what ob thinks about Pensions for Veterans S SANTA CANTA ANTA MONICA CALIF Merely another little prophecy by old ohl Doctor Cobb the amateur soothsayer who never said a sooth hes he's surer of than this tins one Agitation for or a blanket pen sion to cover er all World war ctet veter ans ons regardless s of ot ratings or cal cat condition will start as os soon as those In won lately billions are sited At first some veterans veterans' will oppose It n not not 0 t for long though At first congress V tv will i II l l I b be e lukewarm T The Then h e n It'll see a great grent light and this new pension act one act 0 one n e that will be to all previous pension acts what a whale Is to will tadpoles-will Irvin S Cobb be passed At least the veterans have the argument argument ar ar- ar- ar of ot patriotic service on their side And Ana Isn't It true that to nearly nearly near near- ly Iy all of ot us has us come a new v conception conception conception con con- of the national figurehead No longer Is It square jawed self self- dependent Yankee I Doodle Its It's a generous Jolly smiling Santa Claus bringing free checks for everybody e that is free tree until the taxpayers start pay paying I ng the bill hili Defying the Almighty G FOLLOWING OWING the example set some years ago by a certain famous fa fu- fu personage a cock cocksure sure Infidel made a speech lately late defying God to smite him dead on the spot It seemed first off a very sound Idea but nothing happened so o the gentleman gentle man took this for proof there was no God and went his way rejoicing Some look on this as blasphemy but granted that every man Is entitled tied to speak his opinion on religion religion religion re re- ligion Id I'd call It pure gall Think of Inviting the Almighty to suspend the entire cosmic scheme while for forging a thunderbolt to abolish one solitary copycat of an amateur AJax Would you jou Oll call out the standing stand ing army of the United States to kill a cockroach Lady Killers IT T T HAS liAS been in print so often you A must know it by heart yourself At sight of ot her recreant gentleman friend the poor bruised butterfly felt a great sense of ot her wrongs wrongs- the wretch wanted to go back to hi his wife or something equally dastardly and and the next thing she knew she was holding a smoking automatic that accidentally happened to be In her ber handbag along with some lipstick lipstick lip lip- stick and a nd a recipe for tor fudge and he was deader dender than the prosecutors prosecutor's chance of convicting her for the killing But ut just prior to that ev everything went black before her eyes ejes Theres There's one detail which never never nev neve er varies that varies that going going black black before business the-eyes the It was In the case they tried recently recently recently re re- re- re In New York Its It's in this latest case at Chicago a sore affliction always marked by total lapse of memory and frequently coupled coupled cou cou- pled with temporary Insanity but Its It's certainly fine for tor marksman marksman- ship Brawls Brawl In Hollywood NATURALLY I have hot southern south south- ern blood which seems to be bethe bethe bethe the hottest there Is although down home I never noticed It But Hut up north If trouble Impended people would speak of my hot southern blood when all the time I thought I was having a nervous chill chili Being thus all ail blooded hot hot blooded up I adore fighting If somebody else does It Since our movie mo heroes always as stage their combats in some utterly secluded spot such as a cafe or a night club I hurry burry hither and yon hoping to be he present when an embittered embittered star satisfies his honor b by bouncing a special order of ot sweetbreads sweetbreads sweet sweet- breads under glass with mushrooms twenty minutes minute 00 cents off some rivals rival's classic profile But nut Its It's hard enough for me to get in touch with a waiter walter let alone alonea a good tossing plate contest Today To To- Today day the war correspondents report two brisk battles on the Hollywood wood front and Im I'm absent as usual In the main bout both gladiators were script writers proverbially a breed Believe It or not a aMr Mr tangled with a Sir tr Buskin Ruskin Bus Rus- kin the presumption being that one of ot the gentlemen regarded the theother theother theother other as a typographical error English Reds Red Again G printed here bere recently recent recent- ly about the way woy the English handle bandle their reds red and pinks prompted prompt prompt- ed an English gentleman to write giving further details seem that over o there all public s servants servant Including notably school teachers must state state paid the crown which sweat swena to uphold means they cannot preach communism communism communism to their pupils without violating violating violating vio vio- lating a solemn oath and If It caught official so doing they lose their beads Instanter Moreover no avowed or suspected d agent of ot the Soviets may us use e the tile radio to preach the overthrow o of ot the existing gov goo eminent in favor tn of ot the Russian P In other words words forgive forgive the pun shall ahall be Slays Slavs Britain never ne please lease lease- 1 p IRVIN S. S COBB p e NU 8 Service r lc