Show v SERIAL IAL STORY STORYE E EXCUSE ME w Novelized from rom the Comedy of he the Same Name By ILLUSTRATED Rupert From Photographs of H IHu Hughes u gh hes the Play Piny PlAY aa as Produced ea By Henry W. W Sava Savage e 10 by br u. u K Ely nr 0 SYNOPSIS Harry f i He Hc Mallory and Marjorie Is ordered Newton Nekton to the to elope but L wreck of ot taxIcab j vents i their prevents pre- pre jents seeing minister on the way to the me train Transcontinental train Is la talc- talc ing l t on Passengers Porter has a lively lime tune with an an Englishman and Ira Lathrap Lath Lath- rop rap a Yankee ee business man The elopers have c train Iraln ral l c an Little excIting JimmIe time getting Belting to the Wellington bound lor Cor Reno to cot a divorce boards train In maudlin condition Ilat Later r Mrs rs JimmIe seam appears She is also bound for tor Reno fleno with tamo object LII Likewise Mrs Sammy Whit Whit- Whit Whit- comb Latter blames Mrs Jimmie for her marital troubles Classmates of Mallory Mal Mal- lory decorate bridal al berth Rev and Mrs Mrs- start on a n vacation They decide to lo cut loose and Temple removes evidence jf f C his calling calling- Marjorie decides to let I Mallory proceed alone but train starts while they are arc lost In farewell Passengers gers Join Mallory's classmates In giving wedding hazing Is is Ling dis Ira Lathrop woman hating bachelor discovers an old sweetheart Anne tle a a fellow passenger Mallory Mal Mal- lory vainly hunts for tora a preacher among the passengers Mrs Wellington hears rHUe Jimmies voice Later she meets Mrs Irs Whitcomb Mallory reports to lo Marlone Mar Mar- lone orle his failure to find a u preacher They Ide to pretend a quarrel and Mallory ands a vacant berth erth CHAPTER XV Continued XV-Continued Continued And now he was sprawled and snoring ing lag majestically among his his' many lug lug- gages like a 11 sleeping lion Hon Revenge tasted good to th the humble porter it tasted like Wee a candled candied yam smothered in possum possum gravy He smacked his thick lips over this revenge With all an the insolence of a servant In brief authority he e gloated over his prey prey and prodded him awake Th Then n murmured murmured murmured mur mur- with h hypocritical deference Excuse me bu but could I 1 see yo ticket for yo seat Certainly not Its It's too loa much trouble grumbled the halt half Confound d you ou The The porter porter lured him on Is you shoo Bho you got one Wedge Wedgewood wood was wide awake now I and surly as any Englishman before breakfast Of cawse Im I'm shaw slaw How Too bad but Im I'm to ask you yon to a peek at it It It This is 13 an outrage but I Just got to tos it s st e a edgewood Wedgewood gathered himself together to to- nether ether and ransacked his many pockets pock- pock jet ets with increasing anger muttering under i ler his breath At length he produced pro prO- tb the ticket cleet and thrust it at the porter r Thab you idiot are you you- convinced convinced con can vinced now The rho pOI porter t r gazed at tl the e billet with Ill concealed triumph ls l's convinced Mr Wedgewood settled back and closed his eyes Is rs convinced cony con can y vinced Ince that you is in the wrong berth Impossible I 1 wont won't believe you the Englishman raged getting to his r c feet leet in a fury Pei Perhaps haps you'll believe Mista Ticket Tick Tick- et the thc porter chortled He says sars numba ten and that's ten across the TV wa way ay and down the road a piece This is outrageous I 1 decline to move e You may decline but you move w Just the same the porter said reachIng reach reach- lug lug Ing out for his various bags and car carryalls car car- ryalls The train moves and you OU J move o e with it Wel Wedgewood ewood stood fast You had no right light to to put me In here In the first place The porter disdained to refute this blander slander He lIe stumbled down the aisle with the bundles Its too bad its it's too bad but bu you ou must come along Wedgewood Wedge followed d gesticulating violently dare And Here how Here wait how you I that berth is made up I dont don't want to go to bed now A ista Ticket says Go to bald Of or all the disgusting countries Heah Ileah dont don't put that thab heah The porter parler flung his load anywhere and absolved himself with a n curt ls is got cot otha passengers to wait walt on now to the I t shall certainly report you company Compan the Englishman fumed I 1 so 7 Have Ilave I got to fa go to bed now healY Heal- Heal Iy ry Y i but the porter was gone goner anu anti the Irate foreigner crawled under his curtains muttering I shall write a aletter as s letter to the London Times rimes about this To add to his misery Mrs Whitcomb Whitcomb Whitcomb Whit- Whit comb came camo from the Women's Room Koom and as she passed him uini she prodded 3 him with one sharp elbow and twisted tho the corner of her ber heel beel into his little too Ho thrust his head bead out with his fiercest How dare you But Dut Mrs o b was fresh from a prat prolonged pro pra pro prolonged t. t longed encounter with Mrs Welling Well Wellington ng- ng ton an and ani ehe she flung back a u venomous glare