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Show B REVISED CATECHISM. B Toll mo what you know of Utah. B It is a beautiful and prosperous state, discov- B ercd by th Lord and Brigham Young and per- B fected by Mr. Thomas Kearns. fl Who is Mr. T. Kearns? B He is a truly great man who camo hero with B only a Pelc and -he wide wide world for an asset, B but, being a keen observer, leapedinto fame as a B great discoverer. B What did he discover? B He fell down a gulch at Park City and landed B on the bosom, as it were, cf the Silver King B mino He s also tlie discoverer of tho Island of B Alaska. flj Are there any other great men in Utah? B No. Wo leavo everything to Mr. Kearns, who. B sees tho pope for us, works untiringly to have rat- B tlesnakes and other unwelcome vertebrates ban- B ished from our forest reserves, and swashes the B newspaper men with grape, so that wo may all B become famous. Through the Tribune he gives fl lls a dalIJ' bulletin of the miracles he is working B for us at tue White House, all of which makes us B very happy and prosperous. B Who is next in importance to Mr. Kearns in B the state? B President Joseph F. Smith. fl What are his duties? B To announce every few days that the Church B ls not Jn politics. B Have you the right to voie in Utah?. B 0, yes. But wo never do so, without receiv- B ing counsel from President Smith or Mr. Kearns. B How are Senators elected In your state? B We do not know exactly, but we think the of- B flce goes to the highest bidder. We leave all that B to tno Church president. Knowing that we are B Uot lonS n revelations, he obtained ono for us B and explained that the Lord would never feel fl Wfte right about it unless Mr. Kearns and Mr. . B smoot went to the Senate. K But I thought the Church was not in politics. , B It is not in politics, but you had better see- B Editor Penrose, whose duty it is to officially ex- B Plain such matters. As I understand it, the presi-. B dent does not interfere In politics, as president, fl but merely as a private citizen. . B h, I see. I have boon greatly 'misinformed B sarding politics in this liberty-loving state. B ome ne should explain at once to those Chris- B tIau societies, which aro trying to line Senator' B Smoofs seat with a row of anti-polygamy tacks B hat in doing so they are putting a copper on the B win of tho Lord. |