah, velly glood like China velly much! Just then the servant returned to say that Mr. Barclay would not return Immediately, end Mr. Foo departed, leaving many polite messages behind him. In a day or two he returned, bringing with him a little Chinese boy whom he Introduced ae Hop Foo, his grandson and sole heir. Little Hop Foo had brought some presents iff Chinese sweetmeats for the American folhs; YounSf ' 'HEN hts father was appointed American consul certain Urge city of Chinn Hilly Barclay was a little doubtful In regard to the con- -, gratulatlone showered upon him. He wasn't sure that n taste of life In the land of the ptgtmlled Chinaman was a ' matter lor congratulation. Mr. Barclay was acquainted with Mr. - Chlng Ling, the Chinese consul In his own ' city, and before they deported for the celestial kingdom this polite Chinaman presented the new consul with a letter . uf Introduction to his uncle. who, ac- . dWdifPddddfddddE Good Illustrations, Good Stories little ornamental fountains. The wife smiled encouragingly ss the boys apof Mr. Foo, the grandmother of little proached him. "Now Ills Mellcnn boy see how tea Hop, welcomed them warmly. She Insisted that the buys should glow, he said. "Ten! exrlalmed Billy. Ta that have their supper In her little parlor, WHEN THE "HORNS" SOUND. An extraordinary and little known phase of animal eeriailem has for centurion been promoted by the stock owners of the canton of V slate, who, at the end of June, when taking their cattle to the mountain pastures, institute s regular tourney among the cewa The victorious animal, having In her own person vindicated the survival of the fittest, is for the rest of the twelve-montregarded alike by the paeaenta and her fellow uows na quean of the herd. To this proud position belong certain' advantages, In which the owners Indirectly share, ouch, for Instance, aa that of the flint feed over new pasture. The proceedings ere mode the oaca-el- nn of e public holiday, but ere carried out with the utmost ceremony. What moat elrikee the spectator is the thoroughness with which the cows animals which we commonly sseociste with an advanced degree of stupidity-en- ter into the spirit of the tight and regularly take their turn, and yet more remarkable Is the resignation with which some of the younger or feebler animals measure their adversarys strength by their own failings at a glance and do net even enxsse. In order to guard against fatal wnunda tha natives tile down the horns, fixing a tailor's thimble on the point and reducing the horn is a blunt extremity. h eeeeeegepefepegeeeeeseeeeeereereeeee' Gntertainment and Instruction for herewith hand you eur reeignetiona M lake erect immediately, together with out apologies for the unpardonable treatment received by you at ear hands this Stlre noon. This note was signed by Maaagini Editor Bluke and the other members ot the Argus staff, and below the signatures was the following postscript : K 8. Tha boys wen bound to share ths blame equally with myself and hand Is their resignations with mine, but ns 1 nip ths head of tha office and tha ethers toot their cue from me I feel that I aions should shoulder the responsibility for what occurred, and, as na act of Justice to my fellow employees. 1 ask that my reotgnatioa Slone I acurpted and that no one else shall be mode to suffer for my (suit. 11 root of the boys are a pretty good lot. They will serve you faithfully and ndma themselves la your ryes, 1 m sure, if you will give them n ehaeea. lours respectfully, BASNET BLAKE. "Resignations declined with thanks! You are nil going tq stick right to your Jobs unlit I ton you different," announced Major Hayden bluntly aa he finished reading the above communication and, tearing It into stripe, dropped rarely making n Journey Into the outer world and practically forming n little community by themselves. Greet Britain and her colonies and the United B teles represent together the total of Jll.60e.OM English speaking persons, figures which leave ell competitors hopelessly In the rear. Russia occupy second Gernjany and 75.e00.000 apiece, and piece, with France, Spain, Italy and Portugal foi- ' WITH X&. FOO. tea?" Far ae eye could reach were plantations which seemed to Billy to be greet garden of shrubs. These were about five feet high and had been trimmed to look neat and bushy. a Hither and thither among the plants moved boys and men, each with n basket strapped over hie shoulder Into which he dropped the fresh young leaves plucked from the plants. Billy learned that these were the first young leaves of the year and made'the very finest quality of tea, each ne Is sold only to rich mandarine or sent overland for the nobles of Russia, who think noth tng of paying ISA for a pound of their low, with tl.flM.OM, 4S.OM.OOO. SS.0M,-00- 0 nnd IS. 000.000 respectively, according to the Atlas of the World's Com- The clock for the public building In Philadelphia Is the second hugest In the world. The dials are twenty-fiv- e feet each In diameter, which gives a distance of about a foot to be traversed by the end of the minute lisnd every minute. Its place is SCO feet above passed through sifters of various sixes, the larger pieces in this way being separated from the smaller and cheaper specimens. When the black lea was ta be prepared it was dried by reeling the leaves up In the air with the hand and stirring It constantly In the pan no that the air penetrated to all pens of the leaves. It was rolled while soft end then roasted for a few minutes. The only difference between green and block tea ta In the way In which It Is dried. Billy learned that the young plants of three yean growth were the first from which tea leaves were gathered. Some ff the shrubs In the plantation, huwever, were more than thirty years old. Tho leaves were long and narrow, and the flowers handsome white ones, much like a camellia, for the tea plant belongs to the camellia family. Three crops of tea are gathered In n year, and Billy enjoyed himself so much that he was always during hie stay In China the street. The cost was nearly 130 The clock In Bt. Rombold's cathedral. Mechlin, Belgium, as regards diameter of dial is nearly twlca the else of the Philadelphia clock. A maple sugar expert says that the yield of the famous Vermont product this year will be the best in fifteen years. He predicts that the firures will show an average of four pounds to tree. ' Last season, which waa better WHAT now do robins build their nests? - Robin Redbreast told me. First a wisp of yellow straw In e pretty round they lay. Then some shreds of downy (less, Feathers, toe. and bits of moss. Woven with e sweet, sweet song. This way. that way end across; That's what Robin told me. ROBIN TOLD. Where do robins hide their aeeta? Robin Redbreast told me. T'S among the leaves so deep, Where the sunbeams rarely creep. Long before the winds are cold. Long before the leaves are gold. Bright eyed stare will peep and see Bahy robins one. two. three That's what Robin told me. . ' than the three er four preceding, the country parts, when the luncheon table yield was a little more than two pounds ta blackened by flies, one may seese-t to a tree. Reports gathered In 1M wasp sail In at the open window, showed that about 5,4U4,0M trees were lect a fly. roll it over, curl It up and lapped end that the output was 11.004.-M- 0 carry It out Into the sunshine and soon pounds, so that this reason's return for another. New Tork city boasts the largest and crop will be approximately 30.M4.VM finest public school building in the pounds. Wasps prey on flies a tact which ta world. It ta of fireproof construction welt known in Italy. On any summer throughout and cost I3.4M.M4. It hue or early autumn day 'in the Tuscan accommodation for 4.004 pupils. , |