giare that sent bent the Englishman to cover The Tho porter parler reveled in his victory till ho had to dash out to tho the vestibule to give vent to hilarious yelps of laughter When ho bo had regained composure composure com com- he came back to Mallory ana wa j b bent nt over him to say Yo Va berth Is empty sab sad Shall 1 make up It-up Mallory nodded and turned to Marjorie Marjorie Mar Mar- jorie with a sad Good night darlIng darling darl darl- ing The Tho porter rolled roiled his eyes again and turned away only to be recalled by Marjories Marjorie's voice Porter take this old handbag out of here hero The The porter thought of tho vanquished vanquished van van- yan- yan ed Lathrop exiled d to the amok smokIng smoking ing lug room and he answered That belongs belongs belongs be be- longs to the what owns this berth Put It in number one Marjorie commanded with a queenly gesture rhe The porter obeyed meekly vonder Ing what would happen next He Ho had I no sooner deposited Lathrop Lathrop's s valise among the incongruous white ribbons than Marjorie recalled him to say And porter you OU may br bring ng me my myown myown myown own baggage Yo Va what what missus missus Our handbags Idiot Mallory explained explained explained ex ex- peevishly I aint seen no handbags of you you- alls aIls the porter protested You all didn't have bave no band handbags bags when you goton got goton on this cah Mallory Jumped as If he had been shot Good Lord I remember We left em era In the taxicab The porter cast his hands up and walked away from the tragedy Marjorie Marjorie Marjorie Mar Mar- jorie stared at Mallory in horror We had so little time to catch the train Mallory stammered Marjorie leaped to her ber feet Im going up in inthe inthe the he baggage car For the dog For my trunk And now Mallory annihilated her I completely completely- for he gasped Our I trunks are aro on the train ahead Marjorie fell b back cl for forone one moment then bounded to her bel feet teet with shrill commands Porter Porter I want you ou to stop this train this minute The rhe porter called back from rom the depths of a berth This train dont don't stop till tomorrow noon Marjorie had strength enough for only one vain protest Do you mean to say that Iv Ive I've got to go to San Francisco Francisco Francisco Fran Fran- cisco in this waist waist waist-a a waist th that t has seen a whole day In Chicago The best consolation Mallory could otTer offer was companionship p In iii misery ery He pushed forward one not too Immaculate Immaculate Im- Im maculate cuff Well this Is the only linen I 1 have Dont Don speak to me snapped Marjorie Mar Mar- jorie beating her heels against the floor oo But my darling Go away and leave me I hate you l Mallory allory rose up and stumbling down the aisle pi Into berth number three an allegory of despair About this time Little Jimmie Wellington Well ington having completed ted more malO or less chaotic preparations for sleep found that he be had put on his pyjamas hind- hind side foremost Alter After vain efforts to whirl round quickly and get at his own back he put out a frowsy head and called for or belp help Say Porter Porter Im still sUIl on the train answered the porter coming into view have to hook me une up The porter rendered what aid and ana correction he could In Wellington's tons ton's toilet tollet W Wellington was just wide enough awake to discern ern the undisturbed chamber bridal He whined Say porter that rice rice traps trap Arent Aren't they g going to flop the trap rice The Iho porter shook his head sadly Dont look like that Hoppers Hopper's to flip That dog dog on on bridal couple is Is' done divorced aready CHAPTER XVI Good Night All AMI The car was settling gradually Into peace But there was still some murmur murmur murmur mur mur- mur and drowsy energy Shoes continued continued continued con con- to drop heads to bump against upper berths the bell to ring now and then and ring again and again The porter paid little heed to it lie he was busy making malting up number live liveIra Ira Lathrop's b berth rth for for Ma Marjorie who was making what preparations she could for lor her hus- hus first night out Finally the F Englishman who had almost almost almost al al- al- al most rung the boll dry of electricity shoved from Om his berth his indignant and undignified head Once more the car resounded with the cry of at Paw tab Paw tab The porter mo moved ed up with noticeable noticeable noticeable notice notice- able deliberation Did you ring sah sab DU I 1 ring Paw tah tah you may draw my ray tub at eight y In the Draw Dra w yo what yo what sah sale the porter gasped tub Cub My ath Ba tub I tub Lawdy man Is s you allow In to take a ba-ath ba In the Of course I am am you have one you How flow ow dare you Of or I did Well that's all you ou Do you mean to tell me that there is no tub on this beastly train Wedgewood almost fell out of ot bed with the shock of this news We Wo do not carry tubs tubs tubs-no no sab sail Theres There's a lot of tubs in San Francisco FranCisco Fran Fran- Cisco though No uNo tub on this train for four days Wedgewood sighed But whatever toes does one do In the meanwhile One Just waits one andall andall and andall all waits walts Its ts t's that's what lit Jit It is is J said the porter and mumbled as ho he walked away but the weather Is gettin cooler He lie le finished preparing Marjories Marjorie's bunk and was just suggesting that Mallory retreat to the smoking room while number three was made up when there was a commotion hi ki the J I I I corridor and a man in overalls over over- i aIls alls dashed into the c car r. r His ear was slightly red and h he held at arms arm's length as If It were a av v venomous monster And AndI I he yelled I Say whose durn dog Is this thi He bit two men and he makes so much noise we ve cant can't sleep In tho the baggage car Marjorie went flying down the aisle to reclaim her lost lamb In wolfs wolf's clothing and the returned prodigal yelped and Ie lee d d and told her her- herall all about about the indignities he had been subjected to and his valiant struggle for liberty ty Marjorie see seeing ng only stepped Into the fatal berth number one nn an and 1 paid no heed beed to the dangling ribbons Mallory eager to restore himself to her love by loving h her r dog crowded closer to her side making a hypocritical ado over the pup Everybody was popping his bis or her face face face- out to learn the cause of such clamor Among the bodiless badness heads suspended along the curtains like ilka Dyak trophies appeared the great mask of Little Jimmie Wellington He had been unable to sleep for tor mourning mourn mourning i ing g the wanton waste of that lovely rice rice trap trap When he be peered forth his eyes eye hardly believed themselves T The elusive bride an and groom were actually actually actu actu- actually ally In the trap trap the the hen pheasant and the chanticleer But the net did not fall faU He waited to see them sit down and spring the Infernal ma na- na a- a chine But Dut they would not sit In fact Marjorie was muttering to Harry tenderly t tenderly now since he had won her back by his efforts to console console con can sole she she was muttering tenderly We m must st not be seen together honey Go away Ill I'll see you In the morning And Mallory was saying with bitterest bitterest bit bit- terest teres resignation Good night nIght nIght-my my friend And they ere shaking hands bands This Th incredible bridal couple was shaking hands with it itself itself elf disintegrating Then Wellington determined to do at least his duty by the sacre sacred rites The gaping passengers saw what was probably the largest pair pall of at paJamas pajamas pajamas pa- pa Jamas In They saw Little Jimmie smothering back badt his giggles like a schoolboy boy tiptoe from his berth enter the next berth brushing th the porter aside climb on the seat and clutch the ribbon that pulled tho the stopper from fromn the trap Down upon the unsuspecting elopers elopers elopers elop- elop ers came this this' miraculous cloudburst of iro ironical rice and with It came Little Little Little Lit Lit- tle JimmIe Wellington who lost what little balance h he had and catapulted Into their midst like the offspring of or oran of an Iceberg It was at this moment that Mrs Wellington hearing the loud cries or of orthe the stricken panic Marjorie rushed from the Women's Room absentmindedly mind absent edly edly- combing a totally detached section section section sec sec- tion of ot her hair She recognized familiar familiar fa fa- pyjamas waving in air all and with one faint gasp Jimmie on this train she swooned aw away y She would WOUld have fallen but seeing that no DO one paid any attention to her she recovered recovered recovered ered consciousness on her own hook and va vanished into her berth erth to medItate meditate meditate medi medI- tate on the whys and wherefores of or her bus husbands husband's bands band's presence In this car Dr Temple in a nightgown and trousers Roger Ashton In In Ina a collarless collarless collar collar- less estate and the porter managed manag d to extricate Mr Wellington from his plight and stow him away though It wa was like putting a whale to bed Mallory seeing that Marjorie had fled vented his wild rage against fate in general and rice traps in in particular lar by tearing the bridal bungalow to pieces and then he ho stalked into the smoking room where Ira Lathrop homeless and dispossessed was sound asleep with his feet in th the chair He was dreaming tb that that t he was a aboy aboy aboy boy in Brattleboro the worst boy In Brattleboro o trying to get up the courage courage courage cour cour- age to spark pretty Anne Gattle and throwing rocks at the best boy In town Charlie Charile Selby who was always at her ber side The porter woke Ira an hour later and arid escorted him to the late bridal section Marjorie had fled with her dog as soon as she could grope her way through the deluge of rice She hopped hopped hop hop- hopped ped into her berth and spent an hour trying to clear her hair hall of or the multitudinous multitudinous multitudinous mul mul- grains And as fo for fo his thick thic wool was so be that for or two days whenever r ho he shook himself he TO BE CONTINUED